Vacations with or without skids??
Wondering if anyone else plans their vacations without the skids? We all (me, DH, SS11, SS16) went to Yellowstone a few years ago and it was awful. I almost left DH after that. (We were engaged at the time) I told him NEVER AGAIN. Since then, we went on a couple "romantic getaways" but then had a baby. We are taking my DS1 and my mom to Hawaii this April for DH's college roommate's wedding. Should I feel bad taking DS but not skids on vacations? It just wouldn't be a vacation for me! Ps the skids went to FL with us over New Years last week, as MIL planned an extended family get together. I only agreed because there were cousins/relatives and a pool there for distraction for skids. But that was just as painful as Yellowstone. I don't feel guilty at all right now, but I'm afraid as DS gets older he'll want them to come along...
My SO and I do one vacation a
My SO and I do one vacation a year with the skids (if at all) and usually 2-3 by ourselves. I don't have kids, so it makes sense that we would vacation w/o his - plus then we get to do what WE WANT, not having to worry about if the skids will do it or not, etc. We are the adventurous types, his kids most definitely ARE NOT. Big babies, too scared to even ride a bike! Seriously! They won't even try! Is that normal?? lol
Similar^^^ We do ONE vacation
Similar^^^
We do ONE vacation with skids and my bios "family vacation"
And 2 without kids, just the 2 of us.
Yes, ditto. One week long
Yes, ditto.
One week long (maximum) with SDs is all I can handle.
We do shorter, more frequent vacations for just the two of us.
DH doesn't like going on
DH doesn't like going on vacation without his precious children. We tried it once when SD was being disrespectful (it was her punishment) and he moaned and groaned the whole time about how he wished SD were here.
OMG. I'd be so annoyed.
OMG. I'd be so annoyed.
Our best vacations were the skid-free ones.
We go to the mountains every
We go to the mountains every year in March as well and have told the SS's that they cannot go. Last year while talking to SS13 on the phone, DH in a gracious mood told him they could come this year.
We now have a house for two adults, two kids and the furbaby.
It's not that I don't enjoy time with the boys, they are very well behaved and we have alot of fun, BUT I am not cooking, cleaning or looking after the dog at all. We travel enough with them, its the one long weekend of the year that I look forward to spending uninterupted time with DH
I would have to spend the
I would have to spend the entire vacation drunk to endure PrincASS and PigPen 24/7. Frankly, I don't think my DH could stand to be around them for an entire week. If PrincASS doesn't have access to the internet 24 hours a day, he would up and die. PigPen gets bored in 5 minutes. We took them to their first big league baseball game last year. The home team scored one run and PigPen wanted to leave. It was the first inning.
Get ready for SD to say,
Get ready for SD to say, "Great! I love the idea of separate vacations! When are my dad and I taking a trip together without my half siblings?"
Not with her dad. This line
Not with her dad. This line will work on a dad with guilt.
We do vacations with bios
We do vacations with bios without skid (even though they live with us), because sometimes it just doesn't work out. The thing we are going for may only fall on one weekend a year (a weekend they are with BM) and that's just how it is. Sometimes skid misses out on traditions because they aren't home (like Christmas tree shopping), but skid is doing those things with BM. Skid's world keeps on going when they are at BM's, why shouldn't ours (and our kids')?
We use to do vacation with SS
We use to do vacation with SS stb14 and it was a nightmare as it was always about SS what HE wants to do 24/7. Last time was a long weekend away & MIL came along too.Now MIL thinks SS is the second coming & he can do no wrong,but even she got annoyed after a whole weekend of his diva demands & DH's pathetic catering to them.Since then I told DH no more he can vacation with SS separately.Last summer they went away together for a week & DH came back looking like he had spent the week in a gulag whereas I had a lovely peaceful week at home with my furkids. DH & I are going on vacation for 2 weeks in a weeks time to an adults only resort without SS.Do I feel guilty?Not a jot,although I will miss my furkids.
That's a lot of my reason
That's a lot of my reason also for not wanting skids to come anywhere. It's all about them. When we were in Florida DH and I were leaving to take DS1 and SS16 to a surf shop and all of a sudden my nieces 7 & 10, and SS11 wanted to go shopping. We didn't have room in the car for everyone, and after some whining amongst the younger ones, DH said forget it we're leaving. (SS16, DS1, DH and myself) well guess who we walked into in one of the shops… SS11 rolls around the corner with the shit (I got my waaaay) grin on his face and said StepGrandpa took them all there. Wow. Shocker. A little whining and you got your way. Then StepGrandpa proceeds to take them to another store and buy them all extremely expensive clothing. This is after they had already just gotten all their Christmas presents. And we wonder why these brats feel so entitled?
Why my step mom and I are
Why my step mom and I are close is because we never took vacation together when I was child. My father and I took vacations together all time and he and my step mom took them together. They usually sent me a relative, which was a vacation from them.
THIS a million times.
THIS a million times.
Currently on vacation in Bali
Currently on vacation in Bali with dh,sd11,ds19,and dh's 70 year old aunty who is his surrogate mother figure. Sd11 is being an entitled defiant bitch. Never again. We holiday several times a year. Twice overseas one with the family and one just me and dh. Me and dh also travel interstate several times for short breaks on our own. I am never holidaying with my sd again ever.
We do one year with skids ,
We do one year with skids , one year me and DH only. I really do not like vacations with skids so we do something like club med where they have entertainment for skids so I don't have to deal with them during the day .
Both. Do the occassional
Both.
Do the occassional vacation sans kids, any kids, yours, his, etc...
Conversely do the occaisionall take em all with you vacation and less frequencly a take one or a couple of the kids. The situation, timing, duration, destination will dictate which format is approprate (none, some, all).
If your mom was not going to Hawaii with you I would say that taking a 1yo on a major vacation/wedding is not a good idea. If mom and DH will spell you with the baby then by all means, enjoy yourself. Just don't take advantage of the mom. That could turn out very badly.
All IMHO of course.
Vacation? What's that?
Vacation? What's that?
We do both. We plan a small
We do both. We plan a small "family" vacation, which it seem you did. Then we plan a romantic get away for just us. I told my husband when we 1st were engaged, that all though I love my SS and I do raise him as my own, we married each other therefore we must always make time for us. Without making time for us, there will be no relationship/marriage to worry about. So we have stuck with it. We take "family" vacations so long as my SS is not being a typical teenage turd and is doing well in school. Then we do a couple romantic get always as well. I really think it helps us to stay connected.
Never with SD. It's always
Never with SD. It's always just SO and I. She hates it and gets really pissed off. But she did herself in way back when she barked at him that he "better not go without her". I don't even remember where we were planning on going. She just looked at him with a shitty look and said it. Like she was boss. Now we plan romantic getaways for us as a couple. I don't feel she is owed vacations especially with her attitude.
My skid lives with us. We
My skid lives with us. We still have an entire family vacation, small trips with just us and small trips with us and our bios.