Dear Valued Users,
It's with a heavy heart that we announce the permanent closure of StepTalk.org on August 31st, 2025.
This decision wasn't an easy one. For over twenty years, StepTalk has been a source of support for stepparents around the world! However, over the years, the costs associated with maintaining and upgrading the site to remain secure, meet current standards and maintain availability have become unsustainable.
We are incredibly grateful for your support, contributions and the community you've helped us build. Your engagement has made StepTalk.org a special place and we cherish the memories and connections made here.
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Thank you for being a part of our journey and we wish you all the best.
Sincerely,
Dawn and The StepTalk Team
Um, no. If my DH threw away
Um, no. If my DH threw away my 11 y.o.'s things without consulting me first, I'd blow a gasket. A 3 y.o.?!?! They all have trouble listening. It's called being 3.
Me and & his dad have already
Me and & his dad have already talked about it. So yes I do throw them away if he isn't listening then sorry throw it away.
I can see this as a
I can see this as a punishment if they are being ungrateful, or stole or lied or not picking up...but listening there is much better ways to make a kid listen.
Not listening when I'm
Not listening when I'm telling them to pick up their toys, brush their teeth, get dressed, sharing. In all circumstances. They listen to me when their dad is around but when I'm left alone they aren't.
What I If I told them to put
What I If I told them to put them in a bag and put them in the garage for a while, and say "I'm throwing them Away"
I can say telling the child
I can say telling the child to go to time out, or maybe that they won't be able to play with the toys and sticking to it...but flat out throwing them away or saying you are seems harsh because what happens when you bring them back and they find out you didn't throw them away? That will make them know they will get them back - being honest and saying they can't play with them is one thing throwing or saying you are throwing away is different.
You have to find something to stick to and that dad will agree to as-well. I personally will sit down and explain stuff to SS4 and tell him if he doesn't do it then there will be such and such consequence.
Time outs haven't worked,
Time outs haven't worked, grounding doesn't work. So we need to come up with a better solution that is harsh so it will stop it and they won't want to do it again.
Taking 'things' away from
Taking 'things' away from children and telling them they'll get them back when they stop misbehaving or after a certain amount of time is a time honored way of correcting behavoir. Adults are suspended from work, their ability to earn money is taken away, if they misbehave.
When my teen steps came home and shed clothing on the couch or floor the items would disappear only to be found in a unusual location the next day. That behavoir stopped in about 3 days. I could be a chilly walk to school or they'd be forced to wear something that wasn't fashionable enough.
You'll find it less effective with a three year old but it'll set the trend for him.
So.. basically you think
So.. basically you think lying to the kids will make things easier? Because saying you will throw the stuff away when you really aren't is lying.. and then when they find out you didn't throw the toys away they won't believe a thing you say.
Earning the toys and TV time back is far better. "OK, tidy up now or there is no TV programmes until 6pm. No games, no DVDs, nothing. Only C-Span (a wonderful punishment)".
If they aren't listening to you then you need to get their father to tell them they need to do as you say or he will have to find alternative childcare arrangements. After all, they learnt this behaviour somewhere and as their father he needs to 'father' them.
Parenting is a work in
Parenting is a work in progress. You have to stay on them for years. You can't expect to tell them once and they will do it for years.
Lying to them? Seriously?
Lying to them? Seriously? Isn't it lying about Santa and Easter bunny too? Give me a break
Saying that a 3 year old does
Saying that a 3 year old does not listen and you want to throw said child's toys aways is absolutely RIDICULOUS. Utterly ridiculous.
It is stuff like this that gives SMs a bad name.
i would not throw them away
i would not throw them away but if its a problem then do time out or take some toys away and give back when there is an improvement with whatever the issue maybe
Ugh, where do I even begin
Ugh, where do I even begin with this???? NO, do NOT throw a toddler's toys away for not listening. I think some parenting classes are in order for these people... :jawdrop: