SD may be spreading family secrets.........
So, My BD11 is not really my DH daughter; she does not know this and has only known him as daddy since she was 2 years old. Her brothers think the same way, friends and any one we meet as well.
About 6 years ago my SD13 BM spilled the beans to SD...Go figure.
My daughter is complex and I have explained her lack her ability to grasp reality and her sever OCD amongst other things. Dad and I have made the descision that this is the year we are going to tell her NICELY.......
I get to my mother house to drop of my youngest and she says....
"I got a phone call from a friend that told me that SD is telling people (at school and her friends) that BM is not really her sister and that not her real dad!!
I am furious beyond belief; I know some of you might have some negative things to say; like it's not SD responsibility to keep this to herself and it is my fault for keeping this from my BD; but....
You can't change the past and he has been a great father for her!! Her BD has never even bothered once...... I just thought that after all these years SD would not do something like this to BD; crush her like this.....
Thoughts??
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Not as simple as that. Yes it
Not as simple as that. Yes it sounds easy; but you are talking about YOUR own child and the realizaiton that this person who has been taking care of you your whole life really isn't your father.... I feel like it is more than that. Not just a five minute....OOPs conversation.
My daughter's thought process is not "all" there either. She has a hard time grasping simple information and once she finds things out (that aren't even that important) she will dismiss them or just be rude.......I am afraid once she finds out; everytime DAD goes to talk to her; she will simply say; YOU'RE not my dad; so stop talking to me.
I would have told her years ago but her counselor said this sort of thing would just kill her and she wouldn't even understand when I told her that he wasn't her dad; she would be mentally crushed.
I just wanted to know if ne 1 else has ever gone through this........
Start off by telling her
Start off by telling her that, no matter what, he's her dad and will always be her dad. He raised her, loves her, takes care of her....
Any man can father a child, but not all can be a dad.
Sorry you are facing this, and I hope your daughter is able to handle and cope with the news. You should tell her before someone else does, though.
Thanks RaeRae - We are
Thanks RaeRae - We are telling her after Christmas.....This is a hard time; and there is more to the story and I believe the Conselor made the best decision; she has been in out of the hospital..and goes through a lot of things; I believe at that time it would have killed her. But now is the time; she is strong, confident and doing well; I think she will "understand" now.
I just wanted some advice or maybe someone to give input on what they went through...... but I got a bunch of I would haves.............
I'm sure there is much more
I'm sure there is much more to the story, only you know your situation and your little girl. Would have been good if things had been able to go as planned between you, DH and the counselor. But since there is too much risk, the biggest concern here is BD being able to hear from you and Daddy, and not a kid or school, etc. I'll keep you and your family in my happy thoughts.