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O/T Everyone is critizing my parenting...including DH

confusedsm03's picture

In the past 24 hours, I've eating shit from MIL, BM telling me I'm not firm (how does she know hwat happens in my house unless MIL or DH are telling her), and now DH is forcing DS1 to cry it out bc he needs to learn. Ive spent alot of time researching and don't agree with this method. DH ONLY wants him to cry it out if SS isn't here for that matter. As soon as DS wakes up and SS is here, DH takes him downstairs bc SS "needs his sleep". I understand DD7 has issues. I told DH I would agree to his method even though I don't agree with it, for 3 months. I know change takes time and I said we would re-evaluate then. But I'm really mad about DS1. Every one thinks bc DD has issues, that it's all my fault and DS is just like her. DD was born when I was 18, we lived with my mother for her first 4 years. It wasn't the easiest situation with numerous of us trying to parent, her father in and out of her life, moving in here with DH and SS (an hr away from her friends and family), then us getting married, the addition of DS1 and she is behind with her social abilities and somewhat academically. Sure, I played a part in it but I don't feel that I alone caused her to be like this. Now I get treated like I'm a frickin moron who doesn't know how to take care of DS1. DD's situation was completely different than DS. I feel so stupid right now. Why does no one else see that DS1 is awesome? That he can spell his name? That he loves sports? That he loves reading stories? My mom told me that DS chronic hives are from stress, which is my fault. MIL told me DS1 is turning into DD7, DH tells me DS1 is "out of control" bc he doesn't like to sit in his highchair and likes to dump his food bc he thinks its fun to clean it up. DH says DS has "free range" to do whatever he wants. Sure, the entire first floor is baby proof. His toys are in the living and dining room so thats where he plays. I devote so much time to my kids to help them along educationally and emotionally but no one can see that. They just see a boy who is the complete opposite of SS so something must be wrong with him and it MUST be my fault. MIL says I'm just so lucky to have DH who will stick with me even though my DD is so difficult and DS is just so lucky to have DH as his father bc clearly I messed up DD and would do the same to DS if DH wasn't around. OH YES MIL I'm counting my blessings that your son treats me like a damn idiot. Why am I even a SAHM if everything I do is wrong?