Do you ever hide in your bedroom to escape the chaos?
Do things ever get so crazy around the house that you just need to hide in the bedroom and escape from it all? DH and I don't work in the summers, but during the school year when we are working, his mom watches SD4's on Fridays for us. Well yesterday, she tells him she is coming over today to watch the girls. My question to him is "why?". For one, we aren't working right now and two, we have no plans to do anything outside the house (such as dinner or a movie or even shopping). In fact, I had stuff I needed to get done around the house.
He said I just didn't wanted to hang out with my MIL and she had a right to see SD4's. While it's true, she isn't my favorite, my comment was that if she would like to spend time with the girls then why not have her come to the house for a "visit" (or better yet take them to her house) as opposed to the usual "9-5 babysitting" that she does when we are working.
Obviously she came over for the "9-5" anyways and it was horribly awkward, chaotic and uncomfortable. What do I do when I am trying to get stuff done around the house and SD4's are talking back to their Grandma, but I can't step in because she is "watching" them? Or how uncomfortable I felt when I would notice she had forgotten (or done something wrong) in regards to their medical condition but didn't want to point it out. On top of that, she brought DH's nephew (7), who basically just chased SD4's around the house all day terrorizing them. Let me tell you, our house is more like a large apartment. Not fit for three adults and three screaming, fighting children for extended periods of time.
DH slept in of course, why not, his mom was here to watch the kids right? I finally made him get up, then locked myself in the bedroom to escape the chaos. There I hid, with the TV, my laptop and a stack of books. I felt so guilty not being apart of the craziness that our home had become but I felt I had no choice because I was about to lose my sanity. Nonetheless, MIL stayed at our house for 12 hours!!! She only lives 30 min away (it's not like she doesn't see them all the time). She was here from the minute the girls woke up, until right before their bed time. I would have gone somewhere else if I had a choice but I'm not always able to drive.
Does anyone every hide to preserve their sanity?
I'm there right now
I'm there right now
We guys call them our "Caves"
We guys call them our "Caves" - even a favorite chair or corner can be a "cave" - but the best caves are a garage workshop with central heating and cooling with space for a small fridge. Modern men's caves often have cable and internet access too. It's the only way to disengage!
I spent a lot of time in mine when I was raising skids! A good cave is essential. What was it Virginia Wolfe said "a woman needs a room of her own". She was talking about writing, but in a step family, its a matter of survival.
I do that - at least once
I do that - at least once each time SS6 is with us. DH gets upset, because he feels that he has to explain to SS6 why I don't want to play with him. So, he tells him I'm sick. Yeah, never mind telling him that adults don't always want to play ALL DAY LONG!!
That is a great thing to do
That is a great thing to do and I have done it many times.
My only complaint is that the TV died in the bedroom so I can only read, sleep or play my little videos - go for it and enjoy!
They are his kids, it is his turn to deal for a while
I'm hiding in the bedroom
I'm hiding in the bedroom right now.
skids came for a 2 week holiday visit on Thursday and I've been spending a LOT of time in the bedroom. Unfortunately, I'm spending most of it on the computer instead of tackling that pile of ironing in the corner that keeps taunting me and that I was able to overlook until I took up residence in here.
sometimes it is better to
sometimes it is better to stay away. at least you can control that. when I am in a situation out of my control, I just stay away from the people as much as possible. Otherwise, anything you do or say will backfire. It is very sad that the kids and parents can do any say anything they want, but the step parent is held to a different standard which is not fair.
I didn't know other people
I didn't know other people did this! LOL YES I do that all the time!!! My DH says I am isolating away from the family, whatever, it's called I am trying to regain some sanity, when the skids are here, that seems to be all I want to do! I take my baby in my room, read, write, watch movies, anything to get away!