Marriage in Turmoil because of step kids!
My husband and I continually fight over issues with our kids. This is the 2nd marriage for the both of us. I have a 7 yr old daughter from my 1st marriage and he has an 8 yr old daughter and a 5 yr old son from his. No kids together. Our main ongoing fight is, what I feel is, his lack of discipline with his kids.
This past weeken was HELL!
One of the fights we had was because he said my daughter was rude to his. Here's the scenario: our daughters go to different schools. I have joint custody with my ex he has one night a week and every other weekend. On the weekends we have our kids, we have them together. So my daughter gets an invitation from a girl at her school to attend a birthday party at a skating rink. Without talking to me about it 1st, my husband tells his daughter that she is invited to the party and gets to go skating. While at the party my daughter is talking and playing with her school friends and not paying much attention to her stepsister. This angers my husband! While I don't condone my daughter being rude to my stepdaughter, I understand her wanting to be more involved with her school mates as she rarely gets to interact with them other than school. My stepdaughter is not one to make new friends or be outgoing so in this situation she expected to be right by my daughters side to be included. My husband was furious that my daughter was not paying attention to his and his daughter was upset and felt left out. My daughter at one point told her stepsister to "go away" and was trying to skate away from her to be with her other friends. I am the more strict parent and while I do NOT agree with how my daughter spoke to her stepsister, I understand her wanting to play with her school friends and not wanting to "entertain" my stepdaughter! My stepdaughter is extremely high maintenance and feels the need to be entertained all the time. She does not play on her own and always wants an activity to do and someone to do it with. If for some reason we have my husbands kids and not mine, my stepdaughter is up my husbands butt needing to be entertained! He cannot even go to the bathroom without interruption. What is the right way to handle situations like this do the kids are happy and my husband and I don't fight over what is right or wrong?