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The dreaded Baby Shower for YSD, at BM's home

Disillusioned's picture

So I went to the Baby shower for YSD at BM's along with my sister yesterday

BM herself was fine. When my sister and I first got there we were chit-chatting outside with a couple of YSD's friends/introducing them to my sister, etc.. and BM stood there with the door open staring at us the whole time. When we finally made our way to the front step and into the house BM looked at first like she was going to be nasty to us, then she seemed to snap into "Happy host mode" and put a big smile on her face and was super friendly to us both

She was like that for most of the shower, the only issues were really just DH's sister (yes no big surprise) and OSD - she was quite the nasty manipulative SD this time round

Once my sister and I stepped into the house, I see right away that DH's sister is seated on a chair looking directly into the front entrance. She clearly saw me come through the door, she saw me chit-chatting with another of YSD's friends, she saw me hand a pretty arrangement of flowers to BM.

DH's sister sat there and watched the entire time BM and I exchanged pleasantries, chatted with my sister, then big hugs and hellos from YSD who also came to the door to greet us.

DH's sister sat and watched as I followed BM to the table she had put munchies on so I could add the food I had brought, at OSD's request, to the shower.

And finally, DH's sister was sitting right there when my sister and I finally made it into the living room. I said a pleasant hello to everyone as I walked into the room, several people pleasantly said Hi back, but of course DH's sister did not say one word. In fact, she turned around facing away from us and starting chatting to someone else at the moment we stepped in the room. Making it obvious that she wasn't going to so much as say Hi.

Sooooooo immature.

And I don't like that she was rude to my sister that way. My sister has always been nice to DH's sister, has even helped her out in the past (only to be spoken to rudely following that) and so is well aware of DH's sister's "issues" but that still made me have to bite my tongue from actually saying something to DH's sister yesterday

I didn't. I ignored her right back instead

And then surprisingly, a few minutes after that, she said a forced-sounding and slightly sarcastic "hi". I answered with "how are you?" she said good, I said great, and moved right on past her Biggrin

We did not say one word to each other for the entire rest of visit. She left about 20 minutes after I got there. But not before her, BM and OSD all hung out in the kitchen loudly laughing and carrying on with one another Wink

OSD on the other hand, before all that, was just oh so chatty with my sister. Oh so happy to see her, and fill her in on what's happening in her life. Other than her own sarcastic hi to me a little while after I got there, she completely ignored me although my sister and I were sitting right beside each other. OSD happily chatted with my sister as if I wasn't even there, never so much as even looking in my direction. I completely ignored her in return. Made myself busy chatting with everyone else in the room/introducing myself to those I didn't know, and made sure to have a great time.

We brought beautiful gifts for YSD, made a fuss over her, took some nice pictures of her (some with OSD) but made no fuss over OSD or SGD who was with her.

I did give everyone - YSD, BM and OSD a hug, and a thank you when we left - but just wasn't getting caught up in any of the step-drama

When we left my sister mentioned she thought BM was fine with me, and that YSD was great, but ya DH's sister and eldest daughter - they were pretty rude and clearly have problems

I'm just glad my sister was there and I made the appearance as promised for YSD. And it's now over and done with. Yay!

zerostepdrama's picture

I bet you are glad that is over.

Sounds like it went as well as could have been expected.

ChiefGrownup's picture

Just what is your sister in law's problem, anyway? My in-laws have been nothing but welcoming and supportive to me. Not a single one of them is a fan of BM. If I didn't have those nice in-laws, making steplife work would be much harder.

So it's hard for me to picture a sister who prefers the ex-wife to her brother's new wife that makes him happy. What the foxtrot?

Disillusioned's picture

Chief, she is jealous and competitive about my relationship with DH. In fact she is resentful of my relationship with anyone in her family; FIL, Skids as well!

She's competitive and insecure about looks, success, popularity - you name it

I guess she is one of the most insecure people I've ever had to contend with in my life

And she handles her jealous insecurities with petty nastiness. She thinks if she minimizes and deflects anything that stands out about me she somehow comes out looking better :?

She just doesn't get that she continually comes out looking exactly what she is - weak, jealous, insecure and infantile

She also tends to think that by deliberately doing things that she thinks will humiliate me that she is 'taking me down a peg' but in reality, all she does is reaffirm for me that she is so unbelievably threatened by me. I literally have to do nothing, just show up and breathe, and it throws her in a jealous rage.

She is now competing about the 'who is slimmer' thing, since I dropped 20 pounds (thanks to DH's new dietary needs) and we won't even get in to how SIL was trying to compete there too at the shower

Her life is all about planning ways to get to me, bring me down, come out on top....so sad she can't just live her own life, focus on being her own best, try to actually be happy and enjoy her life

In the end, she doesn't realize I've won. I just live my life, and she is always trailing after, trying so hard to drag me down. Wish she knew how to just let go, give it up, and live her life already!