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Finally STOOD UP FOR MYSELF

bananashake's picture

OK...this is good, surprisinly I am actually happy about this.

So most of you who read my forums know about my BF (has a boy and a girl, both toddlers) who has a female friend with a big mouth and an attitude. BF cannot stand her but is nice to her and is civil cause she married his best friend (even though she originally wanted to get with my BF). This girl has spent months trying to get me to move in with BF cause 'the kids need a stable home blah blah blah'.... and HIM and I agree that neither one of us want to move in. To be frank, I think us moving in will be more destructive to the relationship, so really what's the point?? He's fine with letting me do my own thing and me letting him.

Anyways, BF has been working nights so his grandma has been taking over with picking them up from school and bathing them. Female friend calls me up to say, 'So why the fuck aren't you there to help?? I don't see how you can go on day by day without being there to HELP!!' I said, 'I'm not listening to this shit, I am not going to be reprimanded for my own choices.' CLICK (hung up) She texts me yelling to have a 'Nice fucking life' how she doesn't have time for my insecurities, that I am turning a blind eye to the kids. I texted, 'No, just not interested in hearing your judgemental garbage, fuck you very much. Toodles!'

I wasn't going to say anything of the spat to my BF until he texted me FIVE MINUTES LATER with a whole boatload of texts from female friend saying 'She can fuck off!! I am done with her!!! We are no longer friends!!! You won't be seeing me or your best friend for a long time!!! Remember is was ME that said it!!!" He told her (as I requested), 'I'm not getting involved, and I'll leave that between the two of you.' She stopped texting him. Me and my BF laughed our ASSES off at it all...though he wasn't impressed with what she said.

Next morning I get a long drawn out text from her, 'I want to apologize for what I said, I never meant to come off so rude! I am just geniunly concerns for the kids! I hope our friendship is not written off and we can continue to talk! I don't expect a response to this text!' I was nice and just said 'Apology accepted, hope you're having a good week' Done.

I owe this forum a TREMENDOUS thanks for validating my feelings and giving me the balls (and ammo) to stick to my guns, LOL. Lately I have been feeling very confident in my life choices to pursue my goals, choose my friends, and live my life without explaining to anyone or cow-towing to anyone trying to dictate my choices.

Lately she has been watching her words with me but I'm sure another one's going to come up. She's the type to flip her lid if someone doesn't attend her kids' birthdays, holidays, etc.

That said...I 'coincidentally' booked a full day at the spa on the same day of her son's 3rd birthday party....I'll probably be back here telling her reaction when I tell her I ain't going. LOL!

tbloanlady's picture

You are wise to not get involved with the day to day chores of raising someone else's kids. I had a boyfriend who would bring his kids to my house every other weekend & dump all their crap at my house. He would proceed to lay by the pool & drink beer all weekend while I took care of his kids, age 5 & 8. I had a 1 year old of my own to take of too. The 5 year old still wore pull ups. I eventually had to tell him not to bring them back.

bananashake's picture

I appreciate your comment. I don't want to move in cause I KNOW I'll be expected to do the day to day skid crap, and not just by him but by EVERYBODY. I like my quiet place where I don't have to hear Dora or Treehouse turned up sky rocket volume high....AARRGGHHHH. That's HIS job in my opinion.

Jsmom's picture

You handled it great....Proud of you. Who the hell does she think she is? These kids are not your problem....

bi's picture

fdh has a female friend who is a rude, obnoxious bitch who has a habit of saying inappropriate things and making everything her business, too. i found out a few months ago from sd19 that this bitch was monitoring my fb page, finding scandal in absolutely everything i said, and was reporting everything back to fdh's sm, who is another meddling cow. (his dad is such a sweet man, i will never understand how he ended up with her). i sent her a text asking if she had any questions for me. she said "no, i'm good." of course you are, you bitch. rather than ask me what's going on and get the facts, it's more fun to twist everything i post into something you want it to be, (last summer was horribly hot and i don't handle the heat well. so if i griped about how hot it was and said i didn't feel good, it meant i was pregnant) giving you fodder for your gossip mill. i just blocked her on fb, deleted her off my phone, and told fdh what happened and what i did. he hasn't spoken to her in ages, either. i think she's probably out of our lives now. he was her friend for many many years, but she's changed so much over the past 4 years that he can't even stand her anymore.

don't give this woman a chance to do you wrong again. keep her at arm's length. get her out of your life altogether if need be. not having information just starves them. so cut off their way of getting it.

alwaysanxious's picture

I am so glad you did this finally! That woman was driving me nuts. She is a freak!!!

Yes I'm sure you are so upset that you two are no longer friends. :sick:

She'll be the type that will try to do something to get back in to your business. THAT'S why she apologized. I predicted she'd do that before I finished reading the blog.