Paternity fraud
My husbands 7 year old son is not his child, it's very obvious and he also has doubts but was convinced by the woman he was sleeping with that it was his child. He blindly trusted this woman and stayed with her and supported her during the pregnancy,she ran up his credit, put him in debt and cheated on him and publicly humiliated him. Now the child is a means of getting child support. It's clear the differences in genetics but he doesn't want to face the truth, hoping it never comes out. It's hard to watch someone you love being taken advantage of knowing in time they will be devastated when the truth does come out. Why would a man continue with this veil of deception and go along when deep down they know the truth? Wouldn't you want to do a test to be sure? I would like to hear some feedback from women witnessing this same situation
Paternity fraud is a very
Paternity fraud is a very real problem in society and men get entrapped by these evil women and their attachment to the child is the woman's means of control and manipulation. Would like some feedback from a mans point of view as this is who the issue lies with. Are there any men with a similar story that can share?
Depending on your state, at 7
Depending on your state, at 7 years even if the child is not his, he may still be on the hook for CS until the child ages out of the system.
When I started dating
When I started dating fiancee, u know, after we were together awhile, various members of his family told me that when ss8 was born that they not only asked but URGED him to have a paternity test. He was only with baby momma a short time and she was on drugs and just a complete hot mess. Most of them doubt ss8 is his biological son. He of course said "no", he's my kid....and that was that. He wanted the kid, and everyone just let the issue go.
This child looks absolutely NOTHING AT ALL like fiancee. The only thing I can find in common between them is that they are both white. fiancee (is bald now) but had blonde hair and has blue eyes. ss8 has mousy brown hair and brown eyes. the kid looks EXACTLY like the bio mom. The latest development, ikn my opinion, REALLY seals the deal in my mind. Because ss8 has autism, a neurologist ordered a battery of tests (lots of genetic stuff). Turns otu the kid has a genetic deletion on chromosome 16 which causes a person to have what's called autosomal dominant polycystic kidney disease. in 95% of cases, a child DIRECTLY gets this from one or the other biological parent. only 5% of cases on earth are a genetic mutation where no family member has the disease. And guess who doesn't have ADPKD? My fiancee, nor the kids bio mother.......I am fairly certain there is some guy out there that she slept with that is this kid's biology, and not my fiancee. But, he refuses to ever find out for sure
I feel your pain but it sounds like your guy wanted this kid to be his no matter what, and he's gonna let it cost him $ just to stay the kid's father.
well in my case biomom's not
well in my case biomom's not fit to take care of this kid so even though he probably isn't fiancee's biology, he's been raising him since birth so we're stuck either way! BUT, I still wanna know just for my own overactive mind if my suspicions about his paternity are dead on or if i'm wrong!
They have mail at home kits
They have mail at home kits to check, but be careful what you ask for because you may rid yourself of a SS - and a husband - who may not forgive you.
CSA, i've heard of these at
CSA, i've heard of these at home kits.....but I agree, if I did that to fiancee and were to find out the kid wasn't his, then what? It's not like I could ever TELL him...plus how do i swab his mouth without him knowing, LOL
I can relate to your
I can relate to your situation. If you look at it, he may not be thinking of himself, but a child who has called him dad for 7 years. He may know the truth, buy the truth could do more harm than good. Maybe he can sit and talk with the child's mother and voice his concerns. If a paternity test is done and it comes back negative then the ball is in his court. Whatever you do tread lightly.
My DH was in a somewhat
My DH was in a somewhat similar situation. He married BM knowing that her pregnancy might have nothing to do with him, or it might be his child. He still does not know for sure but most people in on the secret believe the OSD24 not to be his. Both parents are white with deep brown eyes and OSD is blue-eyed. I am pretty sure she is his from face shape, but not scientifically so. Anyway I agree with posters warning you to tread lightly on this. My DH could still not really to this day articulate why he has this commitment to OSD no matter what, but the paternity uncertainty almost makes him more committed and protective of her. OSD has been let in on the secret by BM who has been trawling the planet for the "real" dad for financial support reasons; even this does not prevent my DH from feeling himself to be the dad.
The major argument for getting a DNA test is to help the child to obtain the best possible healthcare, ensuring that genetic conditions are taken care of early. But if, as seems likely in your case, it will never actually be known who the BF is given that BM is not helping out, then your SK will not benefit from that info. So you can't really start to use that argument.
I can guarantee that if that
I can guarantee that if that Mom can do the things you say she's done the day will come when it will be in the Mom's best interest to tell the kid the truth.
Others pain never out-weighs her gain. On the day child support ends, if not sooner, the kid will learn his true identify.
Surely you can swab the kids mouth somewhere along the way and I understand you can swab a glass or whatever for the adult. However as the others have said you really should just stay out of it.
I agree with OCC about the
I agree with OCC about the date when the mom will tell the truth -- this happened to us. She may likely do it to secure allegiance from the kid the moment that that aim is not outweighed by the financial benefits of silence.
SD16 is NOT SO's child,
SD16 is NOT SO's child, genetically speaking. SD told me, when she was 13 that BM Redneck told her at Christmas (???) that SO is not her BD but that it was some Naval Officer who was married with children already so he "didn't want them"...I called SO outside & SD retold him the whole story...he called Redneck & she said "I don't know who her BD is...it could be ANYONE! I told her about the Officer I dated because I couldn't tell her I didn't know!"...OMG, really? Whore bag!
SO considers himself her dad...always has & always will. SD however...well, that's a different story.
No paternity tests have been done & there never will be one.