Had first therapy session today
We had our first sessions today and all I can say is I'd rather have a root canal with no drugs. Actually it was three sessions. The first was just me and him, then her, then all three of us. It was such a surprise when the therapist agreed with me. He said sd has some serious problems and it's all his fault. Who would have guessed that. Dr. X said she has a narcissistic personality disorder and possible bi-polar. I've said all along she needed a firm hand and therapy. Personally I thought she was a psychopath, how else can anyone explain all her violent behavior. The big surprise was he told his mother, thinking she would think it all was a bad idea, but she totally agreed with me. We're just starting to find out just how many bad things she has done recently and I have to admit it scares me. My mother in law told us that she hasn't let sd come over in the last few months was because the last time she was visiting she threatened her with a knife. She didn't say anything because every time she tells H that sd has done something he blows her off and it was easier to not have her around. At least now someone besides me is pressuring him to do something about her. We go back to the therapist tomorrow and will be discussing putting sd on meds. I told him after our session, in front of sd, that he has to make a choice either she goes on meds or one of us is leaving. Tonight he agreed it would be better for her to take meds. The way things are right now she's going to hurt herself or someone else badly and could end up in jail or worse. Thank you all so much for listening to me. I don't know if I would have had the courage to stand up for myself.
Great! Things sound like
Great! Things sound like they will be improving...now just make sure once she gets the meds that they are shoved down her throat each day! That will probably be the hard part, is getting her to take them. Good luck!
I'm so glad you went
"To Thine Own Self Be True" William Shakesphere
I know therapy can be traumatic, but look what you gained in just one session. Now your H can no longer treat you like a powerless victim. And, really, didn't it feel good to get it all out in the open?
It's so sad that these men will not own up to their actions, will not listen to our pain, until they are in the presence of a total stranger. But, while I continue my job/educaiton search, I am also going to try to find just the right therapist for us....it will have to be a man, as I clearly see that H (just like my first husband)places no value on a woman's intellect. If he won't go, I'll go alone. He won't like that. Again, it's going to be diffcult to find the right therapist in this small town, but I've got time.
You and I need to find our inner lioness. Bless ya!
H had a bad experience with
H had a bad experience with a psychologist once in the army so he thought they were all like that. I had been in therapy before with my sons. I was going through my divorce when my father died and it hit us all pretty hard. It was the best decision I had ever made until now. I guess sometimes you have to look real hard at yourself to find where your backbone went. I think once he knew I wasn't backing down he realized he didn't have a choice. Right now I'm having to bite my tongue to keep from saying I told you so to him. We had a loooong talk today and he's finally seeing that a lot of sd's behavior is partially caused by her mental problems. He's admitted that he is jealous of my relationship with my sons and that he wishes he had that with sd. It took a lot of work to be a good parent to my boys but they love and respect me which is all a parent can ask for or want. Now he needs to do the same with sd before it's too late. In the whole time I've known him (20yrs) I have never heard her tell him happy birthday, father's day or that she loves him. In fact a few years ago he was in the hospital with a ruptured appendix and all she cared about was that she might miss a field trip at school. That has happened over and over again. When his mother was in the hospital last month all that mattered to sd was the fact that we wouldn't let her have friends over while we were gone. I think he's finally seeing how destructive her selfish behavior is. Sometimes you have to put your foot down hard and that's what I'm doing now. If she refuses to take the meds she's out of here. Speaking for all women in this situation, Ladies we deserve better and we will get it, if not today then soon.