Ok, so my hormones are in full effect today, so that isn't helping this at all, but I am just so worn out from trying to be supportive and nice and have FDH's back and not feeling like he has my back. If I throw a fit about something then he will get it together for as long as the fit lasts, but that is about it. For example, I have been sick with a bad case of bronchitis. It was bad enough I actually stayed home from work for 2.5 days, which is unheard of, I never call in sick to work. Well, while I was sick in bed too weak to really do much, no house work whatsoever got done.

When I got out of bed three days into my illness I found every dish was dirty, all the clothes were dirty, the dog hair was starting to gather in drifts on the floor (I have two dogs, one Lab and one German Shepherd, I have to clean the floors daily to keep up with the shedding) trash was building up on the counters, on the table, and in the bathroom. My FDH was at home, he had been sent home from work for a week for some procedure violation at work. I went back to work still feeling really weak, and begged him, please clean up the mess since you are going to be sitting at home anyway. Do you think that happened? Oh, noooo. Because, you see, he had outdoor work that needed doing, and then he lost track of time talking to someone, and then he picked his son up from daycare to spend time with him and they went to poke around the things in his shed, and yadda yadda yadda, excuse, excuse, exuse.

I am so frustrated. The PMS doesn't help, but still, I feel I have every right to be frustrated. I have company coming today. an old friend I don't get to see often, and my kitchen is still a hot mess. I begged him to get it cleaned up, and he didn't get it done. I worked on it last night but didn't get it finished, I refused to stay up late and lose sleep when I had to get up and go to work the next day cleaning a mess he had four days to clean up. I don't normally ask him to take care of this stuff, but since I had been sick and hadn't been able to take care of everything myself, and he was off work, I didn't think my request was out of line. I want so bad to pile up everything he didn't get cleaned up on the bed and I will just go sleep on the couch, and just tell him since he likes his mess too darn much to clean it up, he can sleep with the crap. When he is working over time I am more than happy to do the outside chores because he is working extra hours and he is tired and I don't mind mowing and edging and and cleaning the yard because I know he is tired when he gets home. He doesn't have to worry about anything, his son is picked up, his dinner is cooked, his laundry is washed. How is it bad that I should expect the same support? I have been single for seven years, in that time I learned that there is no such thing as women's work and men's work, it is all just work. Apparently the same revelation has not hit my FDH.

He is a good man, but I am hurt and frustrated right now and need to vent. La, but I can't stand the thought of going home to that mess.