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Some advice for ya

classyNJ's picture

When you know the grades are being published and your driving up your lonnngggg horseshoe driveway and see your SO sitting on the stoop with his head in his hands ~~~~~~ KEEP DRIVING !!!!!

This kid is going to be the death of him!

Aniki's picture

Crikey! I'd pull out my cell phone and pretend to be having a conversation with Snow Miser as I strolled past DH and into the house. :O

classyNJ's picture

It wouldn't have mattered. He comes in eventually LOL

I told him next time just jump in the car with me and we will head off into the sunset and forget he has kids for an hour or two. Biggrin

Thumper's picture

oh noooooo...yup keep driving. LOL

How old is the little person with the grade issue?

classyNJ's picture

SS15. And all attitude! He was so sweet until 6 months ago. The change was so quick we were caught off guard

Myss.Tique D'Off's picture

Sounds like you are talking about my SS's grades. He is failing ALL of his classes in his final school year. It is not so bad because Daddeee will save this situation in my case: he will find a way to reward his son for it.

Keep driving?? Oh yes. Good advice!

classyNJ's picture

SS15 is smart, in fact he thinks he is smarter than us Wink But he is lazy. Just doesn't do the homework. The most baffling part is that he knows SO asks him every day if he has homework and he always answers "I did but I did it on the bus, etc. etc." and he knows SO checks the parent portal every week. SS15 always comes up with an excuse.

bearcub25's picture

Same with my gsonstb15. Just won't do his honework. We can check the school portal but some teachers don't update and when they do, its too late for him to do it.

I told him to text himself or his Mom or me what his homework is...doesn't do it. Told him to put it in his phone calendar...doesn't do ti. IDK what to do for him anymore.

bearcub25's picture

Same with my gsonstb15. Just won't do his honework. We can check the school portal but some teachers don't update and when they do, its too late for him to do it.

I told him to text himself or his Mom or me what his homework is...doesn't do it. Told him to put it in his phone calendar...doesn't do ti. IDK what to do for him anymore.

secret's picture

We get an email from the teacher for incomplete homework.

The kids get specific privileges taken away, for a week the first time... 2 weeks the second time... 3 weeks the 3rd time... and until the end of the school year if it happens again.

Unless it's something that couldn't have been prevented. My kids' school bus came early last week... they were getting ready to head out the door, packing their stuff.... the oldest saw the bus down the road... they all panicked and grabbed their stuff and headed out. My youngest left her binder on the kitchen counter, along with her lunch, when she grabbed her stuff and ran out the door.

They ran for the bus... I was home, I'd have driven them... but they got on the bus. I texted my youngest about her lunch, saying I'd bring it and her binder to her for 10am... but I'd already received the Incomplete Homework email, citing Disorganization as "reason". I did reply to the teacher explaining the situation, and that I'd brought it to her, she'd drop it by his class later that day. It was wiped from her "record", but still.

classyNJ's picture

SO spoke to two teachers last night, two today, his guidance counselor and his baseball coach.

His coach called him into office and let him know that in agreement with SO if any of his grades drop below 90 as of two weeks he is off the team. He is their starting pitcher. We are hoping that will kick him in gear.

SO has taken his phone so many times the kid just doesn't care about that.

Acratopotes's picture

ah the joys of turning 15.... now you are an adult and they can't tell you what to do, Oh and you have your eye on this one girl and you are sort of dating, and you got to kiss her with tongue behind the bleachers, and feel her boob... hell you are the man an no one can tell you what to do..

what do adults know, you are one yourself and times have changed, those foreign ancient people in your life only wants to ruin your life, the have no clue what it is to be 15, horny and in love, and school. pffft why do we need school, it's a waste of time, I can use my time much better on my cell phone and chat with friends, hell if I want to know something I can google it, I don't have to go to school,

what... you are telling me money does not grow on treas, I know that stupid, I snap my fingers and it jumps from the fossils wallet into my hands, why the hell do you think I need a job... check out this .. *fingers snapping* nothing happens.. let me have a tantrum and slam my door and ignore them, they will cave and hand me money cause I'm the Man..

there you go, exactly what's going on in your SS brain... and this will not change till you force him to find a job and work and stop handing him money and perks... funny they learn quickly lol

strugglingSM's picture

Maybe your SO should just be like BM and insist that the child be allowed to switch teachers if they have a bad grade. It's not the kid's fault after all...only a terrible and mean teacher would expect a kid to complete all of their work!

One SS had a D and a C last term - mostly due to missing work or not following directions on the work he handed in, but also do to behavior issues. BM insisted that it was the teachers' fault and he needed new classes, so term 2, he has 4 new teachers. He now has a C in language arts class where the teacher is supposed to be more capable of helping him (he did have a D, so I guess that's an improvement). His new classes included social studies taught by the previous language arts teacher. He had an F in that class and missing assignments, but now on the portal those are all marked "missing - no count" , so it looks like he has an A. No doubt to keep BM happy.

The kid does have learning challenges, but he also misbehaves in class (last term he had a B- in his extra reading class with the note "student's behavior is negatively affecting his grade" and "student needs to learn to use his time better to get his work done") and doesn't do all of his assignments. No matter to BM, because it's never the child's fault. Two years ago, DH wanted him to get extra reading help over the summer (because he was reading at a 2nd or 3rd grade level in the 5th grade). BM said, "that would be punishment" and then told the kid, "your dad thinks you're not smart".

I figure no amount of guidance I give can make up for a compete lack of expectations with BM (who is the CP), so I, too, have disengaged from SSs' education. If they both want to fail, they can go ahead...they aren't my kids!

classyNJ's picture

I really don't want to see SS fail. I want him to get out and go off to college. If he fails, I will be moving out until he leaves the house.

BM has no idea about his grades or anything else for that matter. Doesn't care to even ask.

strugglingSM's picture

SSs don't live with us. I think deep down, DH wants both kids to try hard and behave in school, but there's only so much you can do EOWE and by phone (especially when the kids don't answer their phones). Also, BM loves to tell him how the kids feel bad when he tells them that doing their homework is an expectation and he expects them to get As and Bs in school, so now he's too scared to say anything to them for fear that they will stop coming to our house entirely.

BM knows enough about grades to try to remove obstacles. She switched one kid in the middle of the year in 3rd grade, switched the other one in the middle of the year in 4th grade, said it was a "misunderstanding" between her and the teacher that one didn't hand in any homework in 5th grade, and just switched the other into all new classes second term in 6th grade after he got a D because he didn't hand in at least 4 assignments and then failed two assessments.

I don't want them to fail, either, but I can't overcome BM enabling laziness. They think that grades just happen to them and if you get a bad grade, it's because the teacher is mean and doesn't like you.