Is this unreasonable or am I being an ass?
So girl12 never puts her clothes away.
I wash them, dry them and sit them back in her room clean, she is supposed to put them away.
Yet I keep seeing "dirty" clothes that I KNOW she has not worn, coming through to be washed...
So I asked her dad to talk to her about it.
He came back to me with some cock and bull story that girl12 and his other two "NEVER LEARNED" how to put clothes away, so "WE" will have to show her how.
I called bull shit.
Boy10 hangs his clothes up just fine, and folds his clothes and puts them away. (not neatly but does it)
Girl12 is just being lazy, it is not rocket science to figure out how a hanger hangs up a shirt, and folding clothes is as simple as "halfing" things or "halfing and halfing again" things...
I told the him that he is more than welcome to "teach" the girl how to put clothes away but he is a damned fool if he is going to take that legit reason as to why she has not done it,...
I can't wait until next week, you know after he has showed her how to do it, AND THE CLOTHES ARE STILL ON THE FLOOR,... What is she going to say?
"Daddy show me again, I forgot."
Pure laziness,.... RIGHT?
Ha! My 11 year old dd likes
Ha! My 11 year old dd likes to pull this when. When I see the clean clothes reappear in the laundry room-I simply pull them out, set them aside and give them back to her to put away. If in doubt, I call it clean. As a consequence of her not liking to hang her stuff up-she will be spending one of her fall break days hanging up all of her clothing, cleaning her closed, organizing her dresser.
^^^^ yep!
^^^^ yep!
She's 12 years old! If she's
She's 12 years old! If she's old enough to start entertaining thought of boys and such, she is old enough to do her own laundry. If she already has her menstrual cycle, she is old enough to do her own laundry!
Show her how to do it once and then Stop doing her laundry for her....period! and she will learn to do it herself or she can enjoy wearing dirty clothes
You are not her servant!
Yep I also had this, SS and
Yep I also had this, SS and YSD could never be bothered. Fortunately I am now passed that stage. I imagine when you keep most of your wardrobe on the floor it's hard to tell what's clean and dirty when your pile of clean laundry has toppled over :O SS's favourite excuse for everything was that he didn't know how:
"I can't make my bed because I don't know how to get the duvet into the duvet cover" (DH was still making his bed at 14)
"I can't make the cheese sauce because I don't know how (really SS, you've been shown how to do this at least TWENTY times but you can't remember how to do it OR follow the recipe??)
Argghhghhh
Well, it also does not help
Well, it also does not help that the man of the house, my boyfriend and their dad, does not do his own laundry either, I am seriously considering disengaging at this point. There is so much I am fed up with and I feel so unappreciated.
I was just there....I know
I was just there....I know how you feel. If they don't appreciate it, stop doing things for them and let them start fending for themselves (I mean the skids)....I'm disengaging and loving it!
I still go out of my way to do things for my husband because i'm a SAHW but not for the skid...I do the bare minimum.
If you do it for them, they
If you do it for them, they will let you. I used to do DH's laundry when I was first a SAHM, after I had my second baby it was quite clear to me that I was doing enough childcare, housework and laundry without washing clothes for a fully grown adult who was taking my efforts for granted. I bought a his and hers laundry basket with 2 sections. I unveiled it to him and explained that I would no longer be laundering his clothing. He tried to suggest that we should have a discussion, I laughed and said he could discuss it all he liked but I would no longer be washing his pants. I would never expect my partner to routinely wash, dry, fold and put away MY clothes. Now it seems crazy to both of us that I ever did his laundry and he is completely independent in that department. Occasionally one of us will make up a load with some of the other persons whites or darks, we unload the drying rack as needed, but the principal that adults do their own laundry is firmly in place.
I had this too with SD19 who
I had this too with SD19 who I and DH are not on speaking terms with now. She used to try on like 8 different outfits before school and just leave them lying on the floor so I couldn't tell what was clean or what was dirty, she had a walk in type closet with shelves (when we build the room she requested just shelves to have her clothing folded on and no hanging area) anyways I used to get so pissed off because every week I had to go in there (Ok I didn't have to but it drove me nuts as I am kind of a neat freak) and I would have to refold it all because it was all over the floor in there and all messed up hanging all over the place!!! I would tell her to do it and get on her about it, finally she did it a few times (so I know she knows how to do it) but then she quit and her excuse was I just don't know how to do it, you do it so much better then me then smile like she was kissing my ass trying to get me to do it. Ugh it drove me nuts! She also out of laziness used to wipe her make up'ed hands on the carpet instead of a wash cloth (she would sit on her floor to apply her makeup in her bedroom mirror). Drove me nuts seeing that black eyeliner smeared through the BRAND NEW carpet! Ugh. She was so damn spoiled....then she turned to drugs and leads a mean and nasty towards her father and I type of life!
Close the door to her room so
Close the door to her room so it's not in your face and making you nuts.
Have her or your DH do her laundry. Stop doing it for her.
Problem solved.
PS...your DH is clueless when it comes to manipulation.
Her room does also stink,...
Her room does also stink,... AND she has her own bathroom-WHICH SHOULD BE COMMUNAL,..
But it is so gross I don't use it.
I have considered picking up everything myself and throwing it away-or donating it, but here is my problem with that:
1. my boyfriend would have a fit that I threw away or donated clothes (that's money)
2. Guess who already does the shopping for kids clothes (THIS GAL RIGHT HERE), so all I would be doing is making more work for myself.
3. What do you do if it is literally ALL of her clothes??? If I did that, there would be nothing left,... at all, and miss princess would get a whole new wardrobe,...
I see no issue with it. DH
I see no issue with it.
DH knows I make laundry rules as I am the one who does it - in fact yesterday he got pissy and I could tell he wanted to say something because all of his short socks were in the dryer but he didn't because he knows I will stop in a heartbeat.
I will fold SS clothes and put them on the dresser he is 5 and can put the up - I do handle all hanging clothes for him...UNLESS a piece is inside out it goes with the folded clothes and he must fix it before it can get hung up...he hates it but eventually I hope he'll get tired of having to fix it and fix it before it goes in the laundry.
You don't have to get rid of
You don't have to get rid of the clothes or donate them . Give her a day and time to have her room cleaned for example " I will inspect your room on Mondays and Fridays at 8 pm." At that time , gather up all clothing that is not properly hung up or put away. I used to lick it in my trunk so she couldn't get to it and have her "earn" her things back by doing extra chores such as baseboard cleaning etc.
That is IMO a way for you to be firm with reasonable expectations while giving her an opportunity to improve. Give her a time period to earn them back and if she hasn't earned it back by then, donate it .
Here is something I was
Here is something I was ticked off this past summer; SD13 spent two weeks visiting her grandparents (DH side) and so when she came back I reminded DH that he needs to make her send them a "thank you for having me" e-mail. U know few lines just to thank them for taking her places, buying her stuff etc...so she is in the living room playing on her x-box and laptop is right There on the coffee table! It would take 2 mins tops! So I remind them both "hey! Send GP a Note! They are expecting it"...so she goes on and writes something...and I hear DH say "what!? That's It!?"...and then I see Him finishing the e-mail FOR her!!! UGH! So when we were outside I ask him why did he do it for her? How will she Ever learn to express her gratitute for things people do for her? And he's like "well she can't do something she doesn't know how!"....what!?!? She can't type few sentences!?! And you could have helped her but made her do It! It was a perfect Teaching oportinity. Instead it was just easied for him to do it himself so she could continue playing her game!!! ...4o I guess same thing as with laundry...I think "I don't know how" is just pure lazines! Because if you don't know How to do something you Ask someone to help you and show you how to do it!