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SD12's crazy family wants to keep her a baby forever

NoNameThx's picture

You know, I was raised by a mom who never believed in babying me or my brother. She never talked to us in baby talk or that sing-songy voice; she talked to us as she would talk to anyone. She treated us in age-appropriate ways and always acknowledged us for the age we were. Meaning, by the time we were 9, 10, 11, and certainly 12, she was treating us as adolescents, not little kids. We were encouraged to learn to be independent. We were given real responsibilities. Looking back, I'm quite grateful for that; my brother and I were both strong, independent kids; strong, independent teens; and are strong, independent adults.

SD12...heaven help that kid...why will NO ONE but me acknowledge that she is freaking 12? She's NOT a baby, or a "little girl". She's in 6th grade. I've had my problems with this kid, but I've got to say, in the last few months she really has done a turn around and I've actually been enjoying hanging out with her! (seriously! It's been great!) I think she changed her behavior towards me, honestly, because she realized I am the single ONLY adult in her life that respects that she is almost a teenager and should be seen as such. Here's what's driving me crazy lately.

1. Despite me correcting him, when my husband introduces SD12 to people, he'll say, "this is my little girl". SD12 is too polite to say a thing but it humiliates her. I keep reminding him that it's ridiculous; she's a middle schooler! Just say "this is my daughter".

2. Her grandmother...I could write a novel about this idiotic, psychotic woman! Here is why:
--When SD12 goes to spend the night with her grandmother, even though she has her own room at her house, her grandmother insists that she sleep with her and cuddle under the blankets! I think it's REALLY FREAKING WEIRD. Why does grandmother want to cuddle with a 12 year old?! She got divorced last year and gets lonely, and I really think she uses SD12 as a substitute for a husband! Really freaking weird. SD12 is too scared to speak up because when she does her grandmother does apesh** and boo-hoos.
--What did her grandmother buy her for Valentines Day? A stuffed animal? A box of candy? NO. She bought her a freaking book meant for between the ages of 3-6 (seriously, that's what the book recommended as an age!!!) called "If I Could Keep You Little". All about how a mom is having a hard time realizing that her kid will grow up one day. I mean seriously?! If she wanted to give her a sweet book, couldn't she have found something age appropriate about how special granddaughters are or something? A freaking board book meant for a toddler to be read at bedtime called "If I Could Keep You Little". And my husband thought it was the sweetest thing ever and didn't get why I don't think so!

Mind you, this is the same kid that STILL sucks her thumb at night; STILL believes fairies are real; STILL doesn't want to take care of hygiene. But her family wants to keep babying and coddling her? And grandmother wants to spoon her because she gets lonely? And my husband calls her his "little girl"?

I have had serious battles with this kid, but I can honestly say that once her behavior changed, I really started to like her. Seriously! No lie. She has told me she appreciates me treating her with respect and giving her space and privacy. I just want the best for her and she is seriously behind in the maturity department. She acts more like she's about 8 most days, and her family won't assist me in trying to teach her how to act more her age. I'm just frustrated.

ctnmom's picture

Even though she's immature, sounds like she knows what's going on. Maybe she could approach them? She could practice what she would say on you, her new best friend LOL! And the GM has to stop co sleeping, that is NOT healthy for a 12 year old.

ocs's picture

LOL...

I know this too well...

MIL kneeled down yesterday to put on SD's socks. She is 15.