Daily phone calls
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FDH calls BM every single day to talk to his 5 year old son. Is this weird? They've been divorced since the kid was 1, and he has no emotional attachment to BM I am positive, but this still bothers me. I feel like he's calling to "check in" with family number one. We have been living together for one year and have no children together yet. I have jealousy issues towards SS5 and BM which I'm working on but it's a pain in the butt. I would never express my jealousy over the phone calls as I think it is rude of me to have a problem with him just trying to communicate with his son. SS5 is with us every other weekend btw.
no, i dont think its weird.
no, i dont think its weird. the kid knows nothing other than his parents living in two homes, and dad was probably calling daily since he left and this is their normal routine.
my fiance's agreement says that parents will encourage "regular telephonic communication" between child and other parent. sadly for us that never happens despite my stupid SD13 having her own cell.
Best thing for you is to find
Best thing for you is to find a guy without children. Your maternal and normal feelings about non-biologically related kids is going to make it very difficult to marry a man with other children.
Find a guy without kids and end all of these problems.
I don't think it's weird
I don't think it's weird either. My DH used to talk to his kids every night before bed when they were smaller. (2 are now in their 20's and the youngest is 17.) Honestly, it's probably a good routine and helps their relationship.
My BIL talked to his kids
My BIL talked to his kids every night before bedtime when they were little. He wanted to talk to them not their mother. My son calls his dad twice a week.
My SD has trouble keeping a
My SD has trouble keeping a conversation going at 23, I can't imagine if DH had talked to her on the phone everyday when she was 5.
My SD6 doesn't like talking
My SD6 doesn't like talking on the phone so rarely speaks to the other bio-parent when she is away from them. Even when upset and "missing mommy" she will say she doesn't want to talk to mommy on the phone when offered. She used to call Dad (my husband) sometimes before bedtime when she was at her BM's but that was more of a ploy to prolong the bedtime routine I think and she didn't keep it up for long.
I can see this from both sides. If it is what the kids are used to then fair enough and it is a shame to stop the calls, but at the same time it seems rather disruptive to everyone else around them, BM and SM and any other family around.
what are your jealousy
what are your jealousy issues? this may just be a symptom of something bigger, maybe boundary crossing.
My DH calls his kids
My DH calls his kids everyday. Just to say hi and check in and see how their day was. It's not weird to me. They are 6 and 8 so the convos don't last long .. but it goes a LONG way to combat the BS that BM is filling their heads with.
I see some saying that it's disruptive, but it's not so much for us. It's just part of our day. DH will take a few minutes to give them a call, and make sure they answer when BM calls (or calls back). We don't make or allow calls when we're in the midst of activities either, so actual convos don't happen everyday.
He talks to the kids .. not to BM. If/when she gets on the phone, he hangs up.
Different ringtone or silence
Different ringtone or silence sounds perfect. Unless there is a court order requiring that she be allowed to talk to the children on some sort of schedule she can be safely ignored. He might have the kids call her once a week.