tickets for two
I have a question, and I won't influence your answers in anyway by telling you how I felt about this or what I think. I just want the opinion of steps like me. What if this happened to you??
My BF has season tickets (two seats) for football, a very popular team where tickets are always sold out. We always go together. We love it. It is our thing. He was never one of those guys who invited other guys or ever seemed to consider it. He invited me from the moment we started dating and it was mutual fun for years. Welllllll, now skid is 12, and BF has decided its time to start making a man out of him (yeah, good luck). Anyway, I didn't look at the schedule that closely, and didn't realize a game was coming up. I asked BF innocently one night what activities he had planned for the week. He says, "oh, there's a game." At first, I was confused. He then informed me that the first football game of the season was that week. BUT, I realized quickly that we had skid that week, and he always made the schedule so we wouldn't have skid when there was a football game so we could party before, enjoy the game and have fun after. So I ask "uhhh, are you going?" And he says gruffly "Oh course I am going." Then it hits me and I say, "are you taking skid?" (remember, only two tickets) He again gruffly replies "duh, I am not leaving him sitting at home." It then comes out that he has arranged to attend the future games of the season with skid...all weekend games...all of which involve pre-game and post-game fun and end up taking the whole day. So, without telling you how I feel about this, I really want to hear how you would feel and handle this....try to imagine that you really like football (although it wasn't even the football that I liked so much as hanging with my guy having carefree fun). We have so few chances for carefree fun with skid and work schedules.
Ouch. That hurts. If this
Ouch. That hurts.
If this were me, my feelings would definitely be hurt. DH do a lot of sporting activities for "fun."
Now, trying to be objective, he's a guy. Maybe he thought you didn't really enjoy it? Maybe he thought you were a good "place holder" until SS was old enough to go?
I have a feeling he's thinking something totally different than what you're thinking.
Did you talk to him about this? Maybe you guys can alternate games?
ok Im laughing...sorry but
ok Im laughing...sorry but your thoughts did come through on this post....I know exactly how you feel....
been sort of in this situation
Darling...look....the BM would have suggested this to your man FOR SURE!
I can hear her now....'blah blah, you never do anything for your son...wen was the last time you took him to the football rah rah'
Ide be fuming...Ide be taking the whole thing very personally but I dont exactly know how to fix it...
Ill get back to yah....
when my DH did something similiar...i pissed off to a hotel with my sister for the weekend in Virginia beach...Dh called often and I could tell he wasnt having a very good time at all...ended up he hurt his knee and them bloody boys of his really pissed him off.
I do love football! I've had
I do love football! I've had season tickets
since the 1980s. I've had health problems, so I haven't gone to a game in a long time, but I do know how much fun they are!
The fact that he made a unilateral decision about this would upset me most of all. He should have approached you and said, "Hey, I'd like to take SS to some games, how do you feel about that". He should split them up so you all get to go to some games.
I would certainly tell him how I feel. You've gone long enough that he knows you like to go. If you're hurt about it, tell him. Maybe he's just being a dumb man. I'm wondering if SS is even going to want to go to all the games. My DH took his son to one game..he was around 11..they enjoyed it but SS wouldn't want to go to every one. This is a tough one. I can't think of anything else to do except tell him how you feel. Then the ball is in his court.
Have you considered taking a separate car and going with them to tailgate? Maybe take a friend with you..then you could go somewhere and watch the game or go shopping or whatever you like to do. Good luck. I'll be watching to see what happens.
I'd understand if he wanted
I'd understand if he wanted to take him to some games but being completely left in the dark about it would bother me, especially since it sounds like you won't be going to any of them. I'd suggest alternating, and then maybe sometimes, you and SS could go and leave DH at home
Liks, you make an excellent
Liks, you make an excellent point that I hadn't even considered. BM lives to control my BF, and she is a total hypocrite. At the same time she does anything to get rid of her kid on her weekend, she literally curses my BF out for being 5 minutes late to pick him up. I can totally see her getting word that BF was taking me to games instead of skid. She would be jealous and turn it around into something about the skid. I can just hear her curse-laden tirade now. You are exactly right too "'blah blah, you never do anything for your son." All she has to do is tell him that he is a bad father and he buys it every time. Hmmmm, I am just going to come out and ask him is she said something. Thank you. It is entirely possible. I don't know what is worse, that that bitch still has his ear (and his nuts) or that I was just a place holder until the skid was old enough as OiVey mentioned.
I've been in your shoes and
I've been in your shoes and it hurts like hell. It even came up in marriage counseling. The counselor said couples need at least one unique "thing" they share exclusively. After my exH tarnished "our thing" he was assigned by the counselor to come up with something new for us to share.
I can see why he'd want to share FB with his son - it's pretty much every father's fantasy. But, he should not have uninvited you without discussing it with you. I'm guessing he didn't have the courage to be upfront about it. Men.
I would be very upset. One
I would be very upset. One thing would be for him to talk to you about wanting to do this ( and even that could be upsetting if it isn't mutually agreed on) and another is to just go ahead and leave you out. The whole "making a man" thing is a little weird too, but that may just be me. So what happens when you let him know that you are not at all ok with this single handed decision of his?
{{{{{Hugs}}}}}
{{{{{Hugs}}}}}
On a positive note, because
On a positive note, because it takes so much time to go to the pre-game, game and post-game fun, they'll be gone for a LONG time...yipee! So before you hardly had time to yourself...now, you will have EOW to hang out with your girlfriends while skid is there, heck, if it was me I would wait until the one day they are actually home to hang out with my girlfriends and spend the day they are out together pampering myself at home...
ANNNND the next weekend, you have your DH all to yourself! What a deal!
herewegoagain, that is an
herewegoagain, that is an awesome perspective!!
you know what??? I would go
you know what???
I would go one betta....throw a party!!!
While them two are doing their boring freezing male bonding thing.....you plan a party at your house....make it a routine thing when eva the the football is on...
invite all your friends...boys and girls...come round and watch the football with me....then get the music cranked up, drink a bucket load of piss/liquor and just get so shit faced you dont even know what time it is...or notice they got home....
yeeeehaaaaa (throw a few bras and panties off the light bulbs, chandellers, get a few mens ties to hang off the door knobs...go for broke...)
make sure there is lots of mess to clean up the next day also, and that you have such a hangover that only he can clean it up...
Then say....(i only invited a few over for a chat and to watch the game, cos I was a bit lonely being at home by myself....I guess Im just so used to u being around stoppin me from drinking too much...Im sorry...) then flatter your eyelids...
I would expect that should stick it up his arse! men piss me off so much when they do this....
oh - maybe you could invite the exbitch around - hahaha - get her shit faced too.....
dont let him go to the game feeling glad your comfortable with what he is doing by going to a spa or doing girlie stuff...no...say nothing...just tell him youll just stay at home, do a bit of house work, mend a few sox, bake a sponge cake...maybe youll even prepare a special suprise for him and his darling little boy for when they get home...then baby...go crazy!!!!!
my bf has 2 season tickets to
my bf has 2 season tickets to our local nfl team- we go to every home game together. his son is only 8 and he would never take him. when he gets older, perhaps. i would be okay with taking skid to a couple games but those tickets are for the 2 of you to get away, spend time together and have fun. it is not okay to just keep you in the dark and plan to take skid- especially when it became your "thing" to do together. i would be livid.