Can't handle SS6
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:? I have a SS6 that my husband ABSOLUTLEY WILL NOT punish, yell is as far as it goes and 10min later he is doing the same thing, or something else he knows good and well hes not suppose to do. My husband says its because of his and exwifes divorce, that he's been thru enough... OK so since when is that an excuse to make your child mind!? The SS has an attitude from h*** anyway and the excuse for that is "he gets it honest from his mom" so why no correct it and disipline it? I need help before I take it upon myself for some correcting and make my husband mad. Any help suggestions?
Been through enough?
Been through enough? Discipline is not torture!
Sorry, that comment was no
Sorry, that comment was no help at all. DH needs to discipline his kid before he gets too out of hand. He will have to learn this for himself. Maybe you could disengage for a while, and allow him to be the one to notice the broken things, spills and messes, bad grades, etc. As for 'he gets it honest'... if he doesn't stop making excuses for the kid, the poor little guy will never learn a thing in life.
This is such a common issue,
This is such a common issue, that I'm sure everyone here has delt with it. But it still sucks! My SD6 sounds just like your ss6. Totally runs the ship at our house, making messes and being rude everywhere she goes! Occasionally DH will step up and address issues, but they carry no weight because SD6 knows he doesn't mean it! Minutes later she's back to the same old behavior! I have for the past two weeks been doing just what RaeRae suggested. I have totally detached myself from the bad behavior. It is so hard to ignore, but I try my best and don't let it get to me. Eventually DH realizes that SD6 is out of control and he is forced to deal with it. He said to me this week, "I guess I'm gonna have to start disaplining her a little more, she's kinda out of control." Trust me she's been that way for her whole life, but if DH doesn't have to deal with it, he might not see it. Try to ignore the behavior and messes and see how long it takes DH to step up to the plate.
My DH likes this excuse: " I
My DH likes this excuse:
" I don't know how to raise children." at age 43 years old...
I looked at him and said, "Well, at 18 years old and holding my newborn, I was not exactly a pro myself but caught on quick."
DH: "Well, you were a girl......." What is this? The 1950's? Where's Wally and June Cleaver?
Better than that. I quit
Better than that. I quit helping him at all and now he has to do everything himself for the entire visit. It is not so much "fun" then.
does anyone else get the
does anyone else get the "I'll kill you in your sleep" look from the SKid? DH finally noticed them one day when I mentioned it to him... I think I got it that day that "he got it honest from his mom" excuse.
Mmmm hmmmm. I did get that
Mmmm hmmmm. I did get that look. I got it one time. I gave that face an open handed slap and the look was replaced with this :jawdrop: . I have never gotten it from any child in my house EVER again.
Thats the reaction I'd love
Thats the reaction I'd love to give but I'd say there would be a divorce there, he don't discipline him and I'd say he'd freak if I did. He used to stare at me when we were eating dinner at the table and when I realized my husband wasn't goin to correct that rudeness, I started laying my fork down and just staring back, lol it worked and the husband never knew how I fixed that problem... I keep trying to tell myself that in a few years he will be alittle older and maybe grow out of the acting up just to see how far he can go.
I just want to say I am
I just want to say I am SOOOOO glad I have found this site.. it is amazing, I can relate to everyones posts and know what they are going thru, I am so glad I am not the only person with these problems and have found somewhere to vent and ppl not think you are a bad person cause they totally understand where you are coming from....
My husband asked me today if we have a child together will I love it the same as I do SS... I was like no I will love my own more... and yes I will buy him/her more (on weeks when SS isnt here)... duh it will be mine of course I will love it more... am I wrong for feeling that? DH got upset, he said he would love them and treat them the same, I thought well of course cause they would both be your actual children!
I don't think you're wrong
I don't think you're wrong for feeling that way; you're being honest with him on how you feel. It's never good to tell someone what they want to hear for sake of not hurting feelings. It's normal to love your own kids more than your SKs. It's a different kind of love. When you have carried a baby for 9 months and gone through the agony of child birth you have a special love and bond for that child. Coming into a ready made family where you have to get to know your SKs, many times be put in the back seat , AND not get appreciated as the BM does makes it difficult to have a maternal love for SKs. I feel the relationship with step kids is an investment relationship that when nurtured correctly can lead to stronger bonds but takes work and lots of time.
I am so glad I am not being a
I am so glad I am not being a bad person for thinking/feeling the way I do... no to just make the DH understand!