My bf ex is coming unglued and I need help!
Okay, so hello to everyone on here. I am glad I found this site, really need to vent. My bf has been divorced for about 3 years now. I have been with him for 2. He has a son that is 6 and I have a son that is 5. SO far for the time that we have been together things have been quite smooth, except for the off the wall phone calls, but those have died down too. The other day she came to pick him up and started a fight with my bf. She said that she didn't want me to pick her son up anymore and he told her that in their divorce papers it states that one person outside the family can pick up the child. She had a fit and says she won't let him go. That is fine, i told her that I lover her kid as much as my own, that I treat him the same as I do my son so what was the big deal, she said I know you do but he cries when he has to go with you. Which he has just started this, this last time. I think she is filling his head with crap and making him not like me. What should I do, I don't want him to come to my house making mean remarks to me cause what his momma said. It seems like it will start causing problems with me and my bf too, and the last thing I want is for him to have to choose. Please help if any of you have had to deal with Psycho ex's who are trying to get the kids against you. What should I do
i can't say your problem
i can't say your problem will go away soon...ex do find ways to make trouble. the only thing i can say is to stick to the court judgement and remind her that it exists. if she gets nasty and starts harrassing you over the phone & face to face I would call the police. your BF and you need to be strong, BF needs to be straight w/her if she gets out of hand. ignore, ignore is the best thing, the more you interact w/her the more she'll want that attention. be kind to your SS and don't worry about what his mother feeds him in his mind, be straight and honest w/SS so he'll know you care about him. as he gets older he'll realize who the real nasty person was.
-happy mom
She can be held in contempt of court
if his divorce papers state that one person can pick up child, then she has no choice but to the let the child go. If she does not, then you can hold her in contempt of court. If she continuously ignores the court orders, a judge can remove the child from her custody. Furthermore, if she is found in contempt, she will have to pay your legal fees for taking her to court.
On the flip note, bm is out to punish your bf. She is going to use his child to do so. If you are asking for advice, your bf needs to pick up the child himself. That will eleviate that fight and remove the child from the present torture she is creating, however, bm will find something else to fight over. If you bf must work during pick up/drop off times, then she needs to get over it. However, she probably will choose not to, and will put his child through pure hell.
The unfortunate thing about psycho bm's is that they don't care about what they are putting their children through. Honestly, who really cares about who is picking up the child? Unless that person doesn't drive safe, have a license, or a properly running vehicle? This is just one way of her picking a fight.
Thank you for ur advice.
Thank you for ur advice. She is looney, when she brought this up to our attention and started picking figts with us she was bringing up their past together. I think she is upset that he has found someone who makes him happier then she could. So she uses him to fight agaisnst us but makes it look like we are at fault. The sad thing is if she can do this over something so small, I can't wait for something a little bigger to piss her off. I treat my ss just like my own son, no different. I told her she should respect that her son has someone who cares and not someone who treats him badly. I think she is threatened of me because he actually does like me. She told me I am his Mother you are not, okay crazy lady, when have I ever tried to convence him I am his mother. She is off her rocker and I think she is jealous
RE:
That sounds a lot like BM in my situation. She loves to send me emails about how SS always cries when he comes home from visitation with us. She doesn't know that he confided in us that he cries because of how much she hurts his feelings, tries to make him feel guilty, tries to convince him that he didn't have a good time, and the endless questions that she asks. These women don't understand that their actions are only hurting their children. They're so focused on making your BF and you miserable that they don't see the damage they're doing to their own children.
Try to hang in there. Keep communication open between SS, BS, you, and BF. Let all of them know that your main focus is your family, which includes all three of them. Even if you don't come out and say it, prove it to them with your actions. You don't need to go out of your way to cause problems with BM, but you certainly don't have to walk on eggshells for her either. Make a plan and stick to it, and make sure that BF is behind you 100%. If she sees that he doesn't fully support you, she will exploit that every single time.
Good luck! Try to keep the focus where it belongs - your family! Let us know how it all goes
*~So sayeth Nymh~*
Okay, so the next week, it
Okay, so the next week, it was our turn to go get SS on Thursday. So this time I take off work early and go with my BF and show her I am not going anywhere, I am here to stay. Well when we got there, the SD of my SS was outside watitng for us, he said he made her stay inside since they still fight! Whatever, it was great meeting him out there and not seeing her. No conflict at all. We also told them we were ready to go back to the divorce papers and follow them on the visitation, this way we are not beholding to her.