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cgrimm's picture

So, SD18 stopped talking to DH the minute she turned 18. Hasn't talked to him in six months (I'm sure at her mothers behest). BM is demanding that he help pay for SD's college. NO GO lady. Maybe if she pulls her head out of her stuck up ass!
Anyway, he wasn't even invited to her high school graduation. Now for those that have read my entries you know my DH has gone through HELL for those kids. He pays $1400.00 a month on time for 10 years on 2 kids, and dealt with a crazy, Narcissistic BM the whole way. We get a call from MIL that her, FIL, SIL x 2 and BIL x 2 were invited not only to the graduation but to lunch with BM, BM's husband, BM's mother and SD 18 and 15 and then to BM's HOUSE for a party. They ACCEPTED! People, we do not negotiate with terrorist for a reason. Their reason is they wanted to show SD 18 support. I'm so tired of everyone acting like she's been KIDNAPPED. She chose to stop talking or having anything to do with them.
Maybe I'm wrong but to me the appropriate thing would have been to tell SD that they loved her, would be at her graduation, they were proud of her but if DH wasn't invited to the graduation they would not be attending dinner or her party. (I would even be ok with them going to her house, I don't expect her to invite DH there) but he wasn't even invited to her actual graduation!! Felling perturbed!! Now I've gone from a family I love to be around to barely being able to stand in the same room with them.

SMforever's picture

You are mixing up two separate issues. First, .let DH deal with the silent daughter himself,let him decide how much $$ if any, to,fork over for tuition. Hopefully he will exercise the right choice on that. He should hopefully teach her the lesson that respect goes both ways and just turn off the money tap until,she grows up. And BM should go suck eggs. He shouldn't even discuss it with BM, unless its part of a court order. You should stay quiet, he has enough stress dealing with the sulking without you chiming in.

As for the grandparents, she is their granddaughter and their relationship,with her should not depend on her current dealings with her father. Sure it's a piss off that they are playing both sides, but they are also wise enough to know,that even if she is sulking with Dad, they should not have to cut her off to,defend him. Your GD only graduates once even if she is,a little beotch.. I think you are just ticked that they are socialising with BM and her kin, well, it's likely only so,they can, as they say, support the GD. It's all about them and their memories. They probably think you couldn't give a toss what they do, and quite frankly, that might be the healthiest choice for you to make.

I say just let them all fart around slapping each other on the back. Book a spa day and be glad of your relative freedom. At least the CS should stop soon. Oh, and don't expect anyone to,ever thank Dad for the CS.

TwoOfUs's picture

Weird. I thanked my parents all the time for providing things for me...wants and needs. My parents taught me gratitude.

So, yeah...I think kids should thank NCP. Maybe not for CS specifically but for providing. Of course, they don't usually think of that.

It does suck to be NCP as it makes your contribution virtually invisible. BM takes kids for a meal or gets them new shoes. It's your money in the bananas well as hers...but she's the one who whips out her card so, in the kids mind, she's the one who's providing.

TwoOfUs's picture


OK. You can ask my parents...or my mom since my dad died at 49.

I'm not saying I was perfect but that my parents taught me gratitude. Also, my dad got seriously ill when I was a teen, so I had to grow up pretty quickly.

So, yeah. I thanked my parents a lot for the sacrifices they made when they were raising me and my siblings. It annoys me when coddled CODs are so ungrateful and turn their backs on their dads. My oldest SD was like narcissistic beyotch and everyone excused it because "she lost her dad." It's BS.

TwoOfUs's picture

No, of course. But do you expect your kids to be grateful to him for what he provides? I think that's what she's saying since she specified "thank dad"

SugarSpice's picture

it always amazes me how the skids are mean to their own father until the need for money arise.

my skids failed to call their father or send cards for occasions or fathers day, and then got stupid sappy and suck upy around the times of christmas or birthday.

dh needs to get some pride and understand when he has been spat on.

cgrimm's picture

There is NO WAY I'm going to let DH just decide what he wants to spend on her. I work two jobs to keep us afloat and to take his little princess sd-15 and her friend to Disney World Universal Studios and Epcot this summer not to mention he gave her a graduation card with $500 in it while I'm working two jobs.

IslandGal's picture

^^This!!^^ It is absolutely betrayal. What the hell ever happened to being loyal to your own family? Divorce means why on earth act like alls still roses when it isnt? What chance does a new relationship have when families continue to cross boundaries and forget about being mindful and supporting their own family members? Especially when the BM is a controlling, psycho POS who encourages PAS?

No bloody wonder it all falls to shit when a new partner comes along. No wonder COD kids continue to cling to the fantasy of their parents reuniting and thereby treats the newcomer like pond sucking scum. Families like these have no idea how they are totally effing up the entire situation. I believe they do it for show the world how mature they're being. When in actual fact, they are spitting in their own bloods eye and showing they care more about themselves. If they were genuine and loved and supported SO or DH, they would attend family functions with his new family only. You dont show love and support by continuing to act as though they were an intact family and not actual divorced!