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OMG give me strength not to push SS over a bridge. I won’t do well in jail!

Ericabee00's picture

Just when I thought SS13 could NOT get anymore bratty...

I pretty much Disengaged when the brat is over and only talk to him when I have to. Well the last few months almost EVERY time I say or do something SS makes a Sarcastic comment even when I'm talking to DH. Example..I told DH how I like the Design of our kitchen. SS over heard and rudely said we have been living here for 6 years and JUST now you are making a comment and rolled his eyes. If I put our dog out to potty SS will jump in and say he does not have to go out and let him in two minutes later. If I make a comment it looks like it may snow to DH SS will jump in and say no it's not. SS will disagree with me just to disagree and rudely so. If I said water is wet SS will say no it's not. Now if SS did this to everyone I would just say it's Typical teen behavior BUT he does not. If DH made a comment about our kitchen Design like I did SS would have agreed with DH fully. SS will agree with DH over things he has no clue about just to agree with DH. 
 

So what gives??? How can I beat this little bastard at his own game?? 

lieutenant_dad's picture

Stop turning it into a game and call him on being a brat.

"SS, you did not need to share your opinion and butt into this conversation. You are being rude. Stop it."

"SS, the dog is mine and they need to go outside. Do not let them in."

If your DH chastises you in front of SS:

"DH, I won't allow SS to be rude to you or me, and I won't let you talk to me like I'm a child. If you want to talk to me about this, then we discuss it alone as adults."

tog redux's picture

Yes, what Lt. Dad said - call him on it.  Disengagement doesn't mean you let the kid run over you. And if DH won't stop his Prince from being rude to you, you are free to say what you want to protect your own boundaries - and your dog.

Stepdrama2020's picture

Call him out on it  "Little prick SS   STFU your comments are useless"   JK JK JK!!! Now I know we cannot say that but wouldnt it be nice. When my exSD used to say shit the answers in my head would have also got me arrested.

Good luck with the lil dick head 

Ericabee00's picture

I'll say that's rude or stop and SS acts all Innocent and says "WHAT?" and give DH a side look to see if DH is going to say anything. SS KNOWS he's being rude but waiting to see if DH is going to get involved. I've pulled DH aside and told him that was rude of SS and can he say something to SS. DH will talk to SS( sometimes) BUT it's always the same. SS13 says he was not being rude and if DH pushes the issue the Crocodile tears start and SS will start complaining about issues that are unrelated to get DH off the subject. SS is a manipulating prick just like BM. Of course DH backs down and tells me he "talked to SS" BUT SS does not think I was rude and got upset. 

lieutenant_dad's picture

"SS, stop looking to your dad to see if he'll save you. You were rude to ME, and that means you answer to ME. Just like if I were a teacher or your grandmother. Knock it off."

I'd also be blunt with DH:

"DH, your talks clearly aren't working because he's still being rude. YOU need to handle this better. He cries because he knows it gets him out trouble. Even if his tears are because he feels bad, he SHOULD feel bad. You shouldn't shield him from feeling guilty for his poor actions. He needs to learn that actions have consequences, and sometimes those consequences are our own guilt. You perpetuate the problem by not letting him learn that lesson."

AgedOut's picture

"young man this is not your conversation" "I will make the decisioons regarding my dogs" "thank you for your opinion SS. " then physically turn away. if he rolls his eyes "SS, rolling your eyes is very rude. I will leave your to your dad to deal with" then step away. 

Always turn away. It shows him you are not going to give audience to his nonsense.

justmakingthebest's picture

"I'm sorry, I don't recall asking for your opinion or even for you to be in this room. You can leave now."

 

Ispofacto's picture

"Go to your room.  NOW."

Every.  Single.  Time.

If he argues:  "Not interested.  GO."

Dogmom1321's picture

Whenever SD10 says a rude comment "I don't think that color looks good on you." "*Ordered pizza from a local place* Ew I only like dominos." I just ignore her. Walk into a different room close a door etc. I don't even try to point out her rudeness anymore. SOMETIMES she gets the hint and I can hear her say "Okayyyyy" 

The problem with these brats is that no amount of "correcting" by the Steps is going to undo the Bios failures. Just let them be. 

crystaloo's picture

Posts such as these make me very thankful I left steplife. After reading posts like this it confirms when the kids start to approach the teen years things more often than not get a lot worse. I loved my ex with all my heart and still do but sometimes love is not enough. His kids were so disrespectful towards me sometimes. They were young at the time but I can't imagine how they would've been towards me once they were teenagers. There were times when his kids were just so mean and cruel. Between the kids, the meddling ex and the MIL, love was just not enough to save our relationship. His kids did not like me no matter how nice I was towards them. I had to ask myself why I was putting myself through it. Even though I loved him, and still do, I do not regret leaving.

Rags's picture

Put your proverbial foot up his ass when he gets lippy and implement zero tolerance for his disrespectful behavioral bullshit.

"No one asked you so shut up unless your are directly spoken to. You are not an adult and if you were I would slap your snarky mouth.  Don't test me any further or you will find every second that you are in MY home to be a living hell."

Lather, rinse, repeat.