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Three's a crowd on vacation?

caitlinj's picture

My bf is wanting to take me on a weekend getaway but here's the catch......for his mothers bday he also wants to take her on a trip too to visit a location she's been wanting to visit and also to take her to a show she's never been to. He's invited me along and wants it to be me, his mother and him (seperate rooms of course) and kill two birds in one stone. I like his mom but it seems a little weird she is going and I have mixed feeligns about going now. What to do?

notarelative's picture

BF is not wanting to take you on a weekend getaway. He's wanting to take you along on a trip for his mother. You are the third wheel on this trip.

If you go, and stay with this guy, plan on future trips to include his mom.

 

twoviewpoints's picture

This offer of vacation doesn't also maybe incude you helping spilt expenses, does it? 

marblefawn's picture

I can't blame him for wanting to kill two birds with one stone. Sometimes I have to do this too with my own mother -- there are only so many free hours. The way to look at it is a weekend getaway with your boyfriend and his mom -- not a couples thing. I think if you want to go, go, knowing it won't be a couples trip. But if you don't, you have every right to say no. Tell him you'd rather have a weekend getaway that's family free.

Now is a good time to figure out how these things would be handled in the future!

newwtostepguy's picture

Eh......id sit this one out. Although I can understand trying to kill two birds with one stone it doesn’t sound like a couples weekend getaway. It sounds like him and his moms getaway with you as the third wheel. It’s nice to do things for your mom but eventually grown men have to cut the chord and weekend getaway with mom sounds a bit much for a grown adult male who is in a relationship. It would be better if he took him mom to a nice dinner, got her a nice gift like a spa certificate for herself. That would be more appropriate and a little less odd. 

notsobad's picture

I guess it’s in the way he put it and if this is the only trip he can afford.

We've taken trips with MIL and it’s been fun, I’ve gotten to know her much better and it’s strengthened our relationship. Which is good.

However, DH and I still take trips away together, alone as well.

If this is the only trip he can afford to take this year, I might let him and his Mom enjoy their time together and pass. 

Survivingstephell's picture

Rooms at the OPPOSITE ends of the hotel.  That way you can enjoy your night without worrying about being heard.  

still learning's picture

It's not a getaway if he's taking mommy along.  Doesn't it make you feel nice that you're just a bird to be killed with his cheapskate stone?  

momjeans's picture

I wouldn’t engage in this.

I’ve been on a few “vacations” with MIL and they’ve never turned out well. She always ends up throwing a tantrum of prepubescent level proportions and then I hate myself forever for agreeing to go in the first place. 

justmakingthebest's picture

So, I get the only being able to afford one trip. Vacation time from work is another factor that he is probably keeping in mind. How well do you and his mom get along? I adore my MIL and would have no problems with this- especially if she brought a friend. That way there is no third wheel. Sure not a romantic trip, but a fun one and I am sure if her and a friend were off doing something, you guys could slip in a few dates along the way.