How to approach this issue?
Well, this weekend was SS9 visiting weekend. He is always picked up on Friday after school, and dropped off Sunday afternoon.
1) BM wanted him back at 7:30 Sunday. The visiting schedules were always around 12-3pm Sunday as a dropoff period. She calls every time trying to extend thouse hours so she can do god knows what herself the whole weekend. BF agreed to return him at 5:30. Im not happy but i can survive i guess. Her constant dissing of the kid makes me sick. Cant you spend at least one weekend with him??
2) This Friday started snowing. The kid shows up in sneekers. Broken sneekers. The type you wear in the summer. His feet are wet and cold. Its freaking snowing. BF asked him does he have winter shoes.. the kid answers no. This is not the first time she is shipping him off without clothes. He never gets weekend bag packed, she i think expects us to fund her part as well. Once it was broken jeans, now its lack of winter shoes. I mean, you are the mother ffsake... YOUR KID DOESNT HAVE WINTER SHOES! We buy him clothes occasionaly. But i wont have it funding his wardrobe as well as paying her CS. The CS should cover it, and she is support to fund some too. So we went to buy the kid new winter shoes. They didnt cost a fortune but its the principal issue. Upon returning the kid, he asked her where are his winter shoes. She said she offered to buy him boots (some kind i forgot) but he didnt want them. That was it for her. I mean, are you seriously asking a child does he want only one kind of boots and if he doesnt like them then you are going to let him walk in sneekers through the snow?!?!
3) The kid comes with uncut hair. BM claims she cant make him go to hairdresser. BF takes the kid without any problems to the hairdresser and gets him a haircut. No protest from the kid whatsoever. My thought on this is that BM didnt want to pay for the haircut so she constantly makes up excuses how she cant make him do anything.
How do you people deal with this issue? Am I being petty? I want to stop this thing from the beginning! I dont want to pay for her part of responsibility. Thats not my business. Should he buy him stuff he requires and deduct it from CS amount?
How to stop doing it? Let the
How to stop doing it? Let the kid walk in summer shoes so his feet freeze? Or let him walk around in broken jeans? I am afraid if this continues she will just expect us to pay for everything. She would be the happiest if he lived with us and we still paid her CS money. So sad.
Gee sounds like our bm. She
Gee sounds like our bm. She never cuts ss's hair. Ever. But my fave is that we do buy ss clothes. In fact this year, we have bought 90% of his clothes. To top it off-we never see them again. We send them home as dh wants him decently dressed for school and they enter some sort of vaccuum and they are never seen again. SS shows up wearing the same ill fitting jeans he wears everytime we see him and a 5 year old tshirt that is a hand me down from his sister. WTF? So I've told dh-it stops. I dont know if ss is wearing the clothes down there, if bm is giving them away, if ss or bm deliberately make sure he shows up in crap so we will take pity on him and buy more new stuff?
Yea we did buy him shoes, and
Yea we did buy him shoes, and no its not his fault she is so irresponsible. The fact is that I dont want to do her bidding for the rest of my life. She should either learn, or sign the kid off to us. She cant have it both ways. I am quite angry about it. Ofcourse we would buy him shoes, im not about to let him walk in those broken things through the snow so he could get sick. But i dont want to always do that. She should have some brain too. After all she is the one who wanted the divorce. She should take care of it.
The saddest thing of it all is that the kid now cries when he needs to go home. He is 9 but he is starting to realise who cares more about him.