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holidays

dadpets's picture

Hi everyone,just wondering if anyone has had this issue...I am a SF and a BF my skids do not like my partner and have decided,not doubt with some help from their BM that they will not come for holidys if my partner is in the same house.We cannot afford to have separate holidays and besides that,sending my partner out of the house or staying away for the day is not an option as im sure you would all agree. I dont want to put my partner through this as I have been single for 8 years prior to our 2 year relationship,kind of knowing this type of situation would occur with anyone I decided to be with. Seriously considering a hermit lifestyle. Any comments will be welcome.

smurf99's picture

hmmm personally i would sit your kids down and let them explain their reasons, how old are the kids? This could be coming from BM and/or they probly are having a hard time after 8yrs adjusting to fact dads not on his own now.Sounds like an ex thing though.
My advice is not to let your kids rule your life like this, next thing is they will want you to move your gf out. Its a tricky situation but if you give in on this then the kids will always control your situation. Pretty sad the ex hasnt moved on after 8yrs. Put your foot down and dont let the ex control your life through the kids, go to mediation and or sort out a proper court order for contact. Probly wouldnt matter who you had in your life i imagine??? Or confront the ex and state who is in my house when kids come is my business etc.

Disneyfan's picture

I'm wondering what role your SKs play in all of this.

If it were just a matter of not liking your partner, they would refuse all visits not just holidays.

dadpets's picture

Wow! Thank you all for the replies.I love my kids dearly (12D and 13S) they live 5 hours away so my time with them is limited to being only S Hols,to not even see them as it is now is hurtful to say the least,after going through the court system about 6 years ago,which really means S.F.A when the BM does whatever it wants with no repercussions,the paper is too rough to use in the toilet..any other suggestions for it?? I have resigned myself to the fact that I will always be my skids father.I agree that this is both a BM problem and also my kids being put off by my relationship.We do have a more stable environment here,we try to monitor what they watch on tv and the way they associate on the internet (FB). I have no control over my BD going steady with a 15 year old for example,or my son playing W.O.W for hours on end..SK's,they dont understand what is really happening (B5,B7)...Any resulting phone calls to BM usually results in her abusing me or my veins exploding from my temples from sheer frustration and the inability to strangle through the phone line.}:-)...anyway,thanks again everyone,Im feeling alot better now for having some neutral input which pretty much lines up with what I have been tumbling around my mind.

dadpets's picture

Yes,my kids dont like my partner,she cooks for them cleans for them buys them clothes and supports them emotionally,well,she used to. We have 2 kids here,skids. sorry for the mix up.