Boyfriend driving me crazy re: SD2
My boyfriend and I were forced to move in together a little early due to circumstances beyond our control. He has a little girl five days of the week... she's not the issue. He's so insanely attached to her. He graduated in May of 2011 from college but didn't find a job until March of this year. They're incredibly close.
So I move in, we're sharing a bedroom. SD starts getting jealous. I move into the spare bedroom when she's here. I try to justify it, we rushed moving it, didn't give her time to adjust. He started working and his mom watches her in the house. Now he expects me to stay in the spare room ALL DAY when I'm not at class so she doesn't start "loving me more" because he read somewhere that time equates love.
Now SD2 cries because I won't stay downstairs with her when I get home or go downstairs to get a drink and thinks I don't like her. We fight over it constantly. Am I wrong here? I know we had to rush moving in but... this situation is killing our relationship. Shouldn't he be glad we love each other so much?
Also, he is constantly bugging her for kisses and sometimes I want to be like... let the kid play for two minutes. She gets so annoyed. Sometimes all I hear is, "Do you love daddy? Is daddy your favorite? Who do you love, is it daddy?" Just a running dialogue. And I know, parents love their kids. I see my brother and brother in laws and all. But I just feel like he doesn't give her her own space and that's why sometimes she comes to me more because I let HER tell ME she loves me instead of pressuring me.
Any advice on how to calmly handle this? I love them both, I don't want to lose them but I am going bananas!
Oh, he regrets it. And makes
Oh, he regrets it. And makes comments like, she's so gorgeous, how could he not want to kiss her? And he doesn't feel grandma is competition.
I think he has to make up for BM not wanting her. BM didn't bring her home from hospital or anything and just recently started taking her weekends. It's just so frustrating. I love him, I love SD, I want to be with him... I just don't know how to broach the subject.
His main thing is, if you don't like it, don't be with me but ugh, that's so not what I want!
He is pretty much telling you
He is pretty much telling you accept it or leave. He isn't going to change.
That little girl is going to be hell on wheels when she gets older.
^This
^This
There is no way I would be
There is no way I would be banished to another room because of a child. If you guys are serious enough to live together than she is going to have to adjust. She is 2 right? She will be fine. If he has issues with you being in the house with her there then you need to get out of the house, permanently...
Totally agree with Mazzy!!
Totally agree with Mazzy!!
Sounds to me like he's
Sounds to me like he's jealous!! If he can't spend time with her, no one will! And if she loves you more than him then he feels bad about it.. At first i was going to ask you if you were dating my man on the sly! Sounds just like him and his daughter when i first met him. But as time passed he cooled it with her, and began to focus more of that energy on me. That gave her more time to play and be her own person. But unlike my man, yours has banished you to a room, which is not cool. I'd let him know this is not an exceptable way to live, and if we can't get this resolved I'll get my own place!