Sounds like mom is a little too attached. And not in a healthy way. I could be wrong and end up being the only one telling you this but I agree with you, don't make a big deal about it. Tell BM that she needs to essentially fuck off. She of course can "have the talk" with her daughter, you will leave that to her but for her to demand that you send her home as soon as she starts bleeding is assinine. What are they going to do? Hold hands and cry and cheer over her blooming womanhood? seriously lol

Yeah that woman is batshit crazy. Don't bring her home. I'm a bm and was a sm for 8 years. I can't imagine bringing the sd home or my exh bringing by bd home. How stupid.

I remember when BM freaked out over that too worring that SD would have while here and god knows i dont know anything about periods....therefore she felt the need to buy her pads to bring to my house and gave her the big talk two years before it even started. Well early spring she stated of course at my house did not say a word to me just keep calling her mom all morning I had no idea what was even going on. I am sure that is what she was told to do. Anyway I hate the period I wish she would have while on her moms time she is gross she tosses very bloodly underwear in hamper and I even seen some in dresser with clean clothes. So I had to tell her to stop that cause I am not cleaning bloody underwear she needs to rinse out I also had to teach her about period panties and reg one. She said BM did not tell her that stuff wtf gross why would u turn all underwear in gross ones? Furthermore she lies when on period to now cause she wants to swim in my pool another gross thing I made her dad talk to her cause I am sick of it. Since she lies I always make she once I see her outside with suit on I go check her room to see if she started period since she always leaves the pad in in pants on her floor god this is gross to even type......sorry..... Get this the 1st week she started period she was trying to stick my larger tampons up there.... What the hell did BM teach her anyway. The girl wasn't even bleeding that's actually dangerous when no blood , you use a liner, plus the little girl does not need to try and put big one up there. So this summer I took her to store and we got a pack of pinky thins and I had to explain the whole tampon thing pool thing ect. So just cause BM wants to be there and teach her does not mean she will do a good job and believe me you will get your teaching time in and it's not fun

BM & SO had an agreement before I came into the picture that if either SD started while with him, BM would take them for a few days. I think he just felt more comfortable letting their mother deal with it (and there wasn't a female around his home when they discussed it). Even when I came into the picture, he told me he still wanted them to go to BM's. I was fine with that. And SD13 started last fall on a night she went back to BM's for the week so it worked out accordingly. Of course, now we deal with BM not really giving SD a lot of advice (or at least it appears that way .... maybe SD just doesn't pay attention to anything BM has told her ... I don't know) so I have to tell SO what to tell SD ... no need to have her run back to BM and tell her I was giving instructions on how to properly take care of herself during it. SO is a little uncomfortable but I just remind him he'd have to deal with it if I wasn't here ... but seriously, how can BM not get SD to realize you HAVE to bathe every day during it?! It's been almost a year now and we still have to tell her to shower! And SD never seems prepared to start ... like she doesn't understand the cycle or something - always calling she needs products at school or clothes because she messed hers. UGH! In this day & age there's gotta be some smartphone app to help her out with this because I constantly feel like I'm the one telling SO what to tell her about all of it ... did her mother just talk to her once when she started and expect her to know what to do after that?!

If mom has told her she would be disappointed, best let her go unless you're away somewhere and it's not convenient. A first period is so not important or traumatic, but the real issue is mom has blackmailed kid and kid will be punished around her feminine identity if she does not obey mom. Let her go, no big deal, why care either way. If we had been asked this over our 2 at the relevant time I'd have waited to see if they told me they had their first period (they probably wouldn't if manipulated like this), then asked whether they wanted to go to mom now, and taken it from there.

I'm wondering what is going to go on afte the kid is delivered. Is Mom going to make sure everything is in place?

I still remember my (now) 40 yo step dancing around the living room singing "I started I started" She was a late "bloomer" and I guess it was weighing on her mind until then. LOL I gave out a singe hurrah to celebrate the moment and life went on.

It is a rite of passage isn't it? If the girl wants to go home I certainly would not deny her. It's certainly more of a mother/daughter thing than father/daughter or step/daughter.