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I think my family could be in danger

Hoping for Help's picture

Without going into too much detail, my seventeen year old stepson has not been allowed to come to my house for the last few months due to his unpredictable and disturbing behavior. Enough concerning behavior has been observed to determine by my husband and I and the therapist involved that my stepson visiting our home causes a potential safety issue for my husband and I and our two young children (ages 3 and 5).

Recently, my husband was shampooing our finished basement which is also where my stepson's bedroom is located. We hadn't spent much time down there over the winter and so my stepson has been the only one in that area of the house as of late. I had not vacuumed the carpet down there since my stepson's last visit. The carpet was replaced when we first moved in two years ago. While my husband was shampooing he stepped on a sewing pin that was bent into the shape of a fish hook and sticking pointy side up out of the carpet. The carpet is thick and medium in length so it is easy to conceal a pin in the fibers and it can be undetectable when looking at the floor. He didn't think much of the pin and kept shampooing. Then in another part of the room he brushed up against another pin with his foot but this time didn't step on it. This pin was also sticking straight up and bent in the same way as the other pin and they matched each other. Again, he didn't think much of it but he did mention to me that he'd found another pin in the carpet after the one he stepped on. About a week later , just he other day, I found a pin in another's part of the carpet, bent the same way. I immediately noticed it was manually bent and asked my five year old if she had found the pin and bent it. She insisted that she didn't. Upon further inspection, I could see that it wouldn't have been possible for her to end the pin in that way, her fingers just wouldn't be strong enough but I believe her anyway. For some reason I kept the pin and didn't throw it away. Then I thought of it later when my husband came home and showed it to him. He immediately recognized the pin as looking just like the ones he had found while shampooing the carpet. We began suspecting foul play. Firstly, the carpet is new as of two years ago and our finished basement is primarily used for a preschool area for my two children. It is quite a controlled environment. I donsew but I don't use pins and I have only one small set of pins that are kept in their small case and they do match the length or color of the ball on the pins we found. I have no explanation for where these three pins could have come from. Also, I never see in the downstairs anyway. All of my sewing is kept upstairs. I have tried to come up with an explanation for how those pins ended up on my carpet and I cannot think of a better explanation than my stepson planting them there in the hopes that any one of us, including my children might step on them. I don't want this to be a reality but I do not know of a more likely explanation given all that is known about my stepson.

If this really is what happened, this causes me greater concern for my family's safety than I already had. I don't know how to handle this. My husband has already informed my stepson's therapist of what we suspect. My question is this: if he has the capability of deliberately attempting to harm my family, especially my young children, where does he draw the line of what he won't do? How does he justify this kind of. Wha our? What can I do to protect myself and my children from further attempts to harm us if there are any?

How would you handle this?

Hoping for Help's picture

I apologize for all the typos! I want to clarify that the pins found in the carpet do NOT match the pins in my sewing kit.

Rags's picture

This is just plain evil. Unfortunately there is no way to prove that the Skid's did it though the preponderance of the evidence certainly indicates that to be what happened. Keep them out of your home. I would were I you.

Unlovedwife77's picture

same!!

Acratopotes's picture

I would simply take the carpet out and leave him with a bare floor, he might be playing with needles and he might be a slob not picking it up, my own son had a stage where he would take my pins, bend them and try and build things out of it.

I simply told him touch my sewing stuff again and you will be sorry.. but then it's a bio not a skid.

Teenage boys are weird....

Hoping for Help's picture

We did not find any needles in my stepson's room. These needles were found in the open living area of the downstairs which is separate from my stepson's room. He definitely does not do things like play with items and build with them. He is seventeen and sits on his phone constantly.

Hoping for Help's picture

He has purposefully peed on the toilet seat and admitted to urinating on our carpet as well. He does a lot of passive aggressive things but this was the most sinister that I know of.

Hoping for Help's picture

Right, I see your point. You don't know the full story. That being said, if a seventeen year old came up to you and stuck you in the foot with a needle out of the blue would you find him to be a threat? What if he attempted to stick your young children? Just because he did this sick thing in a covert way, the intention was the same- to inflict bodily harm. He found a way to do it with pins but what is his limit? We have already suspected that he desires to cause physical harm towards my family and. Ow we have some evidence to back up the suspicion. My husband has been advised by the therapist to only meet my stepson in a public place if he makes contact with him. I am wondering what my stepson could be plotting next if he obviously believes that inflicting harm in us satisfies something in him in some way.

Hoping for Help's picture

Thank you, this is the kind of advice I was looking for. I don't want to go over the long history with my stepson that led to my husband and I being concerned to this level. Yes, there have been threats, theft, insinuations and plenty more disturbing behaviors on his behalf but I just wanted to know that IF this was a trap he laid (which I strongly believe it was) then WHAT might be the steps you all would take in response to such a thing.

Thanks

Hoping for Help's picture

Thank you, this is the kind of advice I was looking for. I don't want to go over the long history with my stepson that led to my husband and I being concerned to this level. Yes, there have been threats, theft, insinuations and plenty more disturbing behaviors on his behalf but I just wanted to know that IF this was a trap he laid (which I strongly believe it was) then WHAT might be the steps you all would take in response to such a thing.

Thanks

Thumper's picture

Thank God your 3 year old didn't pick the pins up and swallow them.

A few people posted your dh can see the 17 year old outside the home. That's true.

Why do you think ss is doing this?

Hoping for Help's picture

It is suspected that my stepson has a mental or personality disorder or a combination (possibly narcissism among other things) yet he is very opposed to any kind of therapy. He is in therapy now but refuses to acknowledge he has any issues- it's everyone else's fault/problem.

He has a deeply seated resentment toward my husband and I for having children of our own together. He is extremely envious of my children and of my family in general. No matter how hard we have tried to help mybstepson be a part of our family he has rejected us and refused to have a relationship with us. Instead, it's almost as if he wants nothing to do with being a part of our life but the fact that we exist and have a life outside of being centered around him infuriates him. It's complicated but I just worry about how far he will go tonseek revenge on us for existing and being happy. He's voiced heavily how disgusted he is by our happiness.

Solidshadow7's picture

I do not know the history that you have with your stepson. But he is 17. That's basically an adult. If he wanted to harm you or your children there are plenty of things way worse than a few pins he could think of to do it with. If this is a legitimate attempt to harm you, your SS is the least dangerous person on the planet.

Hoping for Help's picture

I am not saying that my stepson setting up pins in my carpet is the real danger. I'm concerned that if this is the direction hisnmind is headed in, what potential might there be for escalated attempts at hurting any one of us? It isn't the specific act of placing pins around the carpet for the purpose of us to step on them- it's the mental state you have to be in to think that is the right solution to solving whatever issue he's trying to solve. Hurt my family= I feel better. Pins can be just the beginning. How is this difficult for people to understand? I assume your an adult, is this acceptable "adult" behavior?

SMforever's picture

I think that if he is intentionally placing needles in the carpet, then he is a menace. No matter what others say, I think it's bordering on psychopathic behaviour to endanger small children in such a way.

My BIL stepped on a needle that had fallen in the carpet, it became sunk right in and infected. He had to have major surgery on his foot to dig it out and the whole expereince disabled him for quite a while.

I think you are being appropriately paranoid about his hatred and just hope your DH is determined to protect you.

Hoping for Help's picture

Thank you, I appreciate that. Yes, my husband is definitely concerned about our welfare. I can't imagine if it had been one of my little ones who stepped on those needles instead of my husband.