SS13 getting "home school", OMG!
Wow - gonna just watch this parenting fail unfold. BM called DH last week and told him that the principal at SS13's school called her into his office to recommend that SS13 get home schooled. This is a lie - we found out from SS13 that BM actually went to the principal to see if he'd allow home schooling, but whatever. It is still the worst idea ever and DH is letting it happen.
SS13 is definately smart, but he has some wierd issues. No friends (except for a few girls), no social life at all, no outside activities, and completely plays BM. He has been off the crazy medications that she had him on for almost six months (I cancelled his insurance on my policy and she refuses to enroll him on hers) and is the most stable emotionally and happy that I have ever seen him. However, literally all he does is lay on the couch, watch TV, and play on the computer. No joke, he doens't do anything else and when you ask him to come over from BM's or do something with us at our house, he says he doesn't feel good or he is tired.
He was getting straight F's last semester in junior high - I guess he is doing a bit better now, but definately NOT a motivated student or motivated to do anything really. Of course this kid wants to stay at home. So he can lay on the couch all day. This is the LAST kid that you would want on home schooling - especially since BM works from 9 to 3 during the week. There will be no one around to monitor him or make sure he is doing any work. All I can say, is that he isn't living here when he turns 18. He can live with BM his entire adult life because she is setting him up to be an uneducated lazy loser.
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Like watching a train wreck
Like watching a train wreck in slow mo. With all the porn on the internet, even motivation to find a girlfriend won't save him. It's not like he's the first to go down this road.
OMG. The schools around here
OMG. The schools around here (that I know of) would not allow home schooling unless there is a documented medical reason. Happens all the time for mono cases, and other illnesses. But, I have heard that kids are getting permission to be home schooled due to social disorders/anxiety. The goal, however, is to get them help and counseling, so they can be reintroduced to school. If a doctor recommends it, the school has to provide it, though. I understand every circumstance is different, but I think it is really hurting kids by allowing them to be completely sheltered. If your SS was home schooled properly by a parent, that is different. But, this does not sound like a good long term plan at all. How long do they want him to do this?
My heart breaks for your SS. He will not be able to cope with the real world. He will be living on BM's couch when he turns 18. My DH's kids are young adults, and they are still home with BM. It is a disaster, because 2 of them have never worked at all. They play video games 20 hours a day. They did attend public school, but often missed days, and were placed in behavioral classes because they were so defiant.
Agreed - there is no time
Agreed - there is no time limit placed on SS13's home schooling and BM is an uneducated, lazy hag who didn't have the "time" to help SS13 with school work when he was actually in school, let alone home schooling.
Last year BM tried to use the home schooling offer to get SS13 to agree to move to another town and so she could live with her BF at the time (who was absolutely DISGUSTING). She really puts her kids education and well being first (snort).
Apparently, DH has SS13 today since he is being home schooled and is keeping him with him at his job site. BM let DH know that we need to have SS13 more than two weekends a month. Great - we'll change the visitation order next time we are at court
When BM has your SS living on
When BM has your SS living on her couch at 40 years old, she can thank herself. Seriously, I do not see my DH's kids ever leaving BM's house. That is really the only concern I have. They all live with her aunt, and if something happens, I don't know how they would keep the house going. They are not coming here. I think our BM is finally seeing how badly she raised them. She wants them out now, when she spent their entire lives growing up telling them they could do whatever they wanted.
What the heck is your SS going to do? OMG. This is really bad. I feel for you. I hope your DH realizes this is bad....very bad.
from what i've seen, home
from what i've seen, home schooling is a great "tool" for non-parenting. mom gets to lay in bed and not worry about getting the kid up for school. it also allows the kid to become a shut in (for those with computers) and anti-social. don't know why they even allow it except in cases of illness or the highly gifted.
LOL! That is exactly whats
LOL! That is exactly whats going on here. SS13 is always "sick" and doesn't want to go to school. BM has been hitting the bottle pretty hard and staying up until 2 am posting on Pinterest and Facebook so she is tired of getting him to school on time (she doesn't have to be at work until 9). Now she can try to get US to have him 50% of the time since he doesn't have school and doesn't have to wake up in the mornings :sick:
When something isn't working
When something isn't working then one has to try something different doesn't one?
The kid is smart, maybe so smart that school is totally boring. This is not to say that Mommy is up to the task but its apparent the current approach isn't working either.
Home schooling doesn't just set the kid and parent free, the child has to show progress or the school system will take him back under wing. Let pray this kid does better and Mom is actually going to be up to the task.
Personally I'd consider a military school or the like and if home schooling fails perhaps Daddy can step in and do just that. If Mommy objects I would hope that the courts would be willing to give custody to Daddy so he can do just that. Consider reminding your husband of this option. Plant the seed now and see how things unfold for the rest of the school year.
I would say the "something
I would say the "something different" could be turning off the TV until grades improve and school work is done. Its not rocket science why this kid is doing so poorly. He isn't a genius by any means, but he isn't stupid either. There isn't any reason for him to be doing so poorly except that BM is lazy and doesn't parent. It's easier to give in, then to postpone drinking, smoking, going out with girlfriends, dropping the kids off at various relatives for weekend long "dates", and her all important work with the Sierra Club (lol).
Lots of misinformation here
Lots of misinformation here about homeschooling. No one in ANY state has to get permission from any school to homeschool. ANYONE can withdraw a child and homeschool. The requirements necessary to continue homeschooling vary in each state. Some have no requirements once you notify the state that you are homeschooling. Others require some record keeping, attendance, and even standardized tests. The state I live in requires no documentation at all, and there is no follow up to see how kids are doing.
In this situation, it's very possible that this kid is doing just as well at home as he was doing at school. Shocking, I know. You would be surprised at what kids DON'T learn at school. A typical person, when given the opportunity, will learn what they are interested in when they are not forced to learn it. Most kids do the work at school for the grade, but don't really learn what they are studying. He is going to need some guidance at some point, but I think there is too much emphasis being put on schools and how "awesome" they are, when everyone knows our schools are NOT doing well. If someone can find something the boy is interested in, things will change for him. He needs to be exposed to things so he can FIND something to turn on that switch.
In my area, if you are going
In my area, if you are going to have teachers from your school district home school your child, you have to have documentation from your doctor. The district provides certified teachers at no cost to the parent once all the paperwork is provided and processed. If you yourself are going to provide home-schooling....I am not sure what is needed, but it is different than if school teachers/tutors are coming to the house. I have seen kids provided with school tutors for months, but that was only after they were registered and then showed documentation of illness/injury itself. If the OP's DH and BM want teachers (provided from the school) to come to the house, then they are most likely going to have to show some kind of proof that the kid needs to be schooled at home.
And I agree with your entire second paragraph!
"Everything I needed to know
"Everything I needed to know in life I learned in kindergarten" I forgot who said that.
Admittedly it would be difficult to become a master welder without help but its possible. Einstein could never figure out how to balance his checkbook. Many emminently successful and honored people do poorly in school.
She's heavy into the Sierra Club eh, well she can teach him to hug trees so not all is lost. I agree the kid is probably going to get worse but until Daddy steps in all you can do is watch. Which brings me to this - be careful of what you wish for you just might gt it - and Daddy will take the kid into his home and try and straighten him out.
Heavy into Sierra Club (lol)
Heavy into Sierra Club (lol) - no. Heavily into "volunteering" to meet a man to save her even though she has yet to find one in the past three years that will put up with her for more than 6 months.
Some kids can handle not having structure. I had home schooling from 16 to 17 and graduated early, went straight to college and got a masters degree. However, I went into college not even knowing basic algebra because I couldn't teach it to myself. I was super motivated though. This kid is NOT motivated. I have been bugging DH since we got together to find something to get SS13 involved in. I bought him a guitar when he expressed interest, have offered to get him involved at the stables (my horse is boarded in walking distance from his house), and tried to get him to think of what might be interesting to him. Nothing. Beside, BM would have to drive him to any classes we signed him up for and she won't drive him across town.
She'll never let him have the kid permanently because that would mean an end to child support which she needs to live on, but she is already angling for us to take him more now that he doesn't go to school. Fine by me though as long as he continues to behave civilly and we get it formally changed in the courts. I bet I could do a much better job with him then she could.