BM requesting SD be with her for a few hours on FDH's time
This isn't the first time BM has wanted to take SD for a few hours out of the day on FDH's time. Usually FDH agrees, but I'm tired of her requesting to do things with SD on his time that shecould do on her own time.
BM ttoued FDH last night asking if she could have SD for a while on Thursday because her ssister is going to be in town for the weekend. I told FDH how I felt about her taking SD on his/our time. I'm not for it... Its the whole give her an inch she'll take a mile. And I just don't want to deal with SD attitude when she gets home.
Usually SD is an amazing little girl, who listens well and is kind to our DDs. This is ruling out her first day home, cause she is reajusting to being home and having structure. Totally understandable. But when BM takes her, even for a few hours we have to start all over again.
Told FDH last night when he got the text that I, personally, would say no. If BM's sister is going to be in town all weekend she could take SD to see her when she gets her back on Sunday. FDH didn't text BM back last night (she texted him at 930 right before we went to bed, and he didn't want to deal withher then.)
Am iI in the wrong for telling FDH what I thought? I mean I'm a stay at home mom (we can't afford for me to go back to work, I would just be paying for daycare if I went back into the work force.) So he wouldn't be the o e dealing with SD attitude when she got back home.
Should I just keep my mouth shut and let FDH handle it on his own, and make whatever choice he makes? Or did I handle this correctly? This is the first time I've spoke up in regards to how Ifelt about this kind of situation, because it happens a lot, and I'm tired of keeping what I think to myself.
Since you are the one that
Since you are the one that will have to deal with her attitude when she gets back, I don't think you were wrong.
When my girls come back from visiting their dad I sometimes have to remind them whose house they are in.
I don't think you are ever
I don't think you are ever wrong to express your feelings on an issue that will affect you. I know exactly what you mean about the shock skids experience coming back from BM's because my SD does the same thing. BM's house is basically a "fun house" as DH calls it- no rules, no bedtime, SD can basically do what she wants when she wants (she's only 5).
When she gets back to our house, she doesn't know how to act. We have structure. We have rules. She has a bedtime. It takes a few days for her to get back to normal and by that time, it's almost BM's time again. It's so frustrating.
Thank you all for your
Thank you all for your responses.
And I totally appreciate what you've said. Thankfully FDH took what I'd said to heart, I texted him this morning just to reidderate what I said last night to him. And he said that he though SD should go because we are getting her an extra day next week (BM's request not ours) I said I would understand if HE had asked for the extra day. But he didn't. And I also told him that I don't want to jeprodize (excuse my spelling) our structure to make BM happy. Because its not about her, its about SD. Thankfully he GOT IT!
I'm just soo tired of BM taking our time away from us. I understand the FDH will be working when BM picks SD up and drops her off, but that's not the point. It is still HIS time, and its time she respects that.
Sorry the last part was a little vent. But again thank you.
What's ROFR? And she doesn't
What's ROFR?
And she doesn't really care that FDH works when its his time. She's the one who came up with the schedule, so that's she doesn't have to pay for a full weeks child care when she's at school. She requested that we have SD wed-Sun so she can still spend a day with SD, and only has to pay for two days of Child care, she usually drops SD off Wed morning around 6, though her classes don't start til 10.