Im doing it. Im gonna leave them
Long story short. I am from Belgium and i gave my life up to move to the person i wanted to be with in the United Kingdom. . Long story short,my almost ex dh is a disneydad. SS age 11 is a wet blanket. Never goes out with friends,not even before the whole covid. He just turned 11 and still hold daddees hand. Cuddles with daddy on the sofa and cant evem make his own sandwich. Never cleans up,takes a shower once a week. Me and dh work hard. So friday toll sunday i want some quality time. But its litterly them 2 non stop. Im tired from being invinsible. There are also 2 girls from his previous relationship. He broke up with the woman 2 years ago and he still considers them as theire own aswell. Whenever we meet strangers he still says that he has 2 daughters rather then 2 stepdaughters. I mean,the mum has moved on has a new boyfriend and he still calls them his own. He also has a tattoo with his ex name on hos chest. After 2 years of being here its still on here. I cant physically deal with ot anymore and prepared my exit strategy. Saved up cash and ready to move back. Im scared to tell him though.
Then don't tell him, just
Then don't tell him, just walk... Talk to a lawyer first though. He's not worth the effort.
Good for you for having
Good for you for having standards!
Is it possible to not tell him until you're about to leave? Start gradually selling off possessions you don't want to move, shipping some things home, etc?
Somewhere in the Future SM’s
Somewhere in the Future SM’s Book of Red Flags, this one should be there: “He also has a tattoo with his ex’s name on [his] chest.” There is a SM feeling like BM has put her brand on her SO, and then there is a SM literally knowing that BM has put her brand on her SO.
P.S. Agree with others to quietly see a lawyer, wrap it up legally as much as you can without him knowing prior to leaving, and then leave a note being as honest and nonthreatening as you can and owning up to your own part in it, and leave. Ordinarily I wouldn't advise such, but since you are in a foreign country and since it doesn't sound like your DH would be that understanding, it's best to get back on your own soil ASAP where you know the drill and would feel less threatened.
After reading your blogs, i
After reading your blogs, i would advise you to just go. Your dh does not sound like a quality partner. It sounds like you aren't married. I would just go. I read that you are in a same sex relationship. Hopefully that means there are many more child-free options for you out there than for us heteros of a certain age. Take this as a lesson and choose a man without kids next time.
Good luck!
Seriously, I don't understand ppl with children who get into relationships but don't actually want to be in a relationship, they probably just don't want to be alone with their children. (But I don't blame them either lol)
I read your prior posts.
you have a lazy ss who is being kept behind his years. He’s 10 and can’t make a sandwich or snack. His dad shouts at you for not bowing down to precious prince, shouts abuse or screams at you.
I have a 3 & 4.5 year old and even 2 years ago they were smart enough to drag a chair to the fridge or dining table to get their snacks and cookies. Believe me, a 10 yr old is way more capable of doing nuch more.
some of my family are belgians and they were brought up taking initiative, not being lazy and even as kids you didn’t keep bugging your parents for food, you went and got a snack or made a sandwich if hungry...
you going back to your country makes sense because this abuse will not go away... the fact you are in his country makes him think you are too afraid to leave him
Why are you scared to tell
Why are you scared to tell him? That he will react badly? Be cruel to you, even violent? If so, then only tell him at the very last minute or if the latter is the case, not at all.
If you fear he will be
If you fear he will be abusive, then just move out when he's not around and let him know after you go.
Having read your earlier posts
If I was you I'd pack up and go without telling him. He sounds too volitile.
IM sorry you are going through this
You will do well to follow the other posters advice - and BEST WISHES to you!
Don't tell him. Just go. Once
Don't tell him. Just go. Once you are back home across the channel send him a text.
Why make this any harder on yourself than you have to?
He is hell bent on kid worship, including kids that are not even his BKs and who he has not adopted. He puts his X and all three of those kids above his equity life partner.
There is no need to make things easy on him. Just go, end it, and move on.
Congratulations on starting your new life adventure with this tragic failed husband and father and his entire history fading into your past.
Where in Belgium is home? I worked in Leuven and lived in Brussles on and off for a year in the late 90s. A beautiful country with incredible history and wonderful people. Not to mention the beer.
OMG, I couldn`t imagine that
OMG, I couldn`t imagine that sometimes people deal with such difficult situations. I`m so sorry that it is happenning to you, I wish you to be strong and from now on do everything for yourself. If you feel bad, if you think that you are underestimated, then leave them