Your SD beat up your BD? :jawdrop:

I would not allow this violent brat back into the house until your H agrees to get that child help! If not prosecute her ass for assault! OMG I would be furious if this happened to my child.

Why does your H not want to help? Would he take this stance if your D had beat up his child? He is a jerk. Protect your child and keep that thug out of your home.

Oh and her mother? What an example! Geez she is sick! :jawdrop:

TMP ~ was thinking the same thing !!

Be very careful with your next step !

Alice ~

I will tell you two stories which I can relate to you situation somewhat.

My dd & sd were dating some giant aholes ~ they went out one night w the douchebags n surprise surprise were pulled over my the cops. The boys had drugs on them ~ boys were arrested n the cops called me to retrieve them. Explained to girls if you were of aged you too would have been arrested. From this incident girls were punished. Come to find out the girls were sneaking out of my garage ~ they cut the screens in my garage window moved stuff around to escape. My DF found vandalized screen blowing in the window ~~ after finding this my DF knew this had everything to do w his daughter. I called them both downstairs laced into both of them for vandalizing MY home to go see hoodlums. Told his daughter go pack your shit I am done. Came back w her luggage told her to go inside I was discussing things with her father ~ she went in the house n took off out the backyard. This was one time that DF saw his daughters ways ~ her attitude is/was ridiculous respect my home !!

The second incident was his daughter bulling my daughter for 6 months at school !! Oh don't you dare !! His daughter n her friend were bulling her , following her making her life miserable. He did talk to her through "text" about what she was doing. Sorrt but that is a pussy way to deal with the situation ~ texts can be taken the wrong way. Confronting his daughter was difficult for him ~ ummmm sorry my daughter counts ! The principal at the school got involved ~ sd claimed she wanted her belongings back that , that was the problem. Cool next day ALL of her belonging were returned n guess what ~~~ those freakin clothes sat in the principals office until the last day of school. Clothes were not the issue.

Point being ~ nip it in the bud. Set boundaries ~

The sd should never put her hands on ANYONE ~ use your words not your hands !!!

Move out or have DH and SD move out, until SD is of age and moved out of house. And pray that your ex does not use this to take your DD away from you.

Your daughter was not in a fight. A fight is when the two of you stand up and duke it out. She was battered. Go down to the local police station and they will give you a form to report the incident, this will help protect you from your ex filing for custody.

This was far far more than just a few blows. The SD is completely out of control. What if SD decides a knife should be used next time? No - you cannot allow someone like this in your home. If the SD had a normal life up until now and just lost it for once it would be completely different. As someone mentioned previously this was a prison type of intimidation and attempted theft backed up by several years of anti-social behavoir.

So now you must not allow the girl back into the house especially since she has a loving mother to go home to. (Note sarcasm).

As an aside I do think it would have been a good idea of the kids could have been treated equal in terms of possessions. Remember the difference between wants and needs. If your daughter was receiving more of her wants on a regular basis than the SD something could have been done to smooth that out. Jealously is a horrible beast to behold.

So now you're faced with the terrible fight of convincing your husband that his daughter must be cast out to the wolf (the BM) who will allow the girl to spiral down to her doom. It might be better to suggest that he set up a temporary household where he can care for his child there and you can care for yours without either of them involved. Something I've come to see as the best thing from the very start - i.e. no step-parenting at all by either of you.

In four years, or probably less in his kids case, the BD will be on her own having run away from all forms of authority.

Just thought of this ~ that crazy ass ex wife ~ is basically saying that your daughter deserved to get beat up because she has things the SD wants !!!

Hmmm so ~ if the SD wants the newest phone one of her friends has ~ she deserves to beat that girl up.

That bat shot crazy ex ~ is soo jealousy of what you n your ex can give your daughter.

Chin hanging moment ~ wow so she is encouraging her bullying behavior. She is my vote for MOTY !!! I'd beat that mothers ass !! The ex is a bully herself. How about teaching the sd ~ we give you what we can afford. You n your hubby didn't give your daughter the Ipad your ex did. How about ex teach her daughter there are boundaries n you need to respect other.

if this girl is in this much trouble already, its only a matter of time before she's pregnant or arrested.

that said, you probably SHOULD consider pressing charges. it could potentially safe her life and turn her around.

I was just in this situation two months ago but it was regarding false allegations from my OSS to my YDD. I told my DH that OSS was OUT OF MY HOME...and was not coming back until we had calmed down, spoke to a counselor and came up with options. I also told my DH that OSS would not be allowed back into our home unless he started and continued with counseling. And that DH and I needed to go to counseling also in order to work through this between us and together, because I was also very angry with DH. Dh's options were: 1) send OSS to his mother, and give her custody as he will not be back in my home. 2) Send OSS either to his mother or DH's mother until we spoke to a counselor, got OSS into counseling and he continued. OR 3) take your sons and find someone else and some other place to live.

Harsh? Yes. Difficult? Very. But OSS is now getting the counseling he needs. He is working on repairing the damage he caused. DH and I still struggle but we are still going to counseling also.

I would not allow my bios to harm someone like that and I expect that other people will not allow their kids either, and if they do...then they have no place in my and my kids' lives.

I agree. Were it me, a violent child does not come back into the home with other children until the child is in counseling AND has apologized to the other child. There has to be some disciplinary action in place, too, IMO, as well as a behavior plan and steps in place to prevent it. For instance, sd would lose the privilege of being in the home unsupervised, going out unsupervised, etc.

This is not the kind of behavior you let go this time, but next time there's gonna be some consequences. Nope. Violence is never acceptable.

IMO had her parents put her in counseling before, based on her behavior which was already unacceptable, this might have been avoided.

It comes down to this: counseling is never going to hurt someone who doesn't need it. Delaying counseling when it is needed, though, can hurt someone.

Okay, well, there are ALWAYS people in life that are going to have more than poor widdle SD. Is she going to be allowed to assault all of THOSE people as well??

Nuh-uh. No WAY this kid is allowed around my kid again. She needs swift and severe consequences and if your spineless DH and his useless ex aren't going to do it. YOU sure as hell need to!

I had the feeling of a child not being protected by a parent. It is a very very horrible feeling to have when you are defenseless and young.

I once took on a 350 lb guy because he scared my son twice - once was an accident, the second time it was because he thought it was funny to make a toddler cry. He didn't think it was so funny when I was chasing him around hitting him about the head and shoulders!