I was married to that.

DO you have sex with him every time? Or do you stop him and tell him you want to TALK?

Works for me

All relationships have ebbs and flows in terms of sex. BUT if you're finding yourself withdrawing from your partner because of stress CAUSED by them (and their kids), maybe it's time to rethink the relationship? This is not normal ebb and flow - it's one person being unhappy as a result of the other and that unhappiness is taking it's roll on your sex drive. I'm sure it's taking it's toll on other aspects of your mental health and well-being too. 

My DH doesn't see it as a "Cure All", but he sure wants way more than I do.

We've come to a place of understanding about that that meets both of our needs.  If I were in your shoes, I would never want him to touch me, period. First off, I'd be half-dead dealing with 8 kids, and secondly, he doesn't support you and treats you like garbage. What a turn-on that is.

What woman in their right mind would want to give a man that part of themselves after all that bullsh!t you go through...day in and day out......

He's clueless and you need to let him know about himself!

I don't know about you all but I need to be relaxed and not stressed out about 40 different things to have good sex.  But when I am stressed out, I miss having good sex.  And "maintenance sex" just is NOT cutting it.  DH is trying but he is having "issues" that he is not quite coming to terms with addressing completely.  Have any of you ever been in the middle of having sex and had the thought go through your head "man, I really need to get laid?"  Anyone know what I am talking about????  Not that sex is a cure all because it is not but every human has needs that build up, KWIM?

Sorry but only assh0les do that. I'd never try to make love to my wife of she's upset, mad, strssed.

This is the classic difference in how men and women think of sex and intimacy. And thank god for it or women would have been pregnant every 10 months. It's nature's birth control.

When women are stressed or have issues, we’re quite vocal and will talk with our closest friends/family.

men on the other hand de-stress by having sex, they can’t de-stress by talking it out...

i’m a firm believer of communication 

While sex can't make a marriage it sure can end one. Particularly when the cavern crotched adulterous whore of an XW is shopping the pooty all over town to every available swinging Johnson she can knob gobble with every orifice she possesses.  Not that I remain bitter or anything. Nearly 29 years post divorce.    

And since there is justice in life, she has lived a significantly miserable life since then.   Three out of wedlock pregnancies while with her serial cheat partners, a $multi-million dollar civil court judgment against her, at least two divorces, etc.....  And it couldn't happen to a person more worthy of a life of abject misery.

Sex can be a great bonding activity even during stressful times. But it should never be used to control, manipulate, avoid or otherwise obfuscate other life issues.

This is one of those you know it when you see it things and you are seeing that it is a problem in your marriage. So .. it is definitely a problem.

Take care of you.

I feel like this describes my life exactly! I know what you are going through. Let's fight and then five minutes later he wants to have sex. Women don't do that. Then it's like why don't you want to, aren't you attracted to me anymore, etc. No, you were just being a dick so no.

I quit wanting to have sex with him after being subjected to disrespect from his entitled brats during the day and him yelling at me for addressing their behavior. I no longer respected him as a man nor parent. I'm not that desperate. 

Putting up with all that stress is enough to kill the mood.