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Should I give BM our new home number???

lastchance's picture

DH doesn't have a cell phone. The only phone we've had for a while now has been my cell phone. This is the number that BM has had to get a hold of us. For the past 3 months, we haven't heard much of anything from BM, because she and I got into it (she called DH names, I got angry, called her a whore because she is one yadda yadda...)

Prior to this incident, the only time BM 'contacted' us, was to ask about money. Never was it to tell us how SD was or for SD to talk to DH. We'd call her several times before actually getting to speak to SD. She never ever called us. She always only text messaged.

My dilemma is that we have recently gotten a home phone. Normal land line phone, no long distance. Do I give this number to BM? DH hasn't said ANYTHING about giving the number to her. Frankly, he hasn't said anything about calling SD at all either, so hasn't spoken to her in months. Do I just let it go and wait until he brings it up? Or do I send the bio-bitch a text telling her that if she wants to talk to DH, she can call such and such number?

I don't know what the "right" thing is to do in this situation. I know that I hate BM and wish she'd fall off the face of the earth.

lastchance's picture

That's what I'm leaning towards. Think I should send her a message telling her that she can feel free to call my cell if she needs to talk to DH, that I won't answer and if he's not around it will just go to VM? I don't want to take any blame whatsoever in her not being able to contact DH.

momoutofhermind2's picture

I would do what your saying, but I would NOT give her the land line. If you sent her a text and told her to call the landline number w/out telling DH, he would be HOT. He probably doesn't wanna deal with her drama and that is the reason for the no call to SD, even though it's not fair to her, but BM's that are difficult are easier to ignore then confront.

Your situation is like my brothers. His GF doesn't get along with his son's BM. She was their in-between person for a while b/c my brother refused to give her his new number. His GF's remained the same so she just used that one, until they got into it. Now she doens't call and whenever my brother does, she ignores it. She wont let my brother see his son until she gets HIS number b/c she don't wanna deal with GF. It's all a control thing with her and most of the BM's. They hate not being able to control a part of what used to be their life. They are no longer there and another person is and they can't take it. So it's either give me your number so I can stalk you 90x's a day or whenever I want or you don't get to see your son. She will just call both lines when she is mad so don't do it.

If you offer what your saying then at least your putting it out there for her. Even if you told her you had a landline, she could still think you would pick it up and not call anyway then it would just be 2 #'s that she could get ahold of you. If she doesn't use it then that's fine, but your being the bigger person here and at least offering.

lastchance's picture

I actually went ahead and sent that text. I said "If you want to talk to DH, feel free to call my phone. Don't worry, I won't answer. If he's not with me it will go to VM. Same idea if you choose to text."

I got "cool" in response.

lastchance's picture

She's only 5. I wish that would work. In a few more years we plan on getting her her own cell phone. One of those kid ones where it has 4 buttons and each has a number programmed to it. That way BM can't use the phone for her own use.

starfish's picture

i don't see any resaon to even bring it up...... she has a working number, that should be enough..

not to mention, she has to go thru you to get to dh ~~ i'm sure she hates having to call you for everything!! }:)

lastchance's picture

She might now. She didn't used to. I used to get weekly texts asking about money and she knew full well that DH wasn't working. Also texts asking about insurance, PRN med's for SD, and any other bullshit she came up with and SD "needed".

lastchance's picture

hmmm...that's actually a pretty good idea. I will have to look into it and see if I can do that!

lastchance's picture

THAT. IS. REALLY. FREAKING. COOOOOOL! I wish I had known this existed before!!!!! Wholly crap. Checking into it now!!!

Couldawouldashoulda's picture

This is so freakin' awesome! Sure wish I woulda known about this prior. Thanks so much! Smile