It is as important to me as my biokids are. I attend every game, school event, team party and usually am the one planning it.

It really depends on the dynamic of the blended family in situations like this. For us, we have been together since the kids were 1 year old. They don't know any different than for all of us to be there supporting them.

Nope, I don't involve myself only because SD14 had made it clear to me that she doesn't want my involvement. Take tonight for example, DH and SD14 have agreed to have certain Tuesday night dinners. He suggested bringing her to our place, having a homecooked meal and then playing board games or whatnot to "bond". She said she'd rather just have him take her out to spend that time alone together for "daddy/daughter" time...so have at it I told them! I'll go out alone!

Not important at all. Skid makes it clear that I'm an intruder and he wants me gone. Why would I want anything to do with someone like that? I tolerate him visiting until he's 18. Then he will never sleep under my roof again unless he learns to show some damn respect.

SD9 started playing basketball this year. I went to tryouts and one practice. I don't feel the need to go to them all and I don't really want to. I'll probably go to a game here and there, if even that.

Halloween is a BIG deal for me. Not only is it my favourite holiday, it's also (I'm Pagan) one of our biggest Sabbats. Last year I went with DH to take the skids trick or treating. I don't want to this year if he's taking them. I'd rather spend time with my daughter teaching her about Samhain and starting to teach her rituals. So that's what I'm doing. If DH doesn't like it, too damned bad.

This is horrible...
But the only time I voluntarily attend this shit is when DH will go without me... and I don't want them or BM to think they've pushed me out of something. I go to prove a point - that they're not going to get rid of me. Any other time, I try to get DH and I BOTH out of crap like this.

I attended everything of SD's just like I did/do for my biokids.
But... I WANTED to. I think there's a big difference.

I go to everything that I can 'reasonable' go to. That translates to...if it comes down to missing my own bio's events then I don't go, if I have work or other obligations then I don't go. In other words, I make an effort but there's no expectation that I will be at EVERY event.

I go not so much for my SD (she treats me as if I don't exist so I don't care to please her) but more for my DH to support him as a parent.

Even my own kids events, I TRY to be at all of them. However it's not always possible. I think its important for them to feel supported. They know I want to be there. They know I will if I can. I also think it's important that they learn that they aren't always top priority. They need to learn how to juggle life's never ending list of obligation. They can start to learn that by seeing their parents do it. Feeling satisfaction in your life is a lot about balance. I try to model that for my kids.

I am not 'super-mom' and I don't try to be.

I have no intention of ever attending any of sshits crap again! I went to a couple of concerts for sshit15 last year, very awkward with bm and her boyfriend their. I will not participate this year. My ds13 already had one special band moment this year and dh didn't go to see it with me. Bdays..I don't do them for the sshits. We will buy a cake and some ice cream but that is as much effort I am willing to put into them. They are horrible rude little people and I just can't celebrate that. Holidays use to be so much fun for me. I loved to pull out the bins of decorations and do up the house, but after last year I wont do it any more. When putting away my fall/halloween decorations I cound carvings in my strofoam pumpkins, broken figurines, etc. I talked about it with my bs13 and he says he doesnt want the house decorated because they (sshits) will just destroy it all. And christmas..there is nothing fun about watching two "entitled twerps" get everthing that they ask for and then bitch that they didn't get what they wanted or are bored within half an hour of opening gifts.

As a former Basketball and Track Mom, I feel it's very important to support kids ins Sports. In the beginning, I was at every game SS had whether football, soccer or whatever. Never mind that he has not an athletic bone or desire in his body. But I digress.. Lol I was there for practices, gathered equipment, did homework in the car on way, etc. BM was hardly even there--always coming in at last moment to pick him up, never attending any practices. It was frustrating b/c she didn't work with DH on choosing the sport, the venue or anything--just told him when to show up and what to pay so several seasons, we'd be 15-20 miles outside of where she or we lived! When she had him, she always forgot stuff so we were always scrambling to meet her or go by her garage or just having to buy it all over again on the way; she has never made anything easy to help her.

In the last month before we moved, I had stopped going to his games because the relationship with DH and I had deteriorated and I could no longer stand by and bite my tongue when BM put on her Mom of the Year show for showing up once in a blue moon. I could not stand her yelling and screaming at the kid or if he did manage to do something decent, listening to her take all the credit, bragging about taking him to extra practices during her 'off time' (which means she went for 30 minutes 1 day of the week, like 2 times in 6 weeks). I was just sick of her and sick of DH running us raggedy so for sake of peace, I stopped going. I went to one game earlier this Month. Monday is the banquet and I don't think I'm going. If he does something worthy in academics, I'll be there but I think I'm done with sports support.

Not important to me.

I did all of those things with DS21.

DF will plan parties for SDs5&7. I help out, not take charge.

I don't attend school plays. Sorry, I'm not missing work in order to see SD7 do the Wobble.

I will attend open school night with DF. BM hates this because she does not want me to know that the girls aren't doing well in school.

Since the girls don't do anything (sports, dance, art, music...) I pushed DF to put them in girl scouts. This is the only thing I take the lead on and go all out for.

my skid lives with me 24/7 so i'm sure if he has to be in a play or something at school, i'm pretty much gonna have to go. BUT when it comes to chaperoning school trips and stuff, i ONLY go on my bios trips and i ONLY volunteer in my bios classrooms. SKID is not my kid, and I really don't want to spend any more time with him than I already have to. If he goes on a trip and wants a chaperone, let his FATHER or grandmother go. But things like drs. appts i try to go to cuz dad's clueless!

How important is it to me? Not very. But I still go when it is feasible. Will I miss work? No.

My BIOS are much younger, and bs3 is just now starting to have school stuff. I have gone into work late a few times to participate in school activities.

I used to go to all the skids thing at school, and took off work if needed. I spent my every Saturday taking them to swimming, soccer ect ect. Not anymore. They are too ungreatful and rude. But Dh doesn't do it either so when I dropped the ball, he never picked it up.

So basically, its not important to me to be there, but I know that its important that SOMEONE be there, so as long as I don't have to miss work I go to skid stuff.

not important to me at all. i didn't go to any of sd's cheer competitions. i don't care. i'm not willing to get up at the crack of dawn and drive 2 hours to watch her. she's not my kid and i don't owe it to her. now that she's older, i'm still not interested in anything to do with her. i didn't go to her baby shower last month, and i won't be going to see her in the hospital next month. she is fdh's kid. not mine. being with him does not mean i owe her anything, or that she is automatically a part of my life. she chose to shit on every effort i made, and the result is that i don't give a rip about anything to do with her anymore.

BM and her husband would exclude us from attending these events by not informing us or letting SD41 tell us (sports, cheerleading, plays, parties, teacher conferences, etc.). If we found out about an event, we'd go to show support for SD41. SD41 would ingore us and act like she didn't know us and BM would look surprised we were there and sit there with a sour look on her bitchface. It was really unpleasant, but we always tried.

DH called the school and wanted to participate in conferences each year because SD41 was such a poor student. BM always told SD41 she was probably retarded and a poor student because she got her brains from DH's side of the family (really? SD41 is also a hoe and we know what side of the family THAT came from!). The school staff all acted like DH was some kind of perv and wouldn't cooperate without written permission from BM. Which she didn't give. We had to have the attorney write a letter before they'd include DH. It was ok with them when BM/her husband attended though. I think BM made up some kind of lie about DH to make them act this way. BM/her husband were good at hostile PAS games. And lying.

I can care less about the kid, sounds horrible, I know. But he's a brat and frankly he doesn't show any respect to anyone but his mother, who does NOTHING for him (FDH has kid FT). I might attend one basketball/football game a year, that's it. I only go to keep honey company.

Not anymore. Tried and failed.

I've gone out with SO and the skids for Halloween a few times and also to my father-in-law's house with the skids every Christmas. If their birthdays fall on a day they're at our house for visitation, SO and I will do something special with them together. Other than that, I don't really attend any of their functions. They don't even ask me to attend, and I'm not hurt! My SO goes to plays and open houses at school but doesn't really like to because he can't stand his ex-wife and ex-in-laws.