Odd comments wife says about her daughter
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Her daughter is only four yet my wife brags that she already flirts with older boys and thinks tall teenage boys with blond hair are cute. Her ex is blond and tall. Odd comments regarding a four year old when I don't even think her daughter is remotely interested in boys at all yet other than they annoy her. My wife always feels the need to tell me this too which is beyond weird. She also makes it a point that her daughter isn't attracted to asian boys (I am half asian and so is my family) but prefers blond guys. I could care less but I thought it was odd behavior when talking about her daughter who is only 4. Is it a jab at me? Any thought on this?
My SD said she had like 5
My SD said she had like 5 boyfriends in either first or 2nd grade.. not sure why she is going on about the type of boy..
Sounds like she is projecting
Sounds like she is projecting her preferences onto her daughter. Have you looked into Narcisstic Parenting? Mother's are known to do it but society sees it more when Dad's try to relive their youth through their child's sports. Think that dad who makes his son play football when the kid obviously hates it, but dad was an all-star player so expects his kid to love and be good at it. Look it up, start asking yourself if you are missing other things like being putting second to the kid, her using words like "my kid" when refering to her kid when she is talking to the biodad or using the kid as a prop of validation...those kind of things are all red flags and you need to decide if she is a narcissitic BM (GUBM) do you want to live with that? Do you want to have children with that? Do you want to parent like that?
I don't think of it as a jab persay but more of a red flag that she thinks of her child as an extention of herself. Obviously she cannot tell you blonde guys are her preference but she emote it onto her child. There are probably some other red flags, look around for them then decide if you can live with this or not. (I wouldn't, it will only get worse when the girl is actually old enough to bring home guys that might not fit into her mom's preferences)
Shes projecting her own self
Shes projecting her own self onto her daughter which means two things
- she's a narcissist (unheatlhy parenting btw) and
-you're not really her type and she's with you for ulterior motives.
It sounds like this isn’t the
It sounds like this isn’t the right woman for you?! I don’t really know what else to say.
She might be projecting a bit, or maybe it is what she envisions... I don’t know if I would go so far as to say it is narcissistic parenting though.
It might be a bit of nitpicking on your part, but you clearly aren’t very happy with her, and there is obviously a lot more to it.