successfully disengaged yesterday
I decided to really, truly disengage from SD13. it was time. she was really starting to come between us and i harbor to much anger regarding the "settlement" that was reached and violated 2 days later by BM and SD.
Fiance had SD for the day yesterday (after an insane 1 hour+ sh*t show involving the police due to SD once again trying to dictate the parenting plan). I told Fiance that I was doing my own thing for the day. I had my morning coffee in our room and read a magazine. I was able to have most of it before they returned given that what should have been a 15 minute round trip to get SD turned into 75 minutes. When fiance returned home i made him get me my last cup of coffee and bring me my purse, coat and shoes. I wanted to be able to simply walk out the front door and not look at or talk to SD as i was in no mood for her crap after what she pulled that morning.
My fiance complied. we said goodbye and he asked one more time for me to spend the day with them. i said no and he said ok. I knew they were going to see his dad who i love, but it pains me to see SD be fake nice to him only because he gives her money.
I drove up the coast and had a glorious day walking the beach, lunching at my favorite clam shack, and basically enjoying freedom. it felt great to be alone and i didnt give SD a passing thought.
Fiance said he understands my need to do this...and i was in the best mood ive been in for a long time when i returned home and i know he saw it. I feel like i finally have his support in this.
The incident (too much to detail) yesterday morning i think really opened his eyes and BM's eyes to a lot regarding SD. Apprently BM actually yelled at SD and took my fiance's side which was HUGE. I dont think BM has ever yelled at or discplined her child. Ever. The cops were even angry at/stern with my SD, and my fiance said she looked like she crapped her pants she was so afraid.
I think i can do this especially for the weekday visits. Weekends are still so up in the air that who knows if she'll be around or not. but i have two weeks to worry about a weekend.