I have been wondering the same thing. me and my husband have been together 3 years married 1 year and i hate his kids 6 and 9 and we have two babies together 16 months and 2 months. all me and my dh do when they are around is fight and argure about sk. i dont want to leave my husband cause i love him so much and we are fine when the sk are at the bm which is next door but i am so unhappy when the skids are at our house on the weekends.

I ended a relationship with a man I loved because of the way he acted toward my son and his snide comments to/about him.

I've thought about it.

I have thought about it, but then the skids win. Four more years until the youngest is 18. I just keep telling myself that.

Yes! I left my Dh right before Christmas in 2007. It was a combination of reason but the big ones were SD causing trouble and DH constantly sticking up for her. I heard so many times from him, if you don't like it leave. Finally, I had enough. Another reason, was the lack of emotional support I received from him. He was so focused on giving SD enough attention, because she demanded it, that I was left on the back burner. The order of his priorities where this: 1. His Daughter 2. His Friends 3. His Ex Wife 4. Me. And I am NOT exaggerating. SD would cause arguments with me when he wasn't around, then cry and tell him I was being mean for not reason. It was like a constant war in my home and I walked on eggshells a lot. I was disrespected everyday SD was there (which as about 75% of the time). There was no way disengage because BM insisted SD stay with me (My DH traveled for work Monday - Friday, so he wasn't there) I think BM loved the fact that SD caused problems because she wanted DH back. Sex did not exist because he refused to when SD was around. Finally, I left. SD asked me if it was because of her, of course I said no. We were separated for 5 months. We talked a lot and worked through our issues and got back together. We moved to another state after we got back together. SD came with us because BM and BM's boyfriend didn't want her full time. When we moved, SD got even worse! This time, DH finally noticed the issues, the trouble, the lying, the manipulating, etc. He put his foot down. SD didn't like it and became physically and verbally abusive. I put up with it for a long time at this point, about 14 years, because no one wanted this kid. I felt bad for her. I think SD new that too. I kicked her out. DH backed me up and we did not speak to SD for 2 years after that. SD's mom threatened to have me arrested for Child Abuse because I kicked her out. BM even tried to get DH to move back to state and get an apartment with her so they could raise the then 17 yr old together since neither I nor BM's boyfriend would have her in our homes.(Bm's Boyfriend was disengaged from day one) When DH said no, that's when SD stopped talking to us and said that her daddy picked my side. I was treated more like her sibling then a step parent by both BM and DH for a long time. After she moved out, my husband and I went those next two years with no arguing, not even a slight disagreement. SD caused all the drama and now we were drama free. If it wasn't for me leaving him, this would have never come to light. I'm glad that I did to this day. It helped my marriage. I couldn't wait till she turned 18, it was like a prison sentence. And I loved my SD like my own. I truly did, because I can not have children of my own. DH backs me up to this day. He now understands that I am his life partner, the love of his life and I finally come first. (Sorry this was so long)

I am struggling BIG time with it this week. That is why I joined this forum today. I am so frustrated and feel like I am the bad person because my SD is 3 years old. Amazing the words a BM feeds a 3 year old to get her to say these things to me and then DH does nothing to help. He says he doesn't know what to do. Well, I don't either. But it seems like it would be easy to cut and run..... My first blog entry explains it all.

I have been there before, but divorced for other reasons. But I have decided to remain single as long as my kids (and his) are dependents. Recently things have gotten miserably stressful as bf's court date approached (and then got pushed back AGAIN!) All the drama with the bm, and him being so stressed out about how the judge is going to see both sides, whether or not he'll win, etc. just took a toll on me. I literally had a headache for 3 days. All we were talking about anymore was the bm and her games, and everything that needed to be done for court, etc. So I asked him to stay at his apartment because his drama was making me sick. I haven't seen him at all for 3 days and I feel sooooooooo much better. I told him this tonight and asked if he was doing okay not having me to dump on. He is doing better, too. Turns out that you can only dwell on these things for so long when YOU are the only one in the conversation, but when you have someone to talk to, it goes on and on and on. So the separation has been good for both of us.
Every marriage would make it till the end if everyone lived in separate houses LOL. The key is to not get caught up in the drama. If you can't literally get away, you need to change the way you respond/react to it. If each person did this for their own sanity, it would be better for everyone involved. And if you can't figure out how to co-exist with all the drama, it might be time to get a small apartment or a room at a friend's house or whatever you can manage, and have some time alone. There are times I bet you would prefer to be homeless than to be dealing with problems at home. Home should never be that way. Do everything you can to make sure home is a place you want to be. And if you can't, get out for your own good.

I've made it 18 years. Why quit now? If I was going to leave, it would have been back when we were shelling out $700.00 goddamn dollars a month in C.S. so BM could spend it on her goddamn boyfriend!

We came close - real, real close. SD was manipulative, controlling, selfish, demanding and a complete mini-wife. It took me doing some research, finding this site and blogging to help us. If it wasn't for this site, DH would probably still have blinkers on. The whole thing was new to us and there's just not enough info for step-families, particularly on trying to blend.

Once DH woke up and saw what she was doing, he put his foot down - and he put it down hard. No more spoiling, introduced boundaries and stood up for our relationship. She didn't like it and ended up being sent to live full time with BM. Now BM is driving us crazy - but we're handling it.

I think the key is as long as your DH supports you and stands by your side 100%, your relationship will have a chance.

Well I was also damn close. I finally couldn't take anymore. It was then and only then DH realized HE needed to change.
Don't think this ends when they turn 18 it does not. It only ends when their fathers end it. My husbands daughter was deliberately trying to break up our marriage. DH was supporting her. She was 30, had a live in
Boyfriend and a baby. She would still be causing us grief to this day if she was in our lives.

There is a poster on here whose Sd is turning 50. Guess what. Daddy is still taking het
Side. Read it. Posters name is Shesdrivingme.
Donewiththem, well her thirty year old kept it up to the point of humiliating her at her fathers funeral. Yep, even
after their fathers are dead these grown women keep it up.

Until you come to the end if the road your DH will never change therefore neither will his daughter.

I too thought I loved my husband and he loved me. Guess what. When you love someone you don't allow your daughter to disrespect then. You don't support your daughter against them when
Your daughter is way out of line. That is not love.

I've thought about it several times, but I would never let one person drive me away from DH and split up our family.