I don't know where I have been anymore
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I am having a hard time recently. My ex kept all the photo albums of the kids and would not release them to me . She would only agree to let me choose what pictures I would like then she would go to a photo place and have them copied on my dime. I never went to meet her to do this because we don't get along at all and she is just a A$$hole.How do I get over this ? I do have some pictures of my kids , but I can not replace many of the times we spent together. How can people be so cruel?
Maux, It has effected me in
Maux,
It has effected me in a very negative way. She also kept all my christmas orniments that I had collected over the years that you can't find. My fiance said that we will replace them with new ones.
Really, if you're not willing
Really, if you're not willing to take the time with her to get your photos, all you can do it start again from where you are. Think about it this way...your fiance won't have to feel insecure about having things in her home that you & your ex had together. You can start fresh.
BM did the same thing to DH-
BM did the same thing to DH- asked him if he wanted things of his she still had- these included DH's baby/childhood pics, his father's flag from his coffin, i.e. REALLY personal and irrecplacable things he had been asking for for years. He said "Ofcourse I want them!" Never heard from her again regardin gthem, and does not respond to any requests for them, probably burned them all.
Some people are cruel a$$holes.
We have all of DH & BM's old
We have all of DH & BM's old photos. BM left them behind when she took off. I figure it as her loss. She didn't care enough to take what she wanted when she left. DH is the one who packed them all up & cared enough to carry them to his next home.
I would say if it's important to you to have them, deal with the short time of discomfort & get your copies made. Otherwise, it's not her responsibility to go make copies of your past on her dime so you can have them.
How would you prefer to do it?
Storm, the same thing
Storm, the same thing happened here. We have ALL of the pictures, baby albums, etc. She just walked off and left them. I have never heard of anyone other than my DH that has happened to-most women make sure to take sentimental things like that. Of course, she burned the phone up wanting them back once I came into the picture.
BM actually sued DH for the
BM actually sued DH for the baby books & her cedar chest in their court battle. DH was ordered to give them back. DH told BM (5 years ago when the order was made) that when she could get a vehicle to carry the cedar chest in he would meet her halfway with it. He suggested she also bring someone to help her lift it because he wasn't going to give her a chance to say he damaged the car or the cedar chest in moving it. Her reply was, "Won't Stormabruin let you borrow her Jeep to bring it up here?" His response was, "I'm sure she would, but I'm not going to ask her. It's not her cedar chest. It's not her responsibility, & I'm not a delivery boy,". She hasn't mentioned anything about it since. I've taken everything of the kids & everything that would be important to the kids in the future out of it & put them in the attic. We've had sewage water come up in the basement twice since court. Of course we had it fixed. I've asked DH about putting the cedar chest up on blocks of some kind to keep it out of the water, as the basement still floods in heavy rain. He kind of nodded his head sideways to acknowledge my suggestion, but hasn't done anything with it. I figure he's not worried about it, so I'm not either.
As for the baby books, BM left when SS was 4 & SD was 2. All she wrote in them was BM's & Daddy's first thoughts when baby was born. In SS's book, she wrote that DH's reaction was concern because baby's face was smashed in, but that her reaction was "I told him that you was beautiful, & honey, you was the most beautiful baby I ever seen." In SD's book she wrote that DH said she looked like a turtle, but that her reaction was "I told your daddy that no matter how funny he thought you looked, I thought you was an angel. You'll always be momma's beautiful angel". I didn't figure the kids needed to read her BS. There are no pics in the book. No heights/weights, nothing about first teeth or first steps, dr appts, etc. Of course, she wouldn't know anything about their first days of school or daycare or loosing their teeth, because she was out living life without them during those years.
I don't feel bad for keeping her pictures. I find more appreciation in them than she ever would.
Have your kids bring the
Have your kids bring the albums the next time they visit. Copy them,then send them back.
My XW wanted all of our wedding pictures when she left me. Why .... because her next wedding would not be as nice and she wanted the memories?????? :?
I kept them. I am sure at the time that I had a good reason but now 20 years after our divorcej I have no idea why I kept them.
Interestingly, my XILs have our wedding picture (8x10) hanging on the wall in their living room. They have 3 grandkids by my XW and her 2nd husban (the geriatric Fortune 500 Sugar Daddy she left me for)and the only wedding picture in their home of their daughter is with me.
Kinda weird but my XILs are devout Catholics and my XW did not get an annulment prior to marrying her 2nd husband. To my XILs I am the only husband she has ever had though they seem to love their GKs and get along with XWs second husband.
I know this because occassionally I have run in to my XILs and I will go to lunch with them when we run in to each other. After lunch they insist I go to their home for coffee. There in the living room where it has been for 22yrs is a big wedding portrait of their daughter and I.
I have contemplated over the years boxing up the wedding picture and sending them to my XILs. After all, they paid for them.
Rags, she would never let
Rags, she would never let them bring over any photos or videos of them. She did that out of spite . She grabed them and hid them at her parents house before the divorce . I was stupid for not grabbing them first. She even took all the wall pics of my family and hid them and told the lawyers that I must of stolen them . Then after the divorce , they reappeared misteriously in her house!
I took all of my wedding
I took all of my wedding pictures when I left my ex. I have duplicates of almost all of them. I contacted my ex about 2 years ago to see if he wanted the copies & he said he'd like to have them, so I mailed them to him. Sadly, he admitted to the fact that he was still keeping our wedding picture & his ring in the side table drawer next to his bed. I reminded him that he has a child with someone else, & suggested that perhaps it was time to retire those things to a more appropriate place. I told him I felt it was disrespectful for him to keep those things in a place so convenient for other women to come across. I'd be pissed to find out the man I was sleeping with had those things in the drawer next to his bed. I rarely look through my old wedding pictures. Usually it's just to see how much weight I've gained since then.
But I do like to know they're there. I am sentimental & have a love for photos. I have them in albums, the same as I put DH's & BM's old pictures in albums. They are where anyone can look through them, but have gathered dust because no one has.
I would be pissed if I found
I would be pissed if I found a picture and ring next to the bed of a ex. I am happy that you were a good person to send him the copies of the pics. My ex argued in court that it would take so much time and money to do that. Also , she gave me back my x-mas orniments. Except they were the wrong ones that had my name and hers on it! I broke them to pieces and through them on her front lawn.Why do people have to be so evil ?
I figured I had copies
I figured I had copies myself. I didn't need the double prints too. However, the few that I only had one copy, I did keep for myself.
Honestly, (I know because I've done it with DH's pictures for skids scrapbooks) it is VERY time consuming & costly to make copies of all the pictures she's bound to have. Even if she scanned them & sent them to you or put them on a disc for you to save the money, it's still time consuming to scan them.
It's not something I'd be willing to do for BM. Of course, she left by her choice & she had the opportunity to take them. They just weren't important enough to her.