My SD17 moved out last week and back into BM's house. She has moved back and forth several times the past 4 years. This last time DH removed her from custodial BM because BM had been physical with her.... pretty bad stuff. BM allowed DH to remove SD17 and all her belongings. Problem was this move caused SD17 to go back to a HS where she had burned some bridges when she left last time. She returned, cried daily about hating this school, and 2 months later, BM was demanding her back. We tried to get a protective order, but because we had not reported the incident to CPS or the police, we had no legal right to keep her. BM sent SD17's grandfather to pick her up. It was a very sad day for us.

I digress.... So SD17 moved out of our house against our will. She was happy as a clam to be going back to her friends, even though, she knew she may have more issues with her BM. She only had 7 months of High School left, and she wanted to finish with her friends. (BM lives an hr away, we were unable to provide transportation back and forth every day.)

So, 6 days later, Friday, SD17 calls DH. Can he give her $20 to help pay for the sitting fee of her senior portraits? He agrees. Sat morning.... Noon (we are in the middle of big Tile project in our master bathroom, covered head to toe in grout, etc....)SD17 calls DH...."um Dad, we are running late, so can you meet us at the mall to give me the $20.....?" He says no.... we are in the middle of a project....you will have to come by. SD17 is ticked.

Same day..... she calls again... Dad, I need you to meet us, we are way late. He asks me about it.... I say..."what time is the appt?" he says.... 3:30 pm. I shake my head.... "are you kidding"? She calls at noon, has 3 1/2 hrs to her appt.... its a one hr drive, and that gives her 2 hrs to get ready and she is already pre planning she will be late, so now it is our problem?"

DH is upset... so we agree to meet her. He apologizes. It makes me feel better.

So we get to the mall. They have already called to move the appt 10 minutes to 3:40 pm... It is 3:40pm now, and they are not parked yet, let alone in the building. SD17 calls DH... can you meet me inside, because I may need more money..... he's like what???? He goes inside. BM calls SD from the parking lot while she is parking the car. "Tell him he may need to wait until the photos are taken, etc... because we may need more money...." SD17 says... "Mom....HE IS NOT GOING TO DO THAT." DH gives her $30 instead of $20 and leaves her to her appt and we drive back home to finish the project.

My issue was.... WE just had her Senior Portrait taken.... but.... apparently her new school needs a different one? 2). BM made this appt for SD without even discussing it with us, finding out how much the sitting fee was, or how much the picture will cost? And she did all this with NO MONEY? She had to ask us for partial sitting fee? Then we get there and she has NO MONEY, like we would magically cough it up at her request in a moment's notice?

Normally, helping out SD is never a problem. But, I lost my job 3 months ago.... I was the main breadwinner. We are living off our savings and DH income. (We just lost a significant income)....but have the same bills. So money is very very tight and we are almost dry now.... I am scared to death.

So every expenditure has to measured. BM knows this... but she could care less.

So.... we are waiting for the next call that says.... um it costs $140 to pick up the portrait...we didn't know that.... HELP? Apparently, the photo has to go in Monday or it will miss the year book. Our SD knew she just had her pic taken a month ago, but she hated it...so she didn't want to use it.

Day late, dollar short.... as usual. DH will want to help SD no matter what...it's her Senior Year...she will need things.... And I am supportive... but I would like some notice... I would like to be involved in these decisions, so its not so last minute!