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Christmas Card Photo

OptimisticMe's picture

Does your Christmas card photo have your steps in it? I always used to have SD in our photo, but this year she isn't living with us. I consider her a part of the family that can no longer live with us, if that makes any sense. Anyways, she is not allowed at my house, but I told DH he could bring her over for a photo if he wanted, he didn't. So what do I do with my Christmas card!?!>?! I thought I could just have a variety of pics, but I really want one of us all together as well, but SD won't be in that one. Will it look bad to have a variety of photos, one of which is a family photo without SD?

iqrt's picture

If SD isn't allowed at your house, then why would you feel obligated to put her in the family photo/christmas card?

Presumably everybody who matters probably knows about the living situation anyway. If you feel strongly about including her, good for you, just put in a picture of her by herself.

OptimisticMe's picture

You have no idea how much your response helped me! I am trying to stop looking at SD as my "daughter" and instead look at her as a "step"...I don't know how to play the new role, but assumed it should be something like what you stated...if she isn't there, oh well, life goes on for the rest of us. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

OptimisticMe's picture

For those who are curious, I made a photo collage on our Christmas card. One photo with my bio family, one of just my bios, one of SD and BD together and one of SD's school pic. The ones with SD are larger than the others to take away from the fact that she isn't in the family photo. If anything, she looks more prominent than the rest of us. I think it turned out really well Smile

SanAntonioSoccerMom's picture

My family photos are a collage of about 5 different photos because we are never in the same place at the same time to take a dang photo together. That's sad!

PeanutandSons's picture

Every time this card gets brought up later in life??? Who just randomly talks about Xmas cards years later? I couldn't tell you what anyone's Xmas card looked like last year and I certainly wouldn't ever bring it up in idle conversation.

You are making a mountain out of a mole hill. Not being in the Xmas card isn't going to scar poor SD for life, she probably won notice and even if she did probably wouldn't care. She doesn't live there so why would she be in the card? OP gave her dh the option to include her, he declined.

OptimisticMe's picture

Yes, and in his defense, our BD got sick the night before, so he likely didn't want to expose SD, either.

BD looks a little pale in the photo...poor thing!

I was mostly curious what other step-families most make sure their steps are there for family photos? I always get a variety of responses on here, still not sure what most "norms" are.