DW still co-sleeping with SD17

Forums:

DW has made a lot of progress with SD17 (mainly by sending her away to live with the bio-daddy), but today she let it slip that she still occasionaly co-sleeps with SD17. I travel a lot for work, so it is only when I am out of town, but it definitely still happens.

This just strikes me as really creepy and inappropriate. What is the consensus out there? Is it ok to co-sleep with you teenage children, in the same bed that you normally share with your spouse?

I am 41 yo and I still crawl

I am 41 yo and I still crawl in bed with my Mom if I am going through something!!

not trying to upset others,

not trying to upset others, but I personally find it creepy. Maybe it was because I wasn't raised in a super affectionate home, but even when me and my nieces got a hotel room for them to play in the indoor pool, the 12 year old niece slept in the same bed as me and it felt awkward. No way would I be sleeping with my 17 yr old DD unless it was traveling, etc. just odd.

I see no problem with co -

I see no problem with co - sleeping. But NOT in the bed that I have sex in. YUK!

If sex makes an object/room

If sex makes an object/room off limits, then my son and SKs are in trouble. Their bedrooms are the only "safe" places in. our home.

Poor kids can't sit on the sofa, or love seat. They can't use either shower. The dining room and kitchen are off limits.

Bwwwwwahahahahahahaha!

LMFAO!!!!!!! That's how our

LMFAO!!!!!!! That's how our place is.

Can you imagine saying

Can you imagine saying "kids...sorry....stay off our bed, kitchen counters, the shower and bathtub, the hallway, the stairs, the lazy boy, sofa and love seat in the living room and it's probably best if you don't touch the washer any longer either. Oh yeah, last weekend we went to the drive-in. So you can't sit in the back seat of the car any longer, we're just gonna have to strap you to the roof......."?

Dang it....you made me spew

Dang it....you made me spew tea all onto my keyboard!

Keyboard... damn, another

Keyboard... damn, another things they aren't allowed to use.

HAAAA!!!! I LOVE IT!!!!

HAAAA!!!! I LOVE IT!!!! same here!!!

I still let my D7 sleep with

I still let my D7 sleep with me if she had a nightmare. And on weekends I'll let my D14 sleep with me if she wants. It's not that often though.

I don't know why, but I think it's okay for a mom to let her daughters sleep with her, but I don't think it's okay for a child to sleep with their opposite sex parent, i.e. dad sleeping with daughters, mom sleeping with son.

I also had a problem when I was dating this guy - he was still letting his 7 year old son sleep with him. I know it sounds sexist, but something about a boy still sleeping with his dad seemed weird.

I don't ever recall a moment

I don't ever recall a moment in time that I crawled in bed with my parents. Ever. And I'm 46.

I have never allowed my kids to crawl in bed with me, even thru the toughest times (when their dad passed). I would sit with them in their room(s), or we would all sit on the bed for a while talking or when it was time for the night-time story to be read. But when it came to sleeping, everyone had their own place to be. there were even times during the night one or both would wander into my room, and I would get up and redirect them back to their bed(s).

I had to draw the line with my first husband's mom, who thought it was OK to have ALL her grandkids sleep in the bed with her (2 girls, 2 boys plus her). She would still have them doing that today (DD is 15 and DS is 12) if it was up to her. Not like she didn't have any beds available, they lived in a 5-bedroom house. I finally told her when my DS was 7 or so that he needed to sleep in his own bed, or he needed to come home to sleep.

I know, I'm probably mean that way. But my kids have not (that I know of) suffered any psychological damage from it. I guess if they realize later in life that they did, they can send me the therapy bill.

^^^^^This. It has nothing to

^^^^^This. It has nothing to do with a jealous stepparent when you're talking about your bio mother...

I'll be going home to stay with mom in Detroit for 10 days. She offered her bed to me (she just got a new Tempurpedic mattress) but never once did she say "you can sleep next to me". She simply offered her bed in case I didn't want the couch

I'm 40, she's 56. I would find it awkward to sleep next to mom and we have an excellent and loving relationship. I don't find it weird at all to NOT want to sleep next to my mom as a full grown adult...

Frankly I believe men and

Frankly I believe men and women will have a different take on this. Since its happening only when you're away and not creating a real problem I'd forget about it. Unusual - yes. Would it be considered a psychiatric problem? No.

I had a step-daughter around 17 who would 'flash' me occasionally for a few months. Unfortunately we didn't have the web available to help me and I just ignored her. Later I found that about 10% of young women will find a safe male, uncle, teacher, i.e. someone she believes won't go over the edge, and test her sexual attractiveness. Unusual - yes. Out of bounds? - no according to the professionals whom I consulted later in life. Now I take it as a compliment that she trusted me but if I could go back I would have told her she's very attractive - so attractive that she can now stop doing that.

The point being that I don't consider your step-daughter and wife to be doing anything that requires any intervention at all. Fringe activities are not sick activities.

**

LOL!!! ^^^^

How do you manage to twist

How do you manage to twist things into something so disgusting?

I supposed each time this child flashed you, you gazed for a moment & then looked away, but never touched...? :sick:

How do you allow that to happen multiple times over a period of several months & not tell her to stop? Did you tell your wife?

What do your inappropriate sexual encounters with your underage stepdaughter have to do with a mother & her daughter sleeping fully-clothed in the same bed?

Your pizza hat is seeping in

Your pizza hat is seeping in to your brain again...

If my child OR stepchild..hell, neice, nephew, friends kid... anyone... was flashing me, I would have a serious issue with it and I'll be damned if it happened more than the once.

It wasn't as bad as it

It wasn't as bad as it sounds. She was always covered by something and at first I thought it was accidental and just ignored it. Ignorant and would I have done things differently now? Of course. Unfortunately not all of us are the genius types, experts in child raising and general guardians of morals who have responded to my post.

This girl was as flat chested as they come and very conscious of it. I was afraid if I 'rejected' her she would take it seriously and have long term or permanent effects on her self-awareness or image. Apparently it worked as she quit in a few months - I can't count the incidents but it was perhaps 4 - and she seems well adjusted in her life.

The peek of a flat bra, is hardly a turn on girls, you highly over-rate me. But that's easy to do in hind-sight isn't it?

The two professionals I spoke to about it decades later at a medical conference said that this is normal behavoir for girls, unusual but not considered abnormal and ignoring it is one way of handling it. So ladies - f... off.

You have to admit OCC, that

You have to admit OCC, that is not something that you hear every day. Pardon "us" if we reacted in a mannor that offended.

Personally, I don't know how I would have reacted. Ignoring wouldn't be on my list of options.

I am glad it worked out. Hope this young ladies self exteem has improved.

"I was afraid if I 'rejected'

"I was afraid if I 'rejected' her she would take it seriously and have long term or permanent effects on her self-awareness or image."
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This is ridiculous. Is that to say that if she were to flash you without a bra or if she were to make further advances you wouldn't 'reject' her for the sake of risking long term or permanent effects on her self-awareness or image?

I can't imagine your wife would feel that it isn't as bad as it sounds...her child flashing you & you did nothing to let her know that her behavior was inappropriate.

In a previous post you stated that men are hard-wired to take in the sights of an 11-year old's crotch, & here you say that the "peek" of a 17-year old's bra is hardly a turn-on.

That's gross.

Pizza hat...

YAY!! My fav HAT!

LMFAO! I dunno what kind of

LMFAO!

I dunno what kind of pizza is on that one, but it's obviously some kind of crazy. I just want mine with pepperoni.

It's that one topping, that

It's that one topping, that when ingested, it makes it ok for underage girls to flash you so long as they are flat chested and have a bra on. What's that topping called again??

Oh yeah.... INSANITY.

...with extra grossness.

...with extra grossness. It's not perversion, though, if you only look & don't touch. :sick:

So all you "peeping toms" out

So all you "peeping toms" out there... you are OFF THE HOOK, so long as you have your pizza hat on!

Its hard to imagine sleeping

Its hard to imagine sleeping with a parent but I sometimes jump in bed with my mom at 3-4 am when she falls sound asleep and insist that she plays patty cake with me. Not usually that immature but it pisses her off yet she loves it. I wonder who longs for the overnight sleeping together, the parent or teenager. I don't view it as harmful and they keep you out of it which is good!

I agree with you, it's

I agree with you, it's completely "creepy and inappropriate." I would have a problem with that.

When I was younger my dad

When I was younger my dad would occasionally work night shift and I would sleep in the bed with my mom. Actually just the other day I went over to her house and she was asleep and I climbed in bed with her. I think it just depends on the family. That was always normal in my home growing up so it never occurred to me that it could be inappropriate.

When I met my DH I thought his family was a bunch of freaks. They would all just walk around in their underwear. His older sister even came out of her bedroom in her bra and panties in front of me, her mom and dad, and her brothers. I would have been mortified it my dad or brothers would have ever saw me like that. I guess it's just all how your raised. That was normal to them.

I kinda feel sorry for the

I kinda feel sorry for the people who think it's creepy or inappropriate for children to sleep with their moms. I was not raised that way, but wish I had been. It is completely different for my kids and me. My dd10 sleeps with me sometimes. She hasn't for a while, but sometimes she just wants to, I don't know why. My ds11 slept with me when he was sick, so he wouldn't have to come all the way downstairs if he woke up struggling to breathe (was watching for pneumonia).

To the OP, you aren't even there and didn't even realize it was happening, so let it go.

^^^This is your opinion and

^^^This is your opinion and not based on any fact or research. There are numerous benefits to co-sleeping and attachment parenting. As a matter of fact, children of AP parents are usually better adjusted and more secure than children who are forced to "self soothe" and left alone in the dark all night.

http://www.sheknows.com/parenting/articles/950105/6-benefits-of-co-sleep...