the braces discussion....again
So i posted about this awhile back anticipating it would be coming up soon. well, that time is here.
SD's dentist referred her to an orthodontist. SD has a beautiful smile, fiance and i think this is merely the trend of "everyone gets braces". SD's best friend has them so of course she wants them too (the friend has super messed up teeth tho).
his decree says "reasonable and necessary medical expenses" and does specifically include orthodontics. however, IMO (and fiance's) "reasonable and necessary" as it pertains to braces would mean that the braces are medically necessary due to jaw alignment, etc. we dont think braces for cosmetic purposes should be included as a "reasonable and necessary" expense, although others could certainly disagree. the language is clearly open to interpretation.
as many of you here said, BM wil get her orthodontist to say its medically necessary. our thinking is that fiance will then take SD to another orthodontist for a second opinion. what do you think will happen if fiance's orthodontist says they are not medically necessary? We are thinking that if he does, fiance simply wont pay for half, and that BM will either let it go or pay 100% since court and attorney fees to fight this could be almost as high as the half that BM would be looking for. our dental plan does not cover any portion of braces. Fiance is willing to pay half if the second opinion concurs that it is medically necessary.
has anyone taken the second opinion approach and been successful? has anyone fought ambiguous language like "reasonable and necessary"?
I don't have any experience
I don't have any experience in this, but you all sound like you've got your heads screwed on right. You are making perfect sense as far as I'm concerned.
Getting a second opinion won't hurt in either case, so it sounds like a win-win to me.
Does that help any?
I think I'd get a second
I think I'd get a second opinion, too. My kids' teeth are pretty messed up, so when their dentist told me they'd both need braces (and teeth pulled), I didn't question it. I already knew. They inherited my crowded mouth and buck teeth, unfortunately. I had to have braces, too. It made a world of difference for me. I looked like Bugs Bunny beforehand. :O
But if you don't think there's a problem, there's nothing wrong with getting a second opinion. That dentist and the orthodontist could just be good buddies looking for vacation money, I don't know. I also agree that a lot of people get braces for their kids because "that's just what you're supposed to do," not necessarily because they're needed.
If they do get braces, BM's going to chip in her half, right? And if the second dentist says they're not necessary, I'd definitely listen. Hell, get a third opinion, too.
Definitely get second
Definitely get second opinions. DDs permanent teeth came in amazingly well...and now she needs braces.
I have braces. No one thought I needed them because on appearance, my teeth were "straight"...but bite and alignment issues are important.
You and DH should find an ortho yourselves. Most give free consultations...and just get a 2nd or 3rd opinion.
Good point. Sometimes the
Good point. Sometimes the teeth can "look" all right - straight and whatnot - but the alignment is screwed up. Any orthodontist worth his/her salt would be willing to show you the x-rays and point out EXACTLY what the problem is, if any.
Get the second opinion...But
Get the second opinion...But if it says get them, get the braces. There are some things that you can not see. Alignment and bite can be an issue. I wore braces for 6 years at great expense and none of my problems could you see. I had a tooth that never came down and only xrays showed it.
Depends on DR counselor
Depends on DR counselor and/or judge if it goes that far. SO had to pay for two full set of braces for SS as the retainer was conveniently not worn and BM loves to suck any little DI we have. Came up in court when we discovered BM was embezzling money from SO by submitting false co-pays to him for cash. DR STILL made SO pay half for the full second set of braces, but we had it written up at that point that SO would only be responsible for one full set of braces for next kid (SD). You probably should just suck it up on this one.
Oh, and by the way, BM didn't get in any trouble for the insurance fraud. SO's attorney used it for a bargaining chip. Personally, I was gung-ho for filing charges for that one!
well that's the other thing.
well that's the other thing. based on how irresponsible SD is, we are both fairly certain that she will nto wear her retainer or do any of the things she will need to do in order to be successful with her braces. and of course BM and fiance never force her or order her to do anything so if she tells BM "i dont waaaaaana wear my retainer today" then BM wont make her do it.
we'll see what fiance gets asked for and where this goes. he's remaining mum for now (when BM said she's taking her to the ortho he did nto comment).
of course dumbass SD has taken to Twitter, etc. to say "im getting braces!".
All parents should get more
All parents should get more than one opinion. There are some offices using newer braces that cut out a lot of other treatment like extractions and appliances that aren't needed. I went with the newer system for both my kids and actually saved money. (Look up the Damon system). Also, looks can be deceiving. My son's teeth were visibly "off." He really wanted braces to fix them. He also had an overbite, and a crossbite, which was not visible. My daughter had a beautiful smile. But a tiny mouth. The dentist referred us to the ortho much earlier than with my son and said, "You need to go NOW." She was 9. Two months later, she had braces. She will have to wear them longer than her brother did. Her mouth and smile look completely different now and there was plenty of room for her teeth to come in. When I was a kid, they yanked a bunch, even permanent ones. No SM wants her husband's money going unnecessarily for anything. But stay out of this one and let the parents decide. Encouraging dh to go against it is not your place. If this were your kid, you would feel differently. Because it's not, let them hash it out.
we are jointly discussing
we are jointly discussing this matter because it potentially could be a huge impact to our finances. SD's day to day medical appts, etc. i stay out of.
and if it were my kid id feel the same way - if they arent medically necessary then i would not spend the money. we wont know until we get a few opinions from various orthos.
Depends on what state you're
Depends on what state you're in, but in my state, it doesn't matter what the non-custodial parent thinks. If BM decides the kid needs braces.... DAD pays.
I have argued medically
I have argued medically necessary - these fricking Ortho offices are all one board that "kid NEEDS them because X, Y, Z" generally some unknown ortho term. I flat out said to the Ortho Assistant - Will KID die without them, or be severely unable to function....Answer...well, uhh...no - OK I said - they they are NOT Medically necessary are they.
Done.
And believe me KIDS teeth are messed up. The next answer - when BM has a JOB, benefits and can pay her share we are happy to discuss.
Crickets...
How old are they putting
How old are they putting braces on kids now? My fiance's 7 year old told us that mommy says she needs braces. Her teeth are coming in a little funny, but if they put them on now, what happens when she gets adult teeth?
In our CO, it states that if the BM does not discuss medical decisions, aside from emergency room visits, in advance, cost is on her. She continues to do as she pleases, we find out after the fact there was any visit. And tries to bill him. Her good friends own the dentist office she takes them to and they sent an over inflated bill directly to our house. Then she emailed us on a Wednesday that the youngest, 6 at the time had and emergency dentist appointment 2 days later, ( our weekend) and he was to take her. How does one schedule and emergency? Keep in mind the next town over has an emergency dentist open earl in the AM to late in the PM. BM could have take the child there that very evening, IF it was and emergency.
I'm not sure of the wording, "ambiguous or necessary", but I bet you can get that second opinion from an equally qualified orthodontist. That is why BM always loses, she doesn't allow SO to participate in any decision making. Asks, then goes ahead with what she wants anyway