my personal solution for christmas cards
I have 2 biokids, 1 ss, and 1 dd with dh.
My personal outlook on christmas cards: i enjoy receiving them. I think nothing more about it if i dont receive them. I enjoy the card/picture/letter, or whatever is sent and i dont over analyze the who, what, why, how of the said card.
With that bein said, i know some that i send cards too pretty much look at it the same way as i do. And the ones that i dont know how they feel about cards? Well, honestly i dont care. Throw it away for all i care. LOL
i am gonna do picture cards this year. I have dd who is a baby and i want to share this cuz i want to. Do we need any more reason than that? For my family and MY friends, the card will be of my three kids. Dh family and friends it will just be dd.
What about ss? That's not my problem. Dh doesnt want to do the work, and that is his choice. I wont get on him for his choice, just like he wont get on me for my choice. He knows we are not a big happy family.
So i will send out specific cards to specific people and the signature will read
Happy Holidays from our gang to yours.
On my dd pic in the corner i will put her first name and the year.
I will smack a stamp on them and think nothing more!
Great solution! I love that
Great solution! I love that you're planning ahead- you've inspired me to get on the ball too!
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I will have all the kids in
I will have all the kids in our pics but mainly b/c they are good kids for the most part and are not disrespectful to me. And dh will not let them be disrespectful either. He did try to make them respect their mom but since he is not there and bm won;t do anything but expect dh do it it just didn't work.
But I say that SMS NEED to do what is best for themselves and their kids! If I didn't have the relationship that I do with my skids they would not be in our pics either. If the skids didn;t want to come over or have anything to do with either dad then NOPE wouldn't include them! I am the type though that I could care less what other people think! I would tell them to STFU!
I have had to tell my beast friend who is a sm too that I refuse to treat my skids like she does hers meaning she tip toes around him and all that nonesense! I remember one time when my ss15 stole from my son she told me I should take him out and buy him what he stole b/c it was obvious he wanted one too. :jawdrop: I told her NO WAY was I going to reward him for stealing but instead i punished him for it. I told her that that was the reason her ss is the way he is with her and she never treated him like a freaking KID and she is the ADULT but more like adult and friend! Can't work that way.
But in the end the sm has to stand up for herself and her kids if she has any and keep on standing up and if that means the end of her marriage it just means there wasn't one to begin with!
Last year I had a new baby ,
Last year I had a new baby , 2 skids and a bio son. It was a lot of fun. This year ss is 12 and very difficult . I like your solution, as time goes buy i am understanding more and more that is DH who really needs to put in the work. When i do it I get nothing, but frustration,