Discussing biological children family names
My girlfriend and I enjoy discussing different things like what we want out of a relationship, our views on moving in together and the likes. Recently we have been talking about a potential biological child(In many years from now, but we want to know where each other stands.) She doesn't want more then one child sense she didn't really want any to begin with, but this would be my first and(given we stick together) only biological child, and she would like for any other child to take her last name to match SS.
I'm not un open to the idea but I'm wondering if anyone would consider this asking a bit much out of someone who would only have one biological child with her?
I'll admit it's a bit un settling but I understand the reasoning(For the to children to share a last name.)
The other thing I needed
The other thing I needed advice one(The thread I created never appeared) was sleeping problems. My SS is 3, and he does not enjoy going to bed. He'll stand by the door, scream, cry, call for "maman" until he just stops(and goes to bed). What is the solution to such behavior?
It is very taxing on the mother and I'd like to help her find a way to help her child get used to the idea of sleep.
hyphenate the last names can
hyphenate the last names can be a good compromise. My FDH and I went around about this because he wanted us to have the same last name and I have a DD and he had his own bios. We compromised on hyphenated but he was going to hyphenate my last name with his as well. That way we were the same and each child would share a parent name too.
We do not wish to marry at
We do not wish to marry at any point though that may change and where we live last name's are not taken during marriage. Don't ask me why i don't know. She has a sister that could pass on the name.
Placing both names wouldn't work too well as it would simply sound odd as one name is of french origin and the other is english origin.
Not sure if the US has this,
Not sure if the US has this, but here in Canada(Only one province here doesn't allow name changes through marriage and i hppen to live here) there is "Common Law" which is marriage without actual marriage.
In my case since the BD is long gone and has no rights I could leglly adopt her child.
Thank you everyone for your
Thank you everyone for your thoughts on the topic It's helped put me at ease and see other perspectives.
As for not taking names after marriage it's a law presented by our provincial(US it would be State) government. Socially you may use your married name, but legally(Signing any documents,etc) you HAVE to use madien name. Rumor has it it's due to a high rate of divorces which were costing the government too much time and resources to keep up with.
It really doesn't matter. My
It really doesn't matter. My DH's ex has three children, with three different men. All three kids have a different last name. Now including his ex, who changed her last name to her maiden name.
How old are you and your
How old are you and your girlfriend?
I am 21 and she is 22.
I am 21 and she is 22.
I actually figured as much.
I actually figured as much. You are too young right now to make decisions like this. regarding the future. Your opinions and feelings will change and your life will change drastically in the next few years. Don't rush into anything! These will some really fun years for you.