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Stress Related?

IAmALady77's picture

Hello again, still pretty new here but I've really appreciated all of your advice so far so I figured I would go ahead and ask for a bit more?...

So a month ago, I woke up at about 2am with my heart racing, I found I couldnt breath and my fingers were tingling. I woke up DH and told him to take me to the emergency room because this had never happened to me before and I was seriously freaked out! On the way to the ER my vision started going blurry I still couldn't breath and all of a sudden my entire body was numb! Like I could NOT feel anything and my hands seized up into claws. I thought I was having a STROKE....mind you I am only 22 so this seemed impossible but still terrifying.
Anyway the doctor in the ER told me I had just had my first panic attack, he put me on oxygen had me lay down for a few hours, gave me a xanax and sent me home.
He told me that my depression had taken a turn for the worse and was manifesting itself into physical symptoms resulting in these panic attacks. He also said that this sudden thing was brought on by STRESS.

Obviously I have alot of stress with dealing with BMs antics plus life in general so what I was wondering is if anyone else gets panic attacks brought on by stress? Or any other health problems brought on by stress that wouldnt otherwise be there if not for the craziness that comes with BMs ? I am just so tired and all I want to do is be peaceful and calm and forgiving...its just really hard to do when I want to scream in her face that she needs to stop! She is literally killing me. ugh. Sad

ps...please dont say to run away or get out of the relationship because that will never happen. I love DH and SD very dearly and would never think to leave just because I can't handle the stress...just looking for advice on how to actually deal and feel better.

bestwife's picture

No you don't have to leave.

One of the things that made me feel better was to let warthog have it. Just a couple of sentences in a text but she has left us alone for months since then.

You do not have to put up with her being a total ass and just sit and take it. Call her out on it. It will relieve some of that stress.

IAmALady77's picture

Thanks, I would like to but I'll have to wait until June 17th to do so, because she has a ppo against me for Violent Stalking....because I allegedly sent her over 200 txt messages threatening her life and her daughter....this did not happen, I have texted her once to tell her she was being unreasonable in an argument with DH. anyway on second thought maybe I shouldnt let her have it lol but thank you Smile

HadEnoughx5's picture

I too have anxiety from situations with BM. When it gets really bad, I've taken medication, like xanax.

But I think mostly you have to look at things from a psychological view with BM, I know I do.

Your BM is probably extremely jealous that your Dh moved on and now see's her xh and daughter in a "new family" with you. You have something she no longer has. Her daughter may be coming home and talking with her mom about what she did with her dad and sm. So you are the target.

I look at my BM as pathetic. She is working hard on alienating her children from my Dh, she is narcisistic, insecure, a gold digger and whore.

My Dh is happier with me and this causes her to lash out.

If the stress gets bad, journal your feelings, read stepmonster, get out and walk, exercise.

Also, document everything she does. I did and it came back to bite her in the ass in court.

Don't let her know that she's getting to you and don't change who you are, because that is your best revenge to BM.

Hang in there!

emotionaly beat up's picture

Firstly Panic Attacks are horrible. I have them mildy, but my best friend and my sister in law have to take medication for them and I have been on the other end of the phone as well as have to get out of my bed in the middle of the night to go to my girlfriends house when she was having one, so I know how awful they are and I am very sorry for you. On the positive side I think it helps to know millions of others suffer them as well, so you are not going insane Smile

The doctor is right if you have even mild anxiety and you are put under stress, it can turn into a full blown panic attack.

If medication is the answer for you, then by all means use it, but if you can manage the panic attacks without medication that of course would be better, but that all depends on you and how you feel you are coping with them.

May I suggest when you begin to feel a little anxious, try just deep slow breathing, assure yourself that this will pass, because it will, just as your full blown panic attack passed the beginnings of them can pass also without too much incident if you catch yourself falling into one, get outside and get some cold air, breath into a paper bag if you have to, just slow deep breaths, but the important thing is to catch it early. However, if they continue and you cannot cope with just the thought of having another one, then maybe medication is the answer.

In short, they are pretty normal these days, most of us are under pressure. When you think of it back in Grandma and Great Grandma's day these things were around but not as common. I think the slower pace of life helped out there, we push a button and the machine does the washing while we mull over our problems in our head, Granny may have mulled over her problems, but she was physically doing the washing and relieving her stress at the same time, and by the end of the day Granny was physically exhausted, beating that carpet with a stick was hard yakka, so Granny fell asleep at night easily, while we lie awake and worry.

So, try and get a good brisk walk for yourself everyday, just getting some good physical exercise, even half an hour of getting your hear rate up there can be very beneficial for stress relief, if you can release some of the stress, you can lessen the frequency and intensity of the panic attacks.

MOST IMPORTANT RULE OF PANIC ATTACKS - Do not worry about when the next one will come, just know the first one past and if you have any more, they will pass too Smile They always do.