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Frustrated with DH and keeping my mouth shut (guys may want to refrain from reading this one)

evilsm's picture

I am so tired of keeping my mouth shut for fear of DH thinking that yet again I have a problem with SD. I don't care what I say DH always turns it around to be about SD and then accuses me of doing just that. I am at my wits end with this crap. Here is my weekend in a nutshell. This may be a little long, I really need to vent.

It actually started on Thursday night, I had been traveling with work for several days and came home Thursday night, very tired and irritable. DH had graciously allowed SD to visit with BM (insert sarcastic tone)but she called just as I got home and DH had to rush out to pick her up, heaven forbid she have to spend more than 2 hours with BM per week (she is supposed to have 50/50 custody). Long story...anyway

Friday night as I get home from work DH informs me that he has to take SD to some kind of competition on Saturday and plans to go trick or treating with her on Sat night (she is 14 in 5 days) and that SD is having a friend spend the night on Sat. OK, fine. I made my plans for Sat earlier and he understood.

Saturday I get myself together and ready to leave at about the same time DH is leaving and my car won't start. The battery was totally dead; DH jumped me off and told me to go to Advance and have the alternator checked but he couldn't go with me he had his thing to do, fine. I get my battery fixed and head to the mall, I am only there about an hour and BOOM, my period goes haywire and I flooded, it was really bad. I got out of the store toot sweet and to my car. DH called as I got into the car, he was almost home, I told him what had happened and that I would have to come home before going to the grocery store. When I got home I went straight to my bedroom to clean up and when I came out of the bathroom DH was sitting on the edge of the bed with his camera in hand asking me questions about how to download pictures he had just taken of SD. I ignored him and went out to my car to clean up out there too (I told you it was bad). Then came back inside to get my clothes cleaned up and in the wash, he practically followed me through the house asking me questions about this f-ing camera. Finally he askes "are you ok". I said no, I have all this stuff going on and am just not in a good mood. Then he goes on and on and on about this competition and how great SD's team is and yadda, yadda, yadda. I tried to listen and be excited but was just not in the mood.

Saturday evening SD comes home with friends yes, more than one. To go trick or treating and tells DH he is not welcome to go with them. He decides to stay home and SD and friends come back around 9pm. The next day he offers to make everyone breakfast and asked SD and friends what they wanted. SD named everything we had in the kitchen and DH went about making it for them. I am not a breakfast eater so I declined. At noon while we were in mid stream full out weekend cleaning DH asked SD and friends what they wanted for lunch. He again named everything we had in the kitchen; soup, sandwiches, he would make burgers, hot dogs, etc. Nothing appealed to SD, she walked into the kitchen, looked into the frig and pouted off to her room. DH then decided to go get some fast food for me. What?? I told him I would make a sandwich no need to go out we need to finish what we are doing. DH decided to go anyway, went and got SD and friends and they went to get fast food.

They picked up food and brought it back, SD ate half of it and threw the rest away. I just shook my head. I know better than to say anything. I know this is rambling but I just had to get this off my chest. If I had said at any point to DH:

- Can you wait one damn minute to download those pictures, they are not going anywhere. or
- I don't feel like dealing with company tonight can we do the spend the night thing another time. or
- You don't need to go get anything if SD does not want what is here then she can do without.

I would have been being a bitch and picking on SD in some way. DH has no problem telling me that BD or BS are wasteful for not finishing their food or being picky but I can't say the same about SD. I am just frustrated with this mess. Why does it have to be this way?

~Evil

helpmeinwi's picture

SAME ISSUES IN OUR HOUSE..THE 13 YR OLD ALWAYS ORDERS THE MOST EXPENSIVE THING ON THE MENU, THEN ORDERS MORE FOOD THAT A FAMILY CAN CONSUME, AND THROWS IT ALL AWAY....I DON'T GET IT EITHER....AND YES, BETTER OFF NOT SAYING ANYTHING, THIS WEEKEND MUST HAVE BEEN THE WEEKEND FOR WITCHES...OOPS I MEAN BITHCES!!!!

buttercup123's picture

Vent here, DH won't understand. She's a typical teen and he's jsut trying to make her happy. That's my advice. I've given up complaining about how the kids should eat healthier, while fiance takes them out to eat crap all the time because it's all they will eat. GRR hiss.

buttercup123's picture

Stepaside, you hit it dead on. I am setting a precedent right now and my FH stands by me. I have every right to parent and discipline them as it is our house and I help pay their way. The only reason it works it because FH stands by me and tells them that they had better respect my authority. And they do as a result. We never undermine the parenting the other has done. For example, if I say no to something, he agrees. If one does something bad and I'm there to ground him and set the terms of the grounding, my FH stands by it. You need to set rules together and enforce together or it will be really hard. Either his relationship with you will suffer or it will be her relationship with her. His current path is a no win situation.

evilsm's picture

Thanks for the support ladies. I really needed to get that off my chest. Stepaside, I see your point and will have to chew on that a while. I can certainly see things going just as you have laid them out as BM also saw this with the grown skids. I always thought she was the bad guy in this situation but time has shown me that no matter what your husband tells you or even what you see for yourself, there are always two sides to every story.

~Evil

If you want children to keep their feet on the ground, put some responsibility on their shoulders. ~Abigail Van Buren