Disrespectful mother in law
My husbands mother has professional mother/daughter portraits of herself and my husbands ex hanging in her living room. We told his mother we were coming down and she offered us to stay at her house. When we got there i immediately notice the pictures hanging and there was even a bunch of photos on the coffee table of the ex. I already know that she doesnt like me because of the fact that my husband and this ex have a 1 year old son together, and she feels that i am the reason they are not together which is BS. May i add that these "professional studio mother/daughter pictures" of my mother in law and his ex were taken recently, well after the divorce, which is even more irritating. While down there visiting, we meaning my husband and our children took studio pictures with his mother, his grandmother (his moms mom), and his moms new boyfriend. She didnt even smile in the photo!! We did all kinds of poses and breakdowns, and she didnt even want to buy a copy of just my husband and our family!! I guess she didnt want to hang it next to the ones of his ex and her sarcastically speaking!! While at her house she pretends to be nice and i of course act civil for the sake of my husband because that is his mom. Do you think its right that i feel irritated and annoyed that she decided to post these photos. I mean i understand it is her house, but dont i have a right to be respected?? I am really upset about it and would like some advice. Please.
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Hello dear - I would try to
Hello dear - I would try to ignore the photos the one time you are caught by surprise, and then never return until they are taken down. Tell your DH to tell his mom that is why you will not come to her house.
It will be an unpopular move (to the MIL) but to me that is what you need to do NOW or this will only continue. HUGS
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“Learn by practice.” - Martha Graham
I agree with the women.... I
I agree with the women.... I would not return the rudeness..... I would have told your husband in private there while in the home... and then have you husband tell her (the evil mother in law later) that it was very uncomfortable and disrespectful to your marriage for those pictures to be up... she does not have to like you but should respectful of her son and his new marriage at least.
I mean geez. AND then i would not return to her house until they are down... and if she called or inquired of you why - then you tell her you would like her respect regardless of her feelings as to why or why not you guys are married. She does not make decisions in that department and it is really none of her business whom he marries as he is a grown adult.
********She doesn't have to love me or even like me - it doesn't change a dang thing..... So get over it and move on BM!************
I love the way you laid that
I love the way you laid that out. I am also a proponent of not trying to control others and I think your suggestion she choose to stay away if mil's shrine to the xdil is not taken down is a great one. She should do this very calm and dignified with no drama and mil can decide as she will.
I would have to agree, that
I would have to agree, that i wouldnt go back until the pictures are down and tell your DH how you feel and hopefully he will tell his mom that...
Thank you everyone for your
Thank you everyone for your input. May i add that these "professional studio mother/daughter pictures" of my mother in law and his ex were taken recently, well after the divorce, which is even more irritating. While down there visiting, we meaning my husband and our children took studio pictures with his mother, his grandmother (his moms mom), and his moms new boyfriend. She didnt even smile in the photo!! We did all kinds of poses and breakdowns, and she didnt even want to buy a copy of just my husband and our family!! I guess she didnt want to hang it next to the ones of his ex and her sarcastically speaking!!
StepAside, What about
StepAside, What about wedding photos?
How does your husband feel
How does your husband feel about you and his mother not getting along and the fact that she doesnt like you or approve of your guys marriage? Do you find yourselves butting heads on certain issues about her, if they happen to come up? And what do you do on holidays? I seriously hate my MIL and i dont like hearing about her or talking about her, but it seems impossible not to.
It's too bad that I didn't
It's too bad that I didn't read this post a year ago. The same exact situation happened to me 8 years ago. I felt the same way it was her house and I was just a girlfriend at the time. I eventually said to my now husband. I don't want to go over there I find it disrespectful that she is keeping pictures up of your ex-girlfriend. He spoke to her about it and kicking and screaming she said it was her house and she has every right to have it up. The crazy woman then put the 8 x 10 picture beside her bed. My husband (then bf) told her that it wasn't appropriate. She took it down but was completely fighting it. To this day the woman has been evil. The fact is weather or not that the picture is up or down she continues to treat me as though this other woman takes more of a seat in the family. Over the years I have choosen to see her less and less. The times I have gone only to support my husband. However I cracked this year. This year again at Christmas she was again her true disrespectful self. We left Chritmas and my husband didn't want to talk about it. I had enough and told him if he didn't stand up for me as a man then that was it between us. I have been the supportive wife of his crazy family. However after 8 years I have place in the family and he has talked to her countless times about her behaviour. It's final she is no longer welcome in our life. She has no right to cause disharmony between us.
I agree completely about her
I agree completely about her not having any right to destroy what you and your husband have together. I told my mother in law she could either be happy for us and accept our lives together or she could learn to live without us in hers. This train was movin on with or without her on board and we were both okay with that because she was causing way too much drama. She hung her photos in her room beside her bed as well...and they are still up.
my husband gave his mom 1
my husband gave his mom 1 month to take the pic she had of him and the ex down he said if you don't i'll take it down myself and burn it...well, she didn't like that, but still took it down and never put it back up....but she HATED her so i guess that helped. i dont think you're being over reactive, perfectly acceptable. here's what i do cause my family don't care for my husband...we go get OUR pictures done, and i give them the picture I ME AND MYSELF want them to have (those that include my husband) that way there's no other issues