Does ignoring/disengaging skids ever get old?
My BF and I have been together for 8 months, and I love him very much, which at that point obviously makes it a bit harder to just up and walk away. I do not live with my BF, and he has his kid EOW and every Wedn for 2 hours. His son is 10 years old and I cant stand him and dont want to be around him or have anything to do with him. It wasnt always like this, but once I started seeing what a bratty little shit he was/is I had enough of him! My BF is FULLY aware of how I feel about his kid and still wants to be with me no matter how I feel about/towards his kid.
My question is for all of the SM who DISLIKE/HATE their skids and want nothing to do with them or being around them when DH has them full/part time at all and/or the SM who disengage from them totally.
***When your DH/SO has his kid(s) and they are at your house and you ignore their existence and dont do anything for them or with them does that get old? Does it make you madder? Unhappier? More resentful? towards skids/dh?
I want to be with my BF but I also dont want to take the marriage step someday if I am going to be miserable because I cant stand his kid and dont want him around if there is no hope of being happy and not whind up resenting/hating my BF/skid (even more then I do)...
Bottom line....Is it worth it
Bottom line....Is it worth it to be with a man even if you REALLY love him if you cant stand, dont want to be around, or help raise, his kid(s)????
On the bright side, at least
On the bright side, at least you don't have to pretend to like your skid, like I do. Always look on the bright side of life, hahaha.
During the next 8 years many
During the next 8 years many things can happen. Death or other reason the mother can't keep the kid heads the list. You'll have him and during the worse years of child raising the teens. Your attitude towards the boy will be reflected no matter how you hide it so be prepared for more than a rocky ride if you become a part of this. More like the Alps and it'll all be downhill.
I'm always amazed a childless women and men who want to hitch up with someone with kids. A million childless, no a billion(s), people out there - go find one.
I am divorced & childless.
I am divorced & childless. My preferred criteria:
A man divorced, older, & with children.
Divorced because my exH seemed to be confused about what was expected in a marriage. A divorced man would already have an idea.
Older because my exH, even at 27, seemed to be confused about how to behave like a grownup. An older man would be more likely to act like a grownup.
With children because I have a love for family-life. I love children (even steps) & I wanted a husband who had experienced family & had decided whether or not he wanted live as a family man.
To be very honest, I have no regrets. I got everything I wanted & expected in my husband. Everyone is different. I think it's ignorant to assign childless to childless. Why...because it's hard???
I can tell you, I've managed nearly 12 years with my DH & his children. I couldn't manage but 3 with my childless ex.
I am a bm to an 8 yr old
I am a bm to an 8 yr old boy...not childless...believe me I definitely would NEVER date a man with kids if I was kidless..that would be a fate worse then death IMHO.
It's pretty bad, hahaha.
It's pretty bad, hahaha. I've said it in other threads, but if SO ever got SD full-time, I'd be out of here.
I really love my bf...hell I
I really love my bf...hell I must if I stay with him KNOWING that I cant stand his son right??? Lol...I could have run for the hills but I stay for HIM!!!! Because I love HIM...ONLY!!!
I pretty much told him that...I was honest with him and I always am when it comes to his kid and he knows how I feel and still wants to be with me and marry me etc.
As much as I love him...I am NOT going to PURPOSELY allow myself to be miserable because of HIS CHILD having to live with us full time!!! PERIOD. I wouldnt expect him to stay if my son made his life hell or was a complete, whiney, bratty, annoying, selfish little shit and what not so he needs to realize that I would expect the same!!!
Life is too damn short to be miserable...ESPECIALLY for someone little shit of a child!!! F THAT!!!!
I am cordial to my SD11 but I
I am cordial to my SD11 but I do not really pay her any attention. I only speak to her when it affects me, for instance, messing up my house or jumping in conversations between her dad and I, touching my stuff without asking. I am really over it, I have chosen to totally disengage from the child. It does not get old, it gives me peace of mind.
nope. doesn't get old. i love
nope. doesn't get old. i love being able to just ignore sd's existence most of the time. it's nice to have found a way to not be affected by her stupidity.
My SS lives with us just
My SS lives with us just short of full time. Ignoring him doesn't get old for me. Some days its the only way that I can sane. It helped alot when I first started doing it because it relieved a ton stress. The problem is that DH would hate if he knew. When he is home I have to pretend like I actually paid attention to SS. That part gets old. I do worry about the fallout if DH finds out too. Its not too bad as long as SD is home, because they play together. If she is at a friends house or something and it is just me and SS its get a little harder.
My advice would be to make sure you really know how your BF feels about it. Make sure you are getting the real feelings and not just the ones that will make you happy. You don't want to get yourself into something that is ok for now, but won't be ok tomorrow.