There goes the light...
I just posted recently about finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. The light is now out. http://www.steptalk.org/node/68854
Perhaps he "saw the light" because he didn't want to argue anymore. Maybe because I had this incredulous look of "you don't really believe what you are saying," on my face.
Tonight bf asked if *I* would be attending bd8's party. We had just arrived at my place after eating out w/ my kids and I was practically passed out on the couch, but I got out a "no" and heard him mumble something before I literally passed out asleep. Now he is pouting.
Here's the reality.
I still don't know when or where the party is going to be. When girl8 and siblings are picked up girl8 will pick what SHE wants to do for her bday. Apparently, I'm supposed to jump to it when he finds out what that is...
I am a full time mom; homeschooling; work from home; cut my grass/yardwork/clean, etc. by myself; almost every night of the week, I'm driving a kid somewhere; my exh does not have a regular schedule with our kids, so I'm pretty much a 24/7 parent unless I'm surprised with his presence (which he often cancels on).
Does bf really think that I want to spend MY time, after I finally get away from my own kids for the first time in about 3 weeks, with him and his kids? The same kids I TOLD him I would avoid if the girl7 didn't stop talking like a baby? I mean, I have TOLD him I want minimal contact with the kids due to numerous issues with the exw and court drama that I want to stay out of. Did he not believe me? Because his kids are so awesome and all?
OMG I'm making all these lists in my head of the things I can do and get done this weekend that I have all to myself, and her bday is not even CLOSE to being on that list!
NOT TO MENTION, he and I already decided that we would bring our presents to her when he has them Tuesday bc my bd wants to see her open them.
Nothing will ever be good enough.
That's the problem...I just
That's the problem...I just can't get him to understand it. He even sees it! But he works SO HARD at work, blah blah blah. He doesn't get that when he is done with 8 hours, he is done. He comments on how much I do, but the fact is that it doesn't matter if it comes to his kids. The world stops for them.
If it weren't for both sets of kids, we would have a normal relationship. But with the kids in the picture, we just can't. He has allowed his exw to control so much of him and his time w/ the kids and refuses to stand up to her or do what he needs to do in court. Plus, it's the classic guilty daddy who only has them so many days, so he has to make their world perfect for the time that he has them. With the ex drama and the parenting differences, I finally had enough. I don't need HIS stress on top of everything! I am totally fine with him having minimal contact with my kids. I've already told him I am fine with us "just" dating when the kids aren't around. The problem is, he is over here a LOT, so he sits around watching me work my ass off, or naps, and if he does ANYTHING for my kids during that time, apparently I have to reciprocate with his...even though I become 2nd rate the second his kids are with him.
Well, the good thing is...I'm
Well, the good thing is...I'm not married to him. I have pretty much disengaged from his kids and I guess he doesn't like it. Perhaps he still has the "one big happy family" image in his head and he couldn't make it work with his exw so he wants to force it with someone else. He just does not get how much I feel pulled in 5 different directions almost every.waking.hour. I literally can't remember the last time I had a weekend to myself. Do men get it, ever?