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Out of sight, out of mind.

Annoyed1's picture

I have the pleasure of having SS's full time and go to their moms whenever (no court order *eye roll*). Well, yesterday BM finally decided that she could take the boys. They left their rooms a mess and stuff all over the living room. I cleaned the living room and threw all their crap in each of their rooms and closed both doors. DH went in one of their rooms and left the door open. When I went and closed it he asked me why I was closing their doors. I just said I'm tidying up and don't want to look at their messy rooms. Part of that is true, but another part of me just puts EVERYTHING of theirs away so I can pretend they don't exist for however long they are gone. One can dream!

Orange County Ca's picture

Many parents do that with bio-children. I do wonder however if it doesn't foster two things. First its OK to be messy - hence messy dorm rooms and bachelor/ette apartments and two messy adults of all ages.

Of course it doesn't matter unless it becomes so messy as to become a health hazard but if one is the bio-parent it could end up reflecting on you if an aunt or friend of the parent visits.

But as the step-parent you're right-on. Let Daddy deal with it.

Midwest Stepmom's picture

SS12 is expected to keep him room clean when he come to stay every other weekend. We have a routine, Sunday afternoon he spends the time cleaning up his messes before he heads back to BMs. Dh inspects the room and okay's it. I like to keep a clean house, I dust and scrub every week.

Midwest Stepmom's picture

SS12 is expected to keep him room clean when he come to stay every other weekend. We have a routine, Sunday afternoon he spends the time cleaning up his messes before he heads back to BMs. Dh inspects the room and okay's it. I like to keep a clean house, I dust and scrub every week.

Annoyed1's picture

Oh, there's no health hazards although I like to make DH and SS's think there is sometimes }:) I'm just a neat freak and can't handle looking at a mess! I like everything in order and when SS's are here, I feel there is no order as I'm disengaged and DH is responsible for that (and does horribly at it since he works lots). I wish they had some more routine. Like to clean their rooms before they go to their moms, but honestly, I'd still close their bedroom doors when they're gone Blum 3 if they want to live like little pigs I'm not going to stop them.

wth was I thinking's picture

I do the same thing, that door stays closed 11 days at a time, it's blissful. I don't have to put up with the pink and purple visual assault that is their d├ęcor and all their crap.

rahrah2019's picture

I also shut the door as soon as possible once SS is gone. I heard him ask DH if he wanted him to shut the door once while he was getting ready to leave. DH says, "Either way.... you know, I'm not really sure why we keep that door shut." How about, "Yes, shut the door, since you once again left your room a mess and we don't care to look at it." Of course, then he'd have to explain why the evil SM doesn't clean up after him.

As a side note, this is something I would have said to my bio kids growing up. I don't treat SS any differently than I did them. It's just that he's been raised to believe he's perfect and can do no wrong and doesn't need to take responsibility for anything. That's not my doing, and I made a conscious decision long ago to not go along with that train of thought.

LittlePanda's picture

Lol! I do it all the time. Put her stuff in her room and close the door! I know it sounds awful, but you are so right..it is pretending that they don't exist! If only for a couple of days..