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totally off topic-would this be inappropriate?

hismineandours's picture

Submitted by hismineandours on Fri, 08/20/2010 - 6:26pm

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General Discussion

I am a therapist. I have a ct whose son is in foster care and happens to be in my dd's 3rd grade class-in fact she sits right next to him. He is inappropriate alot-and he told her today that he is going to pick her to dance with (they do square dancing in a few weeks)-well in therapy his mom told me that her son is sexually acting out-masturbating in front of others and that he is obsessed with boobs. Now, this is probably the last person I want my dd dancing with but would it be incredibly inappropriate for me to contact the school and say I am uncomfortable with her having that close of contact with this boy?

iwishyouwould's picture

Submitted by iwishyouwould on Fri, 08/20/2010 - 9:22pm

Isn't sexual 'acting out' of any kind at that age a red flag that the child is being sexually abused?

hismineandours's picture

Submitted by hismineandours on Sat, 08/21/2010 - 9:26am

Yes-it is-the child has repoertedly been sexually abused in the past. My dd is VERY loud and very assertive I just hate it that she sits right next to him

poisonivy's picture

Submitted by poisonivy on Sat, 08/21/2010 - 9:50am

I would invite him over to the house for a nice meal and while cleaning my hunting rifle, remind him how important boundaries are and how much I love me daughter and how I'd do anything to protect her. }:) }:) }:)

Persephone's picture

Submitted by Persephone on Sat, 08/21/2010 - 10:40am

Hmmmm, long ponder. I guess the bright side is that at least you KNOW that this child has been a victim of abuse and is seeking help. How many of us parents are not loaded with this privileged information?

Educate your child---as we all should. Would it make you feel better if he square dances with another girl--not in the no? (probably not.) Should he be ostracized from this? IMO, that's re-victimizing. Perhaps you can guide this behavior some way(????)

iwishyouwould's picture

Submitted by iwishyouwould on Sat, 08/21/2010 - 1:56pm

I dont think there is much you can do. If you do or say anything at all, you will be breaking confidentiality and might lose your liscense to practice. The poor kid has been tortured... teach your daughter kindness, personal boundaries and what to do if someone touches her inappropriately (without mentioning anyone in particular)... and thats all you can do. Thats all any of us can do.

hismineandours's picture

Submitted by hismineandours on Sat, 08/21/2010 - 4:12pm

Oh I would never say anything specific about what I know or how I know it-I could easily base my desire to not have her sit/dance with him on the things that she has reported that he has said to her.